If you want to be more isolated than ever before, Apple’s introducing the Vision Pro (available Jan. 19th). Your apps, movies, Facetimes, all in one place plus the ability to record movies and take pictures in a 3D space. But wait there’s more! Not only can you be secluded in your cocoon, you can also be broke. That’s right… for a low, low price of $3,500 you can take ignoring people to a whole new level. Or you can be like this dad who I’m sure didn’t embarrass his daughters at all by wearing the headset in a public park. Great video recording dad!
Basically, imagine your phone taped to your face (because the only thing better than staring at our phones all day is having them EVEN CLOSER TO OUR EYE BALLS!). Here’s the new commercial bound to become an SNL skit soon…
The Music. The song in the commercial is “Uncontrollable Urge” by Devo from 2006. This commercial makes me have an uncontrollable urge to watch a Vision Pro headset get smashed in one of those compactors that smooshes cars into small little cubes. Know what I’m talking about?
Here’s the full track…
Gettin’ Frosty. I want to change the great line from How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days– “Women of New York, frost yourselves!” where the lady on the street yells back, “Hey, frost this!”– to “People of the world, isolate yourselves!” Then someone yells back, “Isolate this!” This commercial has me feeling all frosty and not in the way Matthew McConaughey suggests in the movie.
I can think of so many other things I’d do with $3,500. First on the list would be a new Trek road bike. I love the one I have but if we’re just throwing money around, why not get something less dumb than a Vision Pro, ya know?
Unless you want to look like this woman.
That’s right. When your roommate or family wants to talk to you, you don’t even have to take the headset off for them to see how annoyed you are. It’s like wearing headphones on a plane to avoid talking to people, but it’s on your face. Spoiler alert, people are going to talk to you anyway.
The only thing I’ll be putting on my face anytime soon are my Blenders Rainwalker© shades, thankuverymuch.
-Out of the Wilderness
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Out of the Wilderness 