I have no fear of attention. Before the ceremony I’m engaging the crowd, amiable and confident. Friends and family make up the onlookers, most of which are smiling and chatty. There’s an air of excitement. I move to the back of the room to greet folks loitering outside the sanctuary doors, and I sense her presence. I know it’s not traditional to see the bride in her wedding dress before she walks down the aisle, but she’s approaching and I’m uneasy. It’s hard to explain the uncertainty, but it’s like going to the dealership to pick up your dream car, but come home in the one with the best rebate. It’s good. It has great safety ratings and you kinda… sorta… pretty much… like it. It’s almost exactly like your dream car. Almost. And here I am on my wedding day about to drive a good car off the lot. She’s almost the woman of my dreams. Almost. It’s too late to call off the wedding, a sinking feeling in my stomach. In the back, behind the formally-dressed crowd, she passes by and looks back at me. I don’t really even know her, but I accept this as my fate. How does this all play out? Your guess is as good as mine, because I woke up before we said the I do’s.
Yes, this was literally a dream. One I was relieved to wake up from, and left wondering what it means. I could speculate, just as we all could, on how it may apply to my life. Is about new beginnings or a transition in my life? Is it symbolic of fear, anxiety or bitterness? Maybe I’ll find out when I shut my eyes tonight.
-Out of the Wilderness