Richfield, MN — Geek Squad, a subsidiary of Best Buy, has raised the bar on computer repair service confidentiality. Targeted towards cheating spouses, disgruntled employees, and former Presidential nominees, the tech company recently unveiled a new high-profile privacy service in cases where data or equipment containing sensitive material might compromise the integrity of a relationship, whether it be with a spouse, a boss, or an entire nation of voters.
Their website offers an example of when this service might benefit the customer: In a completely hypothetical situation where a laptop of a prominent figure is dropped off for repair, this new 5-point level of security would include:
- “Accidentally” forgetting to ask for signature of customer dropping item(s) off
- Not releasing any emails/photos/documents that could damage the image of anyone, anywhere, at any time
- Removing TikTok from all government devices, upon request
- Bleaching hard drives, upon request
- In the event a laptop or computer is under investigation, tech agents will clumsily knock over a cup of coffee onto the keyboard, making sure it gets in between all the keys
Geek Squad’s slogan for this service piggybacks on a well-known catchphrase from the late 1990s.