I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body

June is the month when corporations all over the world United States celebrate people’s sexuality, so I thought it would be the perfect day to reveal my true self. I could use the attention and I really want Target to put me in one of their commercials. If I’m really lucky, I’ll get my face printed on a can of A&W root beer (like my hero Dylan Mulvaney and Bud Light). Ok here it goes… I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body.

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Don’t read too much into this and definitely don’t use your white, or brown, or American, or Asian, or European, or human, privilege to decipher that being a lesbian man really just means I’m a straight dude who likes women. Only God can judge me!

For too long lesbians like me have been getting the shaft (pardon the irony). It’s happening again with the acronym we all know: LGBTQ. It’s always started with L but now 2S has been added to the front. 2SLGBTQ+. Women are always getting overlooked, huh? If you don’t know, 2S stands for two-spirit, the perfect personality for the pronouns they/them. And don’t even get me started on the straight people appropriating the word queer. 😤

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Actually, I feel bad for gay people. They’ve been around forever and now they’re just kind of boring compared to their courageous peers. Like, dude, your guy over there is a non-binary, agender, asexual, two-spirit, assigned female at birth but identifies as a they/them, shaves his head but not his pits. He has a girlfriend and a boyfriend and lives with a group of polyamorous cat-lovers… and all you are is gay?

Boring.

Get with the times, my man! You’re the true OG! Original Gay. I’m really starting to miss the good ol’ days when there were just women and men, and they were either straight or gay. Now the possibilities are limitless but as for me, I’ll just keep on being a male lesbian who likes non-lesbian females.

-Out of the Wilderness