It was right around 8th grade and I got the bright idea to do an April Fools prank on my mom. I had thought of it days before and just knew it would work out perfectly. The morning of April 1st, it was all systems go.
Operation Daring Dairy
0900 At the most opportune time, I snuck into my parents’ room and stealthy slithered into the bathroom. Stage 1 complete.
0903 Stage 2: Find my mom’s Lubriderm lotion. Complete. Exiting the site of the future prank, I went to the kitchen. The clock was ticking, I knew I had to operate efficiently to pull this off.
0906 Unscrewing the top of the lotion bottle, I emptied the contents into a bowl, replacing it with your ordinary skim milk. Complete. I then restored the bottle to it’s original location and waited.
0912 I was so proud and couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when she realized it was milk and not lotion!
It all worked perfectly! She squeezed the bottle and to her surprise, skim milk came pouring out. Everyone knows milk has no exfoliating qualities, so the joke was on her!
Operation Lactose Invisible
1209 I didn’t see this coming at all but after my little prank, my mom had a trick up her sleeve, too. It was a few hours later when lunch time came around. It must’ve been a Saturday because I wasn’t at school. My mom asked what I’d like for lunch and like anyone who loves cheese, I requested a grilled cheese sandwich. I could just taste the melted cheese, the toasted bread, the glass of milk to wash it all down! It was going to be glorious.
1220 She called me to the kitchen when lunch was ready so I sat down to eat, stomach growling I’m sure.
1224 Biting into my favorite sandwich, I thought, “Something’s wrong here.”
1224 I looked to the sandwich for some answers and discovered there was a key ingredient missing! THE CHEESE!!
She totally got me! That was a good one, Mrs. Wilder. I love my mom for her willingness to play along with her kids!
Happy April Fools Day, may your grilled cheeses be warm and cheesy,
-Out of the Wilderness