The Poorly Written “Seven Minutes In Heaven” by Reba McEntire

I don’t like being a sourpuss (that’s debatable, actually), maybe I’d be better described as a realist? At the same time I try to nourish the generous, encouraging side of my personality but then I come across a song from the legend Reba McEntire. She is very cool. An icon who sits in the rare company of musical artists and entertainers who can be immediately known by just one name. Reba. Garth. Cher. Elvis. Taylor.

But the dark side of me comes out when I hear Reba’s latest song called “Seven Minutes In Heaven.” Obviously, it’s a play off the phrase describing the teenage game where you go in a closet with someone and do who knows what for 7 minutes. Reba’s twist on the title gives it a much more meaningful purpose. Check it out then scroll down for a short rant.

---

What isn’t jiving with me is not Reba. It’s not her performance. It’s not the video, although it’s pretty boring. All that is fine and good. The lyrics, though, oh my goodness they touched on my last nerve with the poor grammar and conflicting sentences. How do lyrics like this make it past even the first revision? Here’s the first one that had me fit to be tied:

I wouldn’t spend all my seconds askin’ God questions ‘Cause He knows I’d be back soon.

The point of view is inconsistent. It would make more sense to say “I won’t ask questions because I know I’ll be back soon.” How does what God knows about the future have any bearing on what you ask in the moment? Case in point: You don’t know you’ll be back soon so you should ask things you want to know right then and there.

How it’s written is like the buyer not asking a car salesman which colors they have on the lot because the salesman knows the buyer will be back later. Huh?

---

The last chorus had me madder than a puffed toad. It’s set up the same way. With seven minutes in Heaven, I’d hang with you. OK, fine. Cool. But then it goes on to say…

But I might take a few seconds to ask God some questions I didn’t last time I was through.
If I had seven minutes in Heaven I’d spend them all with you.

So are you spending all your time with this person or not? Get your story straight, Jack! If I could sum these lyrics up with a word, it would be this: Inconsistent. And now I’m all horns and rattles.

-Out of the Wilderness