I STILL haven’t seen an alligator

In LeBron James style, I took my talents to north Florida late last year. I get that it was cooler and all, but over 4 months and I haven’t even seen ONE alligator. I guess that’s a blessing, actually. But still, after visiting a handful of state parks over the last couple of months, I thought I’d at least see one or two lying on a bank to warm themselves with the sun. But noooOOooOOoo. I mean, it’s not like I want to see one up close. I had vivid dreams as a child of one of these creatures chasing me. Even as an adult, alligators are pretty darn scary to me, especially since I sometimes have two 30-pound companions trotting around with me outside.

Like the Jonas Brothers ask, whatta man gotta do? I just want to see an alligator from a safe distance. Is that too much to ask? Until then, I guess I’ll have to be content seeing all sorts of birds, squirrels, dogs, and… oh yeah, humans.

-Out of the Wilderness