For Sale By Doner

Cleaning up the house today
I found some things of yours.
If you want them back make your way
to the following stores.

The bracelet you left, with the gold clasps
It’s at Cheap Treasures, on the discount rack.

The cute little shoes that took 4 hours to find?
Won’t take you that long this time around.
You know that store that you never liked?
Yep, they’re at Goodwill now.

The picture you loved, wearing a bikini by the shore.
I actually just gave it a homeless guy who seemed to love it so much more.

The owner said they were good enough,
Talking about your scarf and your name brand watch.
Are you comfortable seeing those things
In the 2nd Avenue Pawn Shop?

Actually check my eBay store, you might have fun bidding
On items you used to own. At least you’ll save on shipping.

Some of these things might not belong to you
But it’s hard to figure out.
What can I say? My dog loves to chew.
This old Beatles record, looks way less Beatle-y now.

Oh there’s a few things I kept, I hope you don’t mind.
Like the DVDs, your laptop, the Beatles record that’s not chewed up,
the painting that’s one of a kind,
All the stuff that was actually nice, you can have them back for the right price. 

The rest of your stuff will cost a small fee.
You can pay by check or cash.
Make checks payable to the county
then sort through everyone’s trash.

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