Washington, DC — In the wake of a possible travel ban to and from Florida, President Joe Biden has doubled-down in his latest executive order. Putting pen to paper just a few days ago, Biden’s latest tyrannical act of unity affords him the power to draw a chalk circle around the former President then officially banning everyone from traveling to or from the circle.
“It’s something the President needs– the former President– needs to know, that I have the chalk and I’m on my way.” said Biden about the surprising EO. When asked if he was using a heavy-duty sidewalk chalk, Biden responded, “Chicken nuggets.”
He was then whisked away by staff and White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki took to the podium to absolutely not clear anything up for reporters in the room.
Using state of the art technology provided and funded by elite private donors (definitely not Google, Facebook, Amazon, and Twitter), Trump was tracked down by a 19-mask-wearing Joe Biden and his chalk. To avoid making a scene in the upscale Florida restaurant where Trump was dining, Biden sat in a nearby chair, only breaking his glare towards Donald to sniff other restaurant patron’s hair.
At the moment Trump exited the building, Biden ambled out the door and proceeded to hastily mark a line around his predecessor. Exhausted, though, he wasn’t able to complete the entire circle. Trump took the opportunity to step out of the circle and, in an unprecedented move, whipped out chalk of his own and completed the circle with Biden inside.
It’s been three days with Biden stuck inside the chalk circle. Democrats blame the entire event on white supremacy and are rumored to be drawing up documents for a third Trump impeachment.