In Case of Rapture, This Car Will Be Unmanned

I was driving back from my cousin’s wedding. A comfortable ride, the radio playing my favorite songs, the sun rising to my right, the dogs asleep. It’s the time of year where you can leave the A/C off, just open the vents and let the cool air fill the car up. The cruise control was set at 77 and I was doing just that, cruising.
I must love my dogs because I kept thinking about what would happen in case of rapture. My car would still be cruising at 77 and I know my dogs are smart, but there’s no possible way they’d wake up in time to gain control of the car and bring it to a safe and harmless stop! So maybe I’ll come up with a new bumper sticker that says, “In case of rapture, hit this button.” Oh yeah, I’d put the bumper sticker inside so the dogs could see it, and oh yeah, I’d have a button installed that automatically pops out 3 red turtle shells to orbit around the car like on Mario Kart, and oh yeah, I would’ve already taught my dogs to press buttons, you know, with any available paw. No one knows when the rapture will happen, so I guess for now, me and my dogs will just cruise.


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