The festival that became famous for its lousy, embarrassing failure is allegedly back for round 2. This time they’ll have pb&j sandwiches instead of ham and cheese, get your tickets now! But seriously, I *did* put my name on the waiting list, because apparently it’s already sold out at $500/ticket, hmmmm OK that’s believable. It’s so believable that I’ve put together a list of 10 things that are even more believable than Fyre Festival 2 ever happening. Here we go!
10. The health benefits of Spam.
9. Life Insurance Agent of the Year, Hillary Clinton.
8. Hiring David Duke as your Diversity, Equity, Inclusion (DEI) supervisor.
7. A man dating a transwoman but says he’s not gay.
6. Calling Mariah Carey the Queen of Christmas (when we all know it’s Darlene Love).
5. Barack Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize.
4. Men love women wearing high-waisted jeans.
3. The United States’ noble involvement in the Ukraine/Russia war.
2. Going on a reality show and finding true love.
1. Being adopted by the Tuohys.
Bonus: A vegan thinking it’s OK that you’re not vegan.
-Out of the Wilderness
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