And on a lighter note… triathlon training!

Yesterday was the most raw confession I’ve ever written about. If you read it (here), you can probably guess that the wide range of emotions I’ve felt in the last few days are still very present. And sometimes we just need a break from all of that, don’t we? Part of my break, a distraction if you will, was to get in some laps this morning. So on a lighter note, here’s how it went at the community pool today…

I arrived. I put on my tight pants. Swim cap on. Goggles down. Nose clip secured. And yes, I wear a nose clip (here’s why)! I slithered into the pool as calmly as possible because even though it’s temper-controlled, there’s always that initial chill. George Costanza was right, and that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

So why do I swim when I’m not fast? Well, because I’m not fast. How am I supposed to be a better triathlete if I swim like a manatee?? Actually, side note: Did you know one reason alligators don’t prey on manatees is because manatees are fast in the water? That’s not something we discuss enough, I think. So maybe I’m more like floating debris. But I’m working on it because I have a triathlon coming up next weekend. Funny that as the weather temp goes up, so does my training. Isn’t it easier to do things outside when it’s not frickin’ cold!? The last time I swam in cold water it took a few hours to stop shaking. I guess that’s why I’m a big fan of hotness whether I’m swimming, biking, or running. Give me all the sweat!

The swim went good this morning, 1200 yds in two intervals (2×600) and even though my Tyr swim jammers are as tight as they should be– I can’t fathom how men… or women for that matter… are confident enough in public to wear speedos or bikinis when another human being can witness it– where was I going with this run-on sentence?? Oh yes, even with the “tight pants” on, it was good to get into the pool and burn some energy.

Plus, at the pool I randomly (or was it a divine thing?) saw a couple of guys I know, one from triathlons. I’ve been really happy to connect with him since he’s new and the race coming up next weekend is his first! Very cool. The other guy, I had chatted with at the pool once back in 2024 and the convo quickly turned into such great spiritual encouragement to me. Haven’t seen him since then but it’s not a coincidence that I saw him today. A little God moment just for me.

Also, no-one seemed taken aback by my pants and their level of tightness. I’m calling that a win.

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-Out of the Wilderness

I’ve Never Felt This Heavy of a Burden – A Sports Betting Story

I didn’t want to write about this until I talked to my family. Like that’s an easy step or something. There’s so much pride in my heart (and not the admirable kind) that I’m finding it very difficult to admit to my parents, siblings, that I recently made a really big mistake. Like, very big. Gigantic. And it’s nobody’s fault but my own. Quick backstory: I live with my two dogs in a camper so I don’t have a family of my own, per se. So these people in my life are the ones I wanted to tell first before going online with the story.

Yesterday I had one of the worst days of my life, apart from losing loved ones and stuff like that. I have no idea how the day got like this, except to say that it was a blur. I’m embarrassed, ashamed, angry, sad. My hands and feet were tingling like being pricked by a thousand needles. I lost my appetite, I couldn’t sleep… because the weight of “chasing losses,” as it’s called, devastated me all day. I’m talking about sports betting and specifically in my case, Hard Rock Bet. It’s legal in Florida according to the jingle. I’m even waking up today devastated and asking myself what I’ve done. It started with just a few dollars and ballooned to so much more. I’ve cried, prayed, yelled, paced the floor (and in a camper that’s a lot of turning around). At this point I feel almost completely hopeless. Why didn’t I truly learn my lesson the first time I wrote about sports gambling?

I know this for sure, now: Forever, I’m done with sports gambling. I have never felt so unhealthy, disconnected from reality, and alone. That is, until I had a good, long talk with the people I admire the most– my parents. Both my mom and my dad stopped what they were doing just to sit down with me and, in a way, carry the burden with me. I told them everything from how the day started to how it ended. They said they could sense something was wrong that day because I was acting different. I’m SO glad I have them in my life especially for this experience, one of the hardest days I’ve had to go through. Originally, this post was going to be designed as a preface for my GoFundMe pitch. You know, hey you, help me financially through this massive obstacle I put in my own way. Through the guidance of my dad and mom, I’m not going to do that, though. They shared wisdom for a few ways to tackle this: God and good work. Of course, there IS a way you can knock two birds out with one stone. 😉 You can contribute to my material recovery process AND have an awesome gift for someone you love! I’ve written two children’s books and I love them both so much. OK, the pitch for my books is done… here are the links, then we’ll get on with the story. OK now the pitch is done. ✅

“Big and Small God, Made Them All” and “The Brave Bamboo”

Although I was a mess when I confessed all of this to my parents– talking about how I’m not good at anything, I’m hopeless, how can I recover this debt, all that kind of dramatic stuff, they had nothing but encouragement, no shaming, no judgement. I cannot very accurately say how much that has meant to me already. I still need to talk with my sister and brother-in-law, and I’m imagining it will be just as humbling to admit this disappointing part of my life.

But there’s a bright side. As my parents explained, this can be a wake up call. Lately, you see, I’ve been wondering about life, about my purpose, and all of that came to a head yesterday for me. And all it took was a terrible experience with sports bets. And it was so terrible. I cried but not in a “woe is me” kind of way, it was all in confession to God that I don’t really like who I am. I’m struggling to find purpose. But now I can see a little bit of a light, even though I’ll be honest that I still feel the burden, too. That won’t go away in just one day. I made poor decisions but if this can be a life lesson and a change of course towards something better, a direction that includes acknowledging that I pretty much suck at life when I try to do it on my own without God (like Ecclesiastes says in the Old Testament), then maybe, just maybe this experience won’t be in vain, or vanity as Solomon would say.

Two last things: One from my mom who heard a woman in her Bible study say just this morning that sometimes God doesn’t remove the struggle, or save us from it, but he will be with us through them and carry us to the other side.

And the other thing: I was listening to UB40 (still on my UB40 binge I guess?) and a certain song popped up. It’s not about faith but the sentiment is so true. I felt as if God was telling me “bring me your cup, I’ll fill you up.”

-Out of the Wilderness

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Could this guy win American Idol?

My top pick, it’s been decided, is Slater Nalley. But… and yes, there’s a but… after the second group of singers sang, I’m not so sure. Something about Thunderstorm Artis is reminding me of the crowd energy when Iam Tongi was a contestant. Every time he got on stage, it was pretty obvious he had all the momentum. I’m starting to feel that with Thunderstorm. This season might already be in the bag for Mr. Artis.

-Out of the Wilderness

American Idol in Hawaii – Gabby Remembers, Slater Wishes, Jamal Accuses

Half of the 24 contestants auditioned for the viewing public last night at the Disney resort on the island of Honolulu, Hawaii and, honestly, it was just OK for the first 30 minutes or so. Now to be fair, all of the singers have talent. They’re certainly light years ahead of me and so for that, they should all be so proud to have made it this far. They’re good. It’s just that some of them are so far beyond good that the good singers will get left behind. Not like the “Left Behind” books, the OK singers aren’t going to Hell, calm down! I just mean that when a pro gets up there on stage, it’s clear who the imposters are. Let’s start with the point in the show (30 minutes in, like I said) where Simon Cowell would’ve said, “Now the show has started.” A few contestants had come and gone. Forgettable. Then Gabby Samone took the stage with a Celine Dion song and this right here is the first singer of the show that went beyond singing and connected with the audience.

The episode continued to get better and better as it went on. Better singers, better performances, and it ended with two guys that will comprise part of the final 5 contestants (just in my opinion, of course). That is, Slater Nalley and Jamal Roberts. Oh, throw Breanna Nix in there, too. So the best of the night were Gabby, Slater, Breanna, and Jamal. Everyone else ought to start packing their bags.

Slater Nalley channeled a little bit of his inner David Gray in his rendition of “Over the Rainbow.” But his overall tone is so gritty, growly, he stands alone in this competition. I’d still love to hear his falsetto… I think it would be mesmerizing. This song had a few places he could’ve hit a higher falsetto and maybe used a little less of the scream/yell type delivery but at the same time, we want singers with grit, with a story to tell, don’t we? Sometimes passion is loud and I’m ok with that. He’s my pick to win it all.

Breanna Nix had a bit of the “mom vibe” going on with her wardrobe, nothing that can’t be refreshed as the season goes on. While she might have appeared to be a little bit orchestrated on stage (go here, then go there, raise hand, go here, look at crowd), she can sure sing. She’s solidified herself in the Christian music lane with this powerfully-delivered performance of “Still Rolling Stones.”

Jamal Roberts… In spite of my pick for #1 being Slater Nalley, Jamal continues to remind me that sometimes I’m wrong. He has an incredible voice, stage presence beyond any of the other contestants in this episode. Plus, who doesn’t love where he’s coming from as a loving single father and an elementary school P.E. teacher? And don’t forget he’s got the best smile this season, or as Jelly Roll put it– a smile for days. Top 3, at least.

There’re 8 other singers in this episode and I have no idea who they are. In other words, it’s clear who should be eliminated this round and I’m sorry to say that one is a person the judges seem to love (baffling!) and the other is offspring of a famous boyband singer. Before I went to sleep last night, I couldn’t help but rewatch one of the best Idol moments in history. Remember Jessica, Candice, and DeAndre singing “I Guess It Doesn’t Matter Anymore”?

-Out of the Wilderness

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American Idol Behind the Scenes Singing – April 2025

Judges have done their due diligence and selected the top 24 American Idol contestants who will be singing for our votes as soon as tonight. For a full list of the two dozen singers, click here>>. As I was looking up what to write about today, I found a few clips that I can’t help but post. We all know Slater Nalley will be crowned champion (I have spoken it into existence!), but here are some great “back stage” style clips a few people have posted online. Do you have a favorite from the lot below?

This gospel moment is pretty awesome. Two of my favorites in this group, too– Slater Nalley and Jamal Roberts.

This is a shaping up to be a pretty great season of Idol. My prediction still remains that it’ll be a guy winning because of such strong talent from Slater Nalley (my favorite, did I say this yet?), Jamal Roberts, Canaan James Hill, Thunderstorm Artis… I just can’t see anyone getting more votes than these guys.

-Out of the Wilderness