Orlando, FL — The grown son Joe Biden never talks about is seeking an unprecedented action due to his never being talked about by is father. “This is a case the likes of which we’ve never seen before,” said Orlando judge, Gregory Tullman Hess. He’s, of course, referring to the case of The Son Joe Never Talks About v. The Dad Who Never Talks About Him. The filing was made public earlier this month in Orlando, Florida, which might appear odd but makes sense in the official statement. We managed to get a copy, which partially reads:
“…I’ve done my best to make my father, the Big Guy, proud, but it just seems like a lost cause. I set up deals with foreign businesses for him, I send cards on Father’s Day, I even went out of my way when his daughter-in-law was hurting and needed a shoulder to cry on. But he doesn’t treat me like family. Therefore, this letter is my formal appeal to be adopted by Olive Garden Italian Kitchen Restaurants, who has stated many times that ‘we’re all family here.'”
The Son Joe Never Talks About is seeking first to divorce his parents, then subsequently an adoption by the Olive Garden corporation. Sources close to the The Son Joe Never Talks About said he first became curious when OG’s slogan was, “When you’re here, you’re family.” He had tears rolling down his face, allegedly, and spoke of the kindness the restaurant owners and managers must have in their hearts.
We reached out to Joe, and have yet to receive a response. However, we did get an “out of office of the President-Elect” that stated Joe was preparing for his new seat in the Senate and in the case of an emergency, could be reached by dialing Joe30330.
The Son Joe Never Talks About is hoping that Olive Garden is still offering never-ending breadsticks, and never-ending hugs.
-Out of the Wilderness