Being Nice or Being Kind

When we’re young we’re taught to “be nice.” Santa has his “nice” list. Politeness is often associated with someone having a nice personality. Somewhere along the way, though, I realized I don’t want to be nice. I want to be kind. I think nice is more circumstantial: being nice to people who are nice back, choosing to be nice on the outside to someone who’s mean, when you really want to rage against them. And then there’s being kind. Kindness is not as much circumstantial as it is a reflection of some other decision they made in spite of circumstances. Nice is just basically having good etiquette in whatever situation you’re in. Kindness is part of who you are.

So I try to decipher which quality I see in myself when I treat people well. Am I just being nice, or am I being kind?

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But why? Why does being nice matter? Why should we care about being kind? Maybe it’s part of the nature of humans to have that ability to be kind, but why do we want to be good to others? I think it all leads back to a Creator. If there isn’t something out there bigger than ourselves, then we ought to only be looking out for ourselves. Why help someone get a leg up if it’s survival of the fittest? Why care about anyone? Why should we be kind? Well, I think it’s because God created us in His image, and He’s kind. We, I, should strive to let go of my lower self (selfishness, greed, etc) and reach for the higher self (the fruit of the Spirit type qualities).

Kindness is helping others to feel good, to be better off, and a byproduct is that we have a sense of satisfaction, a sense of purpose, being more on the selfless side of our generally selfish nature. It usually makes us feel good to be kind, whereas being nice can be very short-term. It might not even make us feel good to be nice. Kindness is a deep quality that isn’t usually affected by day-to-day events.

Just my 2 cents. I don’t want to be nice. I want to be kind.

-Out of the Wilderness