Bo Knows Baseball: A Redolent Recount from the Men’s Room

“Brush the ones you want to keep.”

This clever advice was given to me during my last dentist visit. The odd thing about it is, it’s working! I keep on brushing the teeth I want to keep and so far, I’ve been able to keep them all. It’s awesome. I’ve even started brushing my teeth after lunch at work. That whole routine is still a bit awkward for me (and for those who have to witness it). But as long as I can get out of the bathroom before someone drops a big one, I’m good to go! Can you imagine brushing your teeth, which obviously forces you to breathe through your nose, then that big hairy guy from the 5th floor comes in to “talk to a guy about a dog”? A scent so thick your nose may clog. And you can’t get that band out of your head… Needtobreathe. Or the popular catchphrase from 20 years ago, “Bo Knows Baseball.” Knows. Nose. What is that smell? Did he have Greek for lunch or something? It’s just too much to stomach so you run out foaming at the mouth. I guess the water fountain will have to do.

-Out of the Wilderness