How many dogs in the history of pup-kind have eaten one of these?

It’s kind of like that one song you’ve heard with a word you’d never expect to hear in the lyrics. Like “spool”… how many songs have ever included the word “spool”? I can tell you there’s probably only one…

That’s right. Just like there’s probably only one song with “spool” in the lyrics, there’s probably only one dog that’s ever eaten…

a sea horse!

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pictured is the sea horse who is no more, in his last sea-lfie

Yep, I hate to say it, but my 10-year-old beagle was feeling a bit horse the other day. Was she sick? No, no… she’s fine. But she ate Sea-biscuit!!! Yes, you read that right. I was at a beach on the gulf coast of Florida and randomly found a sea horse who had apparently passed away recently. He was floating in the shallow waters and wow, what a moment! I’ve only seen a sea horse in the wild once in my life, and now twice. I reverently picked it up and stored it for the trip back to the house so I could show the rest of the family.

A few folks got to see it before the pup-petrator commited– *ahem* ALLEGEDLY commited– the crime. I had set Sea-marty Jones in a spot where he would dry out, safely away from most activity around the house. A few hours later, Snack Beauty was gone! A potential witness stepped forward with some information, very incriminating information, about one of the dogs who shall not be named, but who is known for eating anything that is close to being edible. The witness said he saw this dog near the area of Sea-cretariat.

So we don’t have hard evidence to lock the canine up, but we know her well enough to know with 99% certainty she had a salty snack that day! Plus, that very afternoon when a squirrel ran by, I could swear I heard a neigh where a howl should’ve been 🙂

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looking awfully pupspicious

So long, BuSEAphalus…

-Out of the Wilderness

Man forgoes standard home security for “coronavirus” method instead

Sikeston, MO — A Sikeston man was questioned over the phone about a sign seen on his door in the last week or so, after reports from neighbors questioned it’s authenticity. Concerns grew from the homemade warning to which the man, who’s name we will not include for sake of privacy, responded, “If anyone wants to break into my house, they have to think to themselves first, ‘Is whatever I might get from this house worth getting the coronavirus also?’ I can tell ya right now, it’s not. All I have is a small TV and a lot of regrets.”

We chose not to take the bait on what regrets he may be speaking of, but during the course of the interview we couldn’t help but notice lots of meowing cats in the background and something he uttered about bitcoins.

Asked if he was actually diagnosed with the novel coronavirus, or if this is just some sort of stunt, he replied with a series of coughs and a few sniffles. Below are a couple of images courtesy of the Sikeston man, who wishes everyone well but warns his neighbors to stop with all the “nincompoopery.”

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Epic Spring Break in Florida

There was no alcohol, no drugs, no late night parties– actually, I take that back, there were a few late nights but for this spring break, it was all about family! I took my self-quarantining to the gulf shores of Florida where my nieces and nephew were spending their spring break.

This timely family reunion was so fun. Let’s see if I can remember all the things we did: spike ball, boat trips, tubing, wakeboarding, collecting shells, found a sea horse (more on that soon), naps, dog walks, morning beach jogs, volleyball, knockout, one on one basketball with my brother, races, fixing lights, food, more food, golf cart rides, tennis, movies, black jack, war (card game, see below), bonfires, s’mores, One Night werewolf game, sushi (thanks brother in law!), work (thanks Zac, Kelly, Anderson Design Group, Steve, and Electronic Express!), watching an eagle fly, dolphins, stingrays, fish, seagulls, paddleboarding… phew, I think that was it.

Oh, and my sister’s family got a puppy. So it was kind of a boring week 😉

I’m awake, but I think deep down I’m still napping.

-Out of the Wilderness

 

Why I prefer Uber Eats over Postmates

As a delivery driver for Uber Eats and Postmates, what success comes down to are these two things: money and convenience. Simple as that. There are other delivery services out there (GrubHub, DoorDash, Bite Squad, etc), but so far I’ve only worked with Postmates and Uber Eats, so that’s what I’ll cover in this post. 

Back to the two most important things… money and convenience. In late 2019 Uber Eats made a fundamental change that changed everything. Before this redesign of the app service, Uber Eats was lacking the same benefits Postmates was providing for drivers. Basically, Uber Eats sucked and here’s why… (remember this is all as a driver, I’m not sure how the app looked on the customer side)…

Uber Eats – 2019 and earlier
When a delivery popped up in the app, I could see where I’m picking up from but NOT where I’m delivering to. Many times I’d pick up from a restaurant within a mile or two (good), but then the delivery would be miles and miles away (bad), taking me out of the area I wanted to work in.

Postmates – 2019 and earlier
Postmates was good about showing the pick-up location and drop-off location before I’d have to accept or decline the delivery. The downside was they didn’t pay much per delivery.

Uber Eats – late 2019 to now
Uber Eats is glowing in its ease of use now! Sometime in late 2019, they made changes to include seeing both pick-up and drop-off locations as well as how much each delivery will pay. Another nice convenience is that the orders have already been placed so all I do when I get to the pick-up is literally just pick up the order. One potential drawback is they’re now offering a service where I (the delivery driver) have to make the order and pay for it (using an Uber Eats credit card, of course). I don’t see this as a good thing for me as a driver. It slows me down. Other pros: communication with the customer is easy and smooth through the app, tips go into my account within an hour, boost hours. Cons: while I’m on a delivery, I’ll get offers but can’t see where the drop-off location is. 

Postmates – now
One of my least favorite things about Postmates, well, I have two least favorite things. The pay sucks. I might spend 30 minutes on a delivery from beginning to end and make $3. In what world is that acceptable? But what annoys me the most happened again just yesterday. Here’s the quick story. Let’s say I was downtown, I’ll call that area 1. I received an offer for a pick-up in area 2, then delivering back to area 1. Fine, I’ll do that. As I was on my way to area 2 for the pick-up, Postmates automatically added an order onto the one I accepted. I checked the app to see what was going on and the new order they assigned to me was the same pick-up location (good) but the delivery is in area 9, about 8 miles away (very bad)! No, thank you. On top of that, they don’t let me drop the new order. I must either do both, or cancel both. That’s a huge no-no, in my world. The icing on the cake is that even if I did both, I would’ve spent an hour and made $3 per delivery. That’s $6. Again, no thank you. Pros: seeing both pick-up and drop-off locations. Cons: everything else. 

I’m this close to dropping the Postmates app altogether because now they are sorely outmatched by Uber Eats. 

What are your experiences with these apps, either as a driver or customer? How about any of the other delivery apps out there? Chime in below, I’m curious!

-Out of the Wilderness

Wacky Wednesday: Toilet paper meme

There’s no wasting of toilet paper these days. I can see it now after a rascally teenager comes home to discover he’s been caught tp’ing someone’s house.

Dad: Son, I didn’t raise you like this.

Son: But… it’s just a prank.

Dad: SON! TOILET PAPER DOESN’T GROW ON TREES.

Son: Isn’t the phrase “Money doesn’t grow on trees?”

Dad: Tomayto Tomahto, son. Also, you’re grounded. Now go get that toilet paper, your mother’s stuck on the john.

toilet paper

-Out of the Wilderness

…and I’m still in awe of You

Hebrews 3:3 “…just as the builder has more honor than the house.”

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This part of Hebrews chapter 3 stuck with me after I read it. It connects with how I feel about walking through a forest, standing on the ocean shore, even watching my dogs dig. You see, I am often enamored with nature. Most of it, even the scary things, fascinate me. I’m sure I’m not alone in this because for one thing, the Weather Channel exists. If people weren’t also fascinated by our environment, a channel about weather wouldn’t exist. It’s important, though, to not let our enchantment end with these “products.” Let the love we have go all the way through to the producer of these amazing things.

That’s what this verse in Hebrews means to me. Have a super day! Get out there and honor the house (whatever it is for you), but give even more honor to the builder.

-Out of the Wilderness