Tornadoes bring wind. Blizzards bring snow. And haboobs bring dust. Everyone knows that! Wait, you didn’t know that? OK, I didn’t either. I’ve heard of tornadoes, blizzards, hurricanes, typhoons, but where the heck did haboob come from!? Don’t worry, we’re not alone in our ignorance. For one thing, every time I type haboob it changes to kabob so clearly autocorrect is racist. Why does it have single out Middle Eastern dinner dishes, hmm? Dictionary.com says these storms are usually in Africa, anyway. So does that make the one in Arizona an African-American storm? It’s causing destruction and damage (but it’s mostly peaceful!) so somewhere Democrats are leaving pallets of bricks and hoping the storm will vote for them next election season.
“If you don’t know if you’re voting for me or Donald Trump, you ain’t a haboob.”
-Joe Biden (2020)
At the time of this posting, “haboob” is the second most searched Google term, ahead of things like the “2028 Olympics” and “Love Island.” Take that, Ariana. The top search is “North West”–the daughter of Kim and Kanye, not the direction–that is, until news spreads that Taylor Swift is engaged to Travis Kelce. Google might actually burst into flames with how many searches are going to come in for that.
But back to haboobs… the pictures in Phoenix today look like something from a Mad Max movie. Crazy stuff. I guess I can add haboob to things I never want to see, right beside another bad hurricane, Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez in the White House, any episode of “Love Island,” and the amount of coverage dedicated to the Taylor and Travis engagement during this entire upcoming football season.
-Out of the Wilderness
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