Second-by-Second Review of “Friday” by Rebecca Black

This is what music has come to, readers. Enjoy! Scroll down past the video to get my thoughts and synopsis of this song.

0:00 starts with a desk calendar featuring almost-familiar quotes for each weekday. Pencil video effect, nice touch.
0:03 I know watching this is a gigantic mistake.
0:11 clicked on the X to close annoying Mazda advertisement at the bottom of the screen.
0:12 the music video starts at midnight according to her clock. Hey Rebecca, 1993 called and they want their clock back.
0:30 so many words have been said. None have rhymed.
0:33 four friends show up in a convertible. Sweet. Now she can arrive at school in style.
0:36 slow motion waving. Slow motion peace sign.
0:42 she asks which seat she can take. Well, there’s 4 people and 5 seats. Can anyone say, backseat middle bump?
0:47 average looking friends “getting down” to chorus of song.
0:56 Ten and two, young man, ten and two.
1:00 backseat boy taps hand on car’s side, clearly off beat.
1:06 fun, fun, fun, fun. Wow, lots of fun.
1:08 sorta wishing I clicked on that Mazda ad.
1:10 evidently we don’t get to see the “fun” at school. Or what she ate for dinner. It’s already 7:45 and their unsafely driving around town with NO SEATBELTS ON! Billy Ray Cyrus would be proud.
1:10 car tires clearly not moving.
1:12 car dancing. I love car dancing. It’s almost as fun as car eating or car talking on the phone.
1:17 sprinkler dance: fail.
1:21 pink dress girl gets a shout out. “my friend is on my right.” Sorry other 3 girls in car. Maybe you’ll get a credit in her album liners.
1:24 car tires. Still not moving.
1:32 is she about to cry?
1:35 she still doesn’t know which seat to take. Listen, you’re already in the middle, just accept it and move on.
1:38 party time. Rebecca nearly clips friend when opening car door.
1:43 evidence for why there were at least 3 cars still there the next morning. This is not the year 3000! Headlights don’t turn themselves off, dorkwads.
1:47 is she getting more nasally? Is that possible?
1:51 pizza has arrived, party is moving indoors.
2:02 my favorite dance move she does: hands out, palms facing forward. Slight knee bend and lurch forward. Love it.
2:05 back to desk calendar and pencil video effect.
2:13 throughout the whole song I noticed her stellar grammar. Then this? How dare you, Rebecca. BTW, dropping the word “are” doesn’t make you street, Becc-dog! It doesn’t make you street. *sniff*
2:23 who knew learning the days of the week could be so educational and at the same time, so entertaining?
2:30 what is happening? Who is this?
2:41 why does seeing a school bus excite him?
2:46 can’t he sell drugs on weekdays, too?
2:49 evidently the party never went indoors like they led us to believe. Hollywood, uuuggghhhh.
2:58 poor tree. How long must it endure this song being replayed while shooting this video with no real way to retaliate? I miss the Lord of the Ring trees. They were awesome and they would’ve made things right.
3:10 ask the tree if it’s having “fun, fun, fun, fun.”
3:23 he must’ve caught up to the bus, he looks happy.
3:33 is it too late to click on the Mazda advertisement?
3:42 deep breaths. Deep breaths. How can I make up these 4 minutes? And the 30 minutes I spent writing this? UUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHH