Who is Noah Cyrus?

Shazaaaaam!!! Not to be confused with Kazaam starring Shaq O’Neil, I use the Shazam app on my phone when I hear a song and either don’t know the name, or can’t remember. By the way, when is Spotify going to buy Shazam? Wouldn’t that be nice? The new app would identify the song and then ask if you want to add it to your library. Talk about luxury! This is American, right? Make it happen Daniel Ek!

I’m laughing at a joke that I don’t get.

So this song comes on, kinda sounded like Miley Cyrus, and I kinda liked it. I opened up Shazam and was like, “Please don’t be Miley, please don’t be Miley…” because for some reason I don’t want to like her songs. Then I’m notified in a few seconds that it’s Noah Cyrus singing “Stay Together.” I thought to myself, “Does this dude know he sounds like a girl? Must be Miley’s younger brother or something.”

Oh dang, Noah Cyrus is a girl! Turns out she’s the little sister of Hannah Montana and Achy Breaky Heart’s daughter. I suppose Noah can be a girls name.

noah

image via Perez Hilton

Anyway, she and I are both Capricorns so I’m predicting that will be the only thing I like about her. This song has lyrics about drinking, smoking, partying, etc., I can’t relate there. A pastor here in Nashville says when he went in church as a youngster, Southern Baptists would get together not to brag about what they did that week, but about what they didn’t do. #SouthernBaptistlife I do like her dad, though. Say what you want about Billy Ray (or is he just “Cyrus” now?), but I believe he’s got a kind heart based on some interactions I had with him back when I was working at CMT.

I guess Noah’s the next Cyrus up. Her video for “Stay Together” has been on YouTube for a month and already has over 25 million views. Where are all these people and why aren’t they watching my videos?? I’d be fine if even half that number viewed this video of mine.

Noah’s also using the hashtag #nc17 which is clever (because it’s her initials and her age), and also concerning because of what NC-17 means in MPAA movie ratings. Plus in the video she writes 7 the annoying way. You know what I’m talking about.

So the takeaway from this is…

  1. Noah Cyrus is a girl
  2. Billy Ray might or might not just be “Cyrus” now
  3. I spent more than 1 hour on a Thursday afternoon writing about Miley’s sister, and I kinda feel shameful -Out of the Wilderness

 

 

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