The other day I ran into a friend of mine, one who could easily be considered a “Talkative Tim,” a “Chatty Cathy,” a “Wordy Wade.” If talking were in the Olympics, this guy would stand triumphant as a gold medalist…and he’d be talking to the silver medal winner next to him about how sturdy the podium is, why Kroger receipts upset him, or what Ryan Seacrest is up to these days, or if there’s time, all three of those topics.
For the sake of anonymity, let’s say I encountered my friend at the gym. The first time was fine. I get it, we’re both at the gym, we haven’t seen each other in a few weeks. OK, let’s talk about stuff. Eventually I was able to escape and get on with my agenda. Same time the next day, there he is again. The conversation somehow begins before I even knew it and there I am again, an introvert struggling to act interested in a story this guy would tell to a pole if it stayed in one place long enough. And poles usually stay in one place a long time, that’s what they do. But I’m not a pole, at this point I want to be in any other place! I know there are courteous ways of ending conversations so I do my best.
Well, that’s great, nice seeing you.
Well, let me know how that goes.
Have a good workout.
What’s that over there? *Run away when he turns to look*
This guy must be a pro because he blows through my “goodbye” signals like a Lambo on a straight road. Day 3 the same thing again. But this time, just like they did in The Cutting Edge, I can only think of one thing that’ll work. A last ditch effort. This is my Pamchenko moment. I slowly move away as we’re talking. Just the right combination of proximity (less of it) and a final thought might do the trick! I’m literally taking steps away from this two-some. Five feet. Ten feet. I’m now 20 feet away and think I’m in the clear. Phew, that was exhausting! Wait, what’s this? I’m a calf awkwardly hopping around because my feet are tied up. This “Conversation Cowboy” somehow roped me back in! I was 20 feet away!!!!!!! Dang, he’s good.
Have you ever had experiences like this? If you have any funny stories or successful exit strategies, tell me about it in the comments below!
-Out of the Wilderness