The Accountant and Why Am I So Stubborn?

I’m sure it’s just a family trait passed down to me from generations prior but sometimes (a lot of times) I dig my feet in. It could be food or routines or, in this case, a movie. It’s been nearly 9 years since The Accountant was released and I just watched it for the first time last week. I split it up into two nights because who can watch a two-hour movie in one sitting, right?

I need my beauty sleep… even if I wake up dozens of times in the night– a topic for another post. My brother-in-law finally convinced me to give The Accountant a try because he wants to watch The Accountant 2 and now I do, too. I’ve discovered I don’t like psychological movies and forever (since 2016, at least) I thought The Accountant was that. I for sure don’t like movies about math! Is the climax going to be Christian Wolff successfully saving an Excel file? Oh wow, the entertainment there would be off the charts. OK, that’s my only accounting joke. I like action, I like romance, I like humor. All of that was well-executed (which is more than I can say for another recent watch: Another Simple Favor which, as I write here, was simply terrible).

I won’t be so stubborn this time around because I want to see what happens next with Christian Wolff– an awesome character with a lot of layers to peel back. If you’ve seen The Accountant 2, what do I have to look forward to? My stubborn personality could learn a lesson from all of this. Some things are worth checking out, even if it’s against my nature.

-Out of the Wilderness

Bernie Sanders is a Dolt

With all due respect, Bernie Sanders is a dolt. Did you catch the dramatic moment he found out the military strike in Iran was an American success? Bless his heart. Here’s the video, which he posted on his own YouTube channel, as if it’s a moment he should be proud of…

Just when you think Democrats might turn the corner, maybe they’ll stop embarrassing themselves on national TV, they go and do something like this. He’s literally behind a sign that says “Fight Oligarchy” and when Trump commands a strike on a country run by an oligarchy, Bernie is almost moved to tears… ON BEHALF OF THE OLIGARCHY COUNTRY. He’s punking us, isn’t he? Where’s Ashton Kutcher? I swear if Ashton jumps out and reveals that Bernie was just fooling around, someone’s head is getting dunked in the toilet, swirlie style!

Poor old Bernie. He’s like the last kid to get picked for kickball. Republicans don’t want him. Democrats don’t want him. But he just hangs around because he’s got nowhere else to go. He’s been in government for 218 years, like that kickball kid who grew up but keeps failing 10th grade.

I can’t decide if he needs a hug and a Werther’s Original or someone to tell him it’s time to pack up his bingo card and go home. Either way, Bernie, AOC, most Washington politicians and few Dems I know personally are part of the reason I cancelled my streaming services. Why pay for comedies when I get them for free?

I could go on about the irony of most Democrat talking points, but I’ll just sum it up the way Bernie did for the rest of Trump’s announcement… “et cetera.”

-Out of the Wilderness

Why is she whispering in these Kohl’s Commercials?

Being ghosted. Green tea at room temperature. Hang nails. I’ll take irritating things for $500, Alex! The Daily Double in today’s Jeopardy game goes something like this: She did this because shoving needles under your fingernails was too nice. In Jeopardy fashion, the answer is: Why is Ellie Kemper whispering in the new Kohl’s commercials?

If you want to pump me for information, just threaten me with more Kohl’s Mom commercials and I’ll tell you anything you want to know. I might’ve even spilt the beans about Operation Midnight Hammer–not that I knew anything about it… allegedly– just to avoid what Kohl’s officially calls loveable and infectious. But they got one thing right, I guess. These ads make me sick like I have an infection. It’s a shame, too, because actress Ellie Kemper is usually pretty endearing. Her roles in “The Office” and “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” were great. But these Kohl’s commercials need to be waterboarded till they beg for mercy. They aren’t funny. That’s another thing Kohl’s corporate claimed in their press release:

She is a stylish sidekick with a bag of tricks for getting the best deals at Kohl’s and offers practical solutions and humor to help shoppers find outfits for all of life’s moments, from weddings to work and everyday events.

Humor? I beg to differ. Just off the top of my head I can think of 3 things that are more funny than any Kohl’s Mom commercial.

A regretful, politically correct Amy Poehler.

A home video of your weird uncle (Yes, yours. My uncles are cool!) at Christmas.

A horror movie where everyone makes the right decisions and easily escape.

Kohl’s, do the right thing. File these under “Welp, we tried,” and come up with a new campaign. Please!

-Out of the Wilderness

Benson Boone in Mr. Electric Blue and Is Moonbeam Ice Cream Really Real??

There’s no such thing as Moonbeam Ice Cream, I promise! I researched it when I posted this about Benson Boone’s music video “Mystical Magical.” However, and I hope you’re sitting down for this, THERE’S A MOONBEAM ICE CREAM COOKIE. No lie. Go to your nearest Crumbl cookie shop this week for the cookie version of Moonbeam Ice Cream.

He’s really running with the Moonbeam Ice Cream thing as it makes an appearance in his latest music video for “Mr. Electric Blue.” I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… I don’t know if anyone’s having more fun in the music industry than Benson Boone… or is it Benson Bone? Check out the self-deprecating music video below, directed by Matt Eastin.

Benson seems to have all the ingredients for a great career and this week he’s inspired the ingredients of a great cookie. See what I did there? That’s a call-back to the Crumbl cookie offer. Hmm, something tells me we’re going to see Moonbeam Ice Cream on the freezer aisle before it’s all said and done.

-Out of the Wilderness

Accidentally Out of Triathlons

This has been a weird year and it’s almost halfway over already. Truly, I can hardly believe we’re nearing the end of June and guess what I haven’t done this year? I’ll give you a hint…

Still need another hint? OK, I’ll use my fancy pants new Samsung phone to create another AI image…

I can’t give you a third hint because, well, then it’ll just be too easy for you. Plus, it’s in the title you goofball! We’re six months into 2025 and I haven’t done one triathlon.

It’s not totally my fault, though. Weather is also to blame. For one thing, winter. That’s why my first race this year was a duathlon (run/bike/run). Water temperature, even in Florida, can get really cold in the winter so a lot of races exclude swimming. If you ever want to participate in a winter triathlon, you’ll often see duathlons instead of triathlons.

And then… and then there was the storm clouds. Radar wasn’t looking good but I drove the two-hour trip to my first triathlon of the year only to have it cancelled 5 minutes before arrival. Seriously. Other friends of mine have had races cancelled, even 70.3 half Ironmans. So it’s going around like a flu. But I’m still training as if I have a race coming up soon… which is sort of true. Next race on the calendar is early July so I’m hoping to complete my first tri of the year with only 5 months left in the year. 🥴

-Out of the Wilderness