There’s no wasting of toilet paper these days. I can see it now after a rascally teenager comes home to discover he’s been caught tp’ing someone’s house.
Dad: Son, I didn’t raise you like this.
Son: But… it’s just a prank.
Dad: SON! TOILET PAPER DOESN’T GROW ON TREES.
Son: Isn’t the phrase “Money doesn’t grow on trees?”
Dad: Tomayto Tomahto, son. Also, you’re grounded. Now go get that toilet paper, your mother’s stuck on the john.
-Out of the Wilderness