0.0

It was sometime around 5th grade. Our class was assigned the task of orbiting around the school track for the entire P.E. class. It was going fine until classmate Justin Barger cut through the field so he wouldn’t have to do as many laps as the rest of us. This is my first memory of someone cheating and I can still recall the feeling I had when it happened. I didn’t know him at the time and we actually became friends later on but when I saw him do this, I was filled with anger. Now, many years later, I identify that moment as the first example of how much I hate cheating and despise laziness.

This familiar feeling bubbles up now and then and I won’t even get into how often it happens on the roadways. Wait, maybe any rage I feel on the road is just an extension of this absolute disgust for lazy cheaters. Aren’t most annoying drivers who speed, cut in front, or disregard the rules just guilty of being lazy or cheating? I think I’m making a personal breakthrough here.

Actually, the point of this post is related to cars and the silly stickers people put on their bumper or windows. We’ve all seen the ones announcing that the driver has completed a marathon or half marathon…

But have you seen the ones that boast about the exact opposite? Instead of 26.2 or 13.1, in bold fonts it reads…

Upon seeing one of these for the first time, that familiar feeling rose up within me. Someone thinks it’s funny to boast about their laziness, running 0.0 miles? Oh, this sticker was automatically bumped up to the top spot in things I hate the most! Well, at the very least it’s tied with flying roaches.

But after a little digging, my rigid hostility towards the sticker and those who use them has softened a bit. It *could be* that the person with the sticker on their car is not lazy, they just enjoy a good laugh. Maybe they like being active but running isn’t their thing. They might be a fantastic swimmer, a strong weightlifter, or they’re really into hiking or kayaking. It could be any number of activities they enjoy but running (especially a half or full marathon) isn’t it. I guess I can understand that mindset, especially because I appreciate laughter and folks’ attempt to brighten other people’s day with something that could make them smile.

I came across an enjoyable article about the 0.0 stickers. Check it out here if you have a second. It’ll help paint a picture of the thoughts behind the stickers that aren’t as cynical or confrontational as mine. Speaking of my thoughts, I share them every day here at Out of the Wildernesss, posting faithfully at 1pm central. If you’d like to get notified of new posts, sign up with your email for a daily reminder…

-Out of the Wilderness

Interval Running Before Sunrise: Dedication Or Insanity?

Yes. The answer is yes. You have to be a little bit crazy and a lot bit dedicated to lace up your running shoes before the sun is even up past the horizon. Hello there! My name is Ben and I have a lot of affection for triathlons. Am I insane yet? I don’t know. Triathlons, of course, are races that include three disciplines: Swimming (splash, splash), Cycling (vroom, vroom), and Running (boing, boing).

Triathlons, just like any sport, require dedication (or insanity?). Some might call it an addiction and my personal definition of that word came about many years ago when I lived in a four-season state. Winter was bearing down on the city and even in single digit temperatures, a few co-workers still went outside to smoke. This is when I realized that if you go outside in freezing weather to do something, you’re an addict. And it’s not a wholly bad thing. Your addiction could be shooting hoops, shopping, walking the dogs, or any other thing you’d do even in sub-freezing temperatures (or if you’re in Florida, 139° weather).

Here’s an example of insane (or dedicated?) athletes: Waking up when it’s still dark outside from the night before to meet other crazies at a local track to run intervals! I’ll admit I’ve done this twice but…. I can quit whenever I want….

I don’t need an intervention… yet. I’m pretty addicted to triathlons and because of that, I do things I don’t want to do. One of those things was getting out of a perfectly comfortable bed to try this interval running for the second time. As I moseyed around getting my stuff ready, I was secretly thinking of ways I could back out.

No one even knows I’m going so they won’t know if I don’t go.

This isn’t even a race, it’s just practice.

I can run later in the day on my own.

I was already up and there’s some accountability with the triathlon group I’m in (because they have such an inspiring amount of dedication (or is it that they’re all insane?)) so I went to the track and I’m glad I did. Performance aside, I was so encouraged by the leaders and runners and that’s a lesson in itself. By placing yourself in the presence of like-minded people who are pursuing goals within the sport, some of their passion, skills, and insight rubs off on you. Or maybe some of your excitement and knowledge rubs off on them.

There are two benefits of doing things we don’t like. One, health and wellness. We get a good day’s workout in. But there are the races, too. Competing with peers and/or getting demolished by people half or twice our age is part of the whole amazing experience and a race is the way to celebrate all the training. Like a gallery showing for a painter. A World Series game for a baseball player. Dinner for a passionate chef.

And just like a beautiful painting, a baseball game, a dinner… there will be another triathlon race where you can challenge yourself again to find out how you’ve improved as a swimmer (less splash, splash), cyclist (stronger vroom, vroom), and runner (quicker boing, boing).

-Out of the Wilderness

The Best Bitter Breakup Ballads – June 2024

If you love love, then chances are you’ve experienced a break-up or two and if you haven’t, try to keep that streak alive. That song from the 1960s is a song for a reason… breaking up is hard to do. Sometimes it’s not just hard, it’s hardening. As in, it hardens your heart a little and might even make you cynical about relationships altogether! I remember a relationship “my friend” was in and when it ended, one person said to the other:

“Let me know when you’re less bipolar.”

Not the best choice of words and obviously the (self-diagnosed) bipolar person laughed. Then hit the other with a baseball bat. 🥴

The inspiration for this list of bitter breakup ballads (they’re not all ballads but who could resist such a chance for alliteration!?) is a song that is sure to be one of the all-time greats of this genre. It’s by a songwriter named Jensen McRae and the song is called “God Has A Hitman.” If you haven’t heard it yet and you’re one of those people who’ve been through a hard breakup (and you’re bipolarness is behaving today (sorry, I need forgiveness for that comment too, huh?)), “God Has A Hitman” might definitely stab you right in the heart in a good way. But dood, be cool. Don’t let your crazy side make you do crazy things to get back at an ex after listening to this compilation of great bitter breakup songs. Mmk? Comment below with songs you’d add…

“God Has A Hitman” Jensen McRae

“Jar of Hearts” Christina Perri

“Guiding Light” Muse

“Gives You Hell” The All-American Rejects

“She Hates Me” Puddle Of Mudd

“We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” Taylor Swift

“Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong” Spin Doctors

“The Comedians” Roy Orbison (Not exactly bitter but the main character WILL be bitter after what the woman does to him, plus it’s Roy Orbison, I gotta include him!)

-Out of the Wilderness

Tesla Cybertruck vs. Honda Ridgeline

Just yesterday it dawned on me where I’ve seen the Tesla Cybertruck before. In the last few weeks the Cybertruck has been popping up around town. They’re a spacey gray color except for that one black truck I saw at an intersection… and yes, black is better, even if my picture of it is terrible.

But these recent sightings finally connected to something in my brain. Long lost memories of… drumroll please…. 🥁…… the Honda Ridgeline from 2005! Remember that hideous thing? But I guess, as the saying goes, the Ridgeline walked so the Cybertruck could run.

I never really liked the shape of the Ridgeline so I guess I have to admit I don’t really like the shape of the Cybertruck, nor the probability that it’ll never be a real truck, capable of hauling things, towing things, and being the reason a woman loves a man.

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-Out of the Wilderness

The Meta Quest Crib Puzzle Commercial – The Music, the Actor, and More!

Mixed reality has never looked so meta. Well, Meta Quest, that is. In this installment of virtual reality, a husband is tasked with putting a crib together and instead of continuing with the instructions (because instructions are for losers!), he mounts the Meta Quest headset on his head and proceeds to dominate. Take a look then scroll down for more info…

This is less like MTV Cribs and more like a show on TLC because it’s an actual crib. For a baby. But as soon as the dad finishes the build, the villain appears with more obstacles. Oh oops, that was his wife with more baby furniture to assemble. A humorous end to the commercial where our protagonist did something well enough, he was asked to do it again. What’s that work phrase… be careful, if you do something too well they’re going to ask you to keep doing it… something like that. Meta Quest is actually ruining this guy’s life. He should admit he’s a failure and hire a handyman for this gig. After all, there are people out there who love puzzles. They might love songs about puzzles too, which this ad takes advantage of in reality reality. The song is called “The Puzzle Song” and it’s by Shirley Ellis from 1965.

The part of overtasked husband is played by actor Samuel Theophylus. Sam does a great job showing different types of emotions (which is very relatable for anyone who’s ever tried to put anything together…. like that time I installed a storm door). And we’ve all heard horror stories about assembling IKEA furniture!

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-Out of the Wilderness