Hello! Every once in a while I have these personal and possibly life-changing thoughts and I can’t not share them. This is one of those thoughts.
I was thinking the other day about a woman I dated many years ago. Our relationship was somewhat rocky, if I’m being honest, but when it was good it was real good. I always wondered how I’d feel when I found out she was engaged, and in fact, I never found that out. What I DID find out is that she has been married for a few years. I wasn’t as hurt as I thought I might be. In fact, I was happy.
At least for a month or two.
Then I started to have the nagging feeling that maybe she married the wrong guy. Could it be that I was the right guy for her, but because of my immaturity I left the door open for her to marry a guy that is good, but not great?
Well, the other day I realized something that is even more radical and a lot less arrogant-sounding, and it’s this:
I’m going to be married one day. How harmful would it be for any woman I date or become engaged to learn that I think I was the right guy for someone else. That would mean this woman is the wrong one for me. I envision that relationship ending very quickly, as it should! Who would stay with someone who believes someone else is the right one?
So this really crazy, yet simple idea was good for me. It’s like this message was delivered from a therapist even though I don’t go to therapy. Maybe it was a free session from the Lord, I don’t know. The idea that I would be in a relationship, still thinking an ex is with the wrong guy, thereby implying the woman I’m with must be wrong because I’m the right guy for someone else. Gosh, that would just be terrible.
I’ve graduated up to the idea that whoever I marry will be the right one. This means my ex was right all along! Just not for me. She actually married the right guy. What a relief!
Has this happened to you? Do you think an ex ended up with the wrong partner? What is there to learn from this?
Comment below, I look forward to hearing about your story.
-Out of the Wilderness
3 thoughts on “She married the right guy”
I have wondered if I was the “right” person for someone before, but never considered that two people can be at a disconnect on whether or not they are right for each other. I once dated someone for several years and one day realized that we just were not right for each other. I haven’t spoken to him in years but he does reach out occasionally and say things like “We are meant to be” or “We should be married”.
Sometimes, when I look back at our relationship I realize that there were good times, but a lot more bad times. I am able to objectively look back at our relationship now which is helpful. I know for sure we are right for someone, just not each other. Though, if you asked him; he would probably disagree. Relationships are weird, but you learn so much through the people you interact intimately with.
I don’t know what I am talking about half the time though, or if this was even relevant at all. haha
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It makes sense! Hindsight often shows much more than can be seen during the relationship. Maybe everyone is right for someone but not necessarily the people they are in a relationship with haha
Also, thanks for your thoughts. It means a lot!