Being ghosted. Green tea at room temperature. Hang nails. I’ll take irritating things for $500, Alex! The Daily Double in today’s Jeopardy game goes something like this: She did this because shoving needles under your fingernails was too nice. In Jeopardy fashion, the answer is: Why is Ellie Kemper whispering in the new Kohl’s commercials?
If you want to pump me for information, just threaten me with more Kohl’s Mom commercials and I’ll tell you anything you want to know. I might’ve even spilt the beans about Operation Midnight Hammer–not that I knew anything about it… allegedly– just to avoid what Kohl’s officially calls loveable and infectious. But they got one thing right, I guess. These ads make me sick like I have an infection. It’s a shame, too, because actress Ellie Kemper is usually pretty endearing. Her roles in “The Office” and “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” were great. But these Kohl’s commercials need to be waterboarded till they beg for mercy. They aren’t funny. That’s another thing Kohl’s corporate claimed in their press release:
She is a stylish sidekick with a bag of tricks for getting the best deals at Kohl’s and offers practical solutions and humor to help shoppers find outfits for all of life’s moments, from weddings to work and everyday events.
Humor? I beg to differ. Just off the top of my head I can think of 3 things that are more funny than any Kohl’s Mom commercial.
A regretful, politically correct Amy Poehler.
A home video of your weird uncle (Yes, yours. My uncles are cool!) at Christmas.
A horror movie where everyone makes the right decisions and easily escape.
Kohl’s, do the right thing. File these under “Welp, we tried,” and come up with a new campaign. Please!
-Out of the Wilderness
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Out of the Wilderness 
Totally agree! She is more annoying than chiggers in your butt crack! Please go away!
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😂
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