About Ben Wilder

Since 2005, I've called Nashville home. I'm the leader of the pack, which includes a 8-year-old beagle and a 6-year-old blue heeler mix. My days include writing, video editing, dog boarding, and other fun activities. Thanks for checking out my blog, I hope you enjoy it!

The royal ‘I do’

I don’t want to poo poo on anyone’s parade here, but I can’t figure out why half of America (and by default that should include their husbands, too, I guess) is so excited about the royal wedding. Or is it just weddings in general? Wait wait, relatively unknown girl meets prince and against all odds becomes princess… it’s the storyline of pretty much every Disney movie! I get it now.

But here in the real world, the royal happenings usually have nothing to do with anything or anyone over here, except that Meghan Markle is (or was, according to Wikipedia) an American actress. By the by, she was also a briefcase girl on “Deal or No Deal,” which sounds slightly sexist in today’s culture, also pointed out by this guy.

[check out this “Deal or No Deal” model who recently starred in a music video]

meghan-markle-deal-or-no-deal

image via Us Magazine

There wasn’t this much hype around her first wedding, why this one? Ohhhh because it’s the royal family. She’ll be a princess. She’ll be a queen. Um, nope! Harry, her fiancé or husband depending on when you read this, is 6th in line to the throne! In other words, he’s just chillin’ and now she’ll be just chillin’, too, kind of like winning the lottery for her, I guess.

I’m not upset about the marriage or “the big day” for the happy couple, just curious. I’ve heard some folks are waking up in the wee hours of the morning to watch the ceremony. Y’all crazy! But hey while you’re at it, can you go ahead and feed my dogs? 🙂

-Out of the Wilderness

 

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You know it’s time to go to the store when…

I was recently reminded that I needed to make a special trip to the store. What for? Well, I’ll just say this…

you know it’s time to go to the store when all you have left are Dude Wipes.e31a401a-cedb-4bd1-9b60-2e0866fdccc2_1.0fa4208c120dea3f418c9b4938979181
-Out of the Wilderness

*As an Amazon Associate, I earn a portion of any transaction made from links on this site. There is no extra cost for you.*

Doggy doo on a stick

One of my dogs eats her own poop. I’ve written about it before so it’s not a subject I’m uncomfortable with. I mean, if she’s comfortable enough to eat poop, shouldn’t I be comfortable enough to talk about it? She’s my daughter after all, and I’m not ashamed of her! With that said, I’m not particularly fond of this habit of hers. She’s 8 years old and pretty much for her entire life I’ve tried to keep her from doing this horrid thing. But for 8 years, she’s done this horrid thing.

The other day I caught her in the act and I was determined to stop it. So what did I do? Something I’ve done a million times before: I got a stick to poke the poo and toss it over the fence.

That’s right, I poke the poo.

The only thing is, just like a million times before, I ended up just stabbing the poop balls because they wouldn’t stay on the stick. So now we’re left with poop that’s actually easier to eat than it was before!

Yep, I’ve smashed it all up into bite size pieces. Think of a potato that’s been turned into smashed potatoes. Just add butter and she could have a decent second or third meal going here.

All in all, I guess it does help keep the yard clean, so the next time I’m mowing I don’t step in a bunch of doggy doo. Maybe this is her way of earning her keep.

Oh goodness, should be thanking her?

-Out of the Wilderness

The first Bachelor contestant, Adam

Screen Shot 2018-05-13 at 3.48.22 PM

Does anyone else’s mind wander during church sometimes? Only me? OK then! That’ll give me something to confess the next time I’m in prayer.

“God, I’m sorry for thinking about ABC’s The Bachelor and what if Adam was the contestant picking from 25 women. I know it’s weird. Thank you for loving me anyway.”

…is pretty much how that prayer would go.

Today in church there was a brief mention of Adam and Eve, and my mind ran with it. Somehow Adam became the star of The Bachelor and Eve was just one of the 25 women competing to guard and protect his heart, which leads to a flurry of questions:

Where would the other 24 women come from?

Would they all be vegetarians?

They’re already in a beautiful garden, so where’re the “exotic” dates?

Who is “there for the right reasons”?

I can see the first caravan of camels pulling up now. Adam, here are the first five women… Mary, Esther, Sarah, Ruth, and Jezebel, who simply winks and says, “Let’s do the d*mn thing.” Adam looks off to the side, “Boy, am I in trouble.” The next five arrive: Rahab, Zilpah, Ashleigh R., Ashley K., and Ashlee M. He whispers under his breath, “So many Ashley’s.” On and on it goes and maybe Eve doesn’t arrive till the final five, since the host (God) wants to save the best for last.

Adam notices Eve right off the bat so she gets the first impression rose. He feels like somehow she’s already a part of him. Get it? Ok, anyway. The first date card arrives…

Screen Shot 2018-05-13 at 3.42.09 PM

So that date will end badly. A combination of fruit, a snake, and all the contestants are banished from the paradise mansion in Eden…FOREVER!!!!! No Bachelor Pad, no Bachelor in Paradise, and dare I say not even an episode of The Women Tell All. But there is a wedding. Adam eventually picks Eve and they get married.

Years go by and many more seasons of The Bachelor, then along comes the star of the first Bachelorette season ever, Ruth! You can read her story in the Bible but I’ll say this, it includes a sizzling overnight encounter!

-Out of the Wilderness

 

Thoughts on 12 Strong – no spoilers

So have you seen 12 Strong yet? Based on a true story, the movie follows a military unit in the throes of a burgeoning war over in Afghanistan. Here’s the trailer.


Now, I don’t know exactly what scenes were based on the true story. I’m assuming a few things about what the reality was: yes, there were American soldiers. Horses, of course. And lots of sand. What else can we really be sure of, though? Like, for instance in the movie (don’t worry, no spoilers!) a few scenes are Taliban members talking to each other. Did the director of this movie really know what they said? Did he consult them for script dialogue? Maybe it went something like this…

Director on a long-distance phone call: “Hi there, I’d like to speak to the Taliban.”

[long pause, Middle Eastern music in the background, kids crying]…

Taliban: “Sup?”

Director: “Hey this is Nicolai Fuglsig, director of ’12 Strong.’ Nicolai Fuglsig. N-i-c-o– ya know, just call me Nick. Can you help me out with something? When y’all are being terrorists and stuff, what do you talk about? Is there– oh, I said ‘y’all‘…. it’s you and all but squished together…”

So they made up conversations based on what we know of the Taliban. Much easier than having to add them to the credits anyway, which would not go over well with audiences.

Overall, I really enjoyed the movie. There was even some humor so for me it hit a few of my favorite movie elements– humor, adventure, suspense, good vs. evil. It also made me really wish I was a hero who returned home to relative obscurity (because their mission was classified, the public had no idea what they’d done). Well, actually I’ve got the relative obscurity down already, so now I just need to be hero.

Hmmm…. what to do today, what…to…do.

-Out of the Wilderness

Lady Antebellum singing the National Anthem

lady aLady Antebellum had a bit of a flub singing the National Anthem on Saturday night, kicking off game 5 of the Nashville Predators 2nd round series against the Winnipeg Jets. Take a look…


But hey, it happens to the best of us, right? They still sounded great and hopefully their minor mistake will the be the worst thing that happens in Nashville tonight… meaning the Predators win to go ahead 3-2 in the series.

-Out of the Wilderness

I think I have a wasp problem

Have you ever walked out of your house and felt like you walked into a wasps nest? Well, for me, it happens at my front door, but it’s actually the opposite… I’m trying to get into the house. The other day I came back home from doing something awesome, because why else would I have left the house to begin with, ya know? So I walked up to the front door and there was a wasp floating around. He was a nuisance enough that I had to back up in a full-on retreat. And I was so close to making it inside, so close.

So there I am, standing in my yard, coming up with a strategy to get in my own house. And this time it wasn’t even because I’d forgot my keys! Note: this video below happens more than I’ll admit in writing.


I thought, “Maybe if I’m casual about it, he’ll let me by.” I walk up, no no, I stroll up to the front steps. And you know what I saw? This wasp was poised, if I can use that word here, he was poised in attack mode, and to be quite I honest, I was impressed. I was like, “Look at this little guy protecting his…well, “his” domain.” His front legs were slightly bent forward, his back legs cocked and ready to launch. I’m being all breezy and he wants to start a fight.

Every time I tried walking up to the door, even striking up a convo on the way, find some common ground  like “Hey, so you come here often?” or “Hey man, how’s your week been?” or “Can you believe the weather? Gosh it’s hot!”… but he just points his little body right towards me. And he never answered a single question. Rude. Try being a social butterfly once in a while, gee wiz.

Now anyone who knows me well knows I’m a pacifist when it comes to animals and things. I don’t want them to die, not really. Who am I to say, “You get to live. You don’t get to live,” ya know? But I found a stick and I had to beat him with it. I didn’t kill him, just sent him a message. And I was able to get by, rushing through the door before he rounded up his other wasp buddies.

I came back out about 20 minutes later, armed with wasp killing spray. Ok, yes I was a little sad about it, but I’m tired of waiting on the government to pass stricter wasp control policies. And the NRA– I mean the NWA (National Wasp Association) are millions strong! I would spray any wasp that I could… and feel bad about it later.

There’s one in the ivy, spray spray. There’s another hovering about, spray spray. Here’s one on the fence, sprayyyyyyy. This is when I realized I do have a genuine wasp problem and I might be bigger than that. The fence wasp fluttered around like a plane with one engine. He was going down. Sputter sputter and kaboom, he crash lands in the grass. You’d think that was satisfying enough, right? Nope.

I shot a wasp in Nashville, just to watch him die.

I stood over him as he crawled around haphazardly, just waiting for him to give up. So not only am I responsible for ending his life here on earth, but then to watch him suffer and die? That’s just sick. Now if I could just turn this whole thing into a country song, at least I’d have a way to pay for the therapy that I probably need for my sinister wasp behaviors!

-Out of the Wilderness