10 Ways to humanely torture a terrorist…or anyone really

There are many relatively humane ways to agitate someone. Forget waterboarding. Let go of your desire to go all Jack Bauer on someone. Just do any of the following and they’ll break… they will.

They aren’t allowed to wait for the shower to get warm. Seriously, they’ll either break or turn to ice. Especially effective in winter months.

Send them to IKEA without a map. (does not work for women, they’ll see this as some kind of reward)

During afternoon rush hour, make sure their lane is somehow always the slowest, even if they switch lanes. Seriously, it happens to me every day going home from work.

Put their alarm clock just out of their reach.

Make them change their Outlook password every 3 weeks like my work computer does to me!

Send them to the grocery store for peanuts. Seriously, what aisle are those on??

Have them manage your Google+ account. I don’t even know if Google knows how to do it.

Tie him in front of a TV while baseball is on.

Take away all 2-ply toilet paper. 1-ply does still exist, people, and let me tell ya, it’s thin.

Make them explain to their parents why they’re still single. A few minutes of this will accomplish more than a thousand Army Generals could.

Kelsey, Sanderson Poe, and more from The Bachelor

Kelsey 4The unnerving side of Kelsey Poe was on full display during the last couple of Bachelor episodes. Here’s more about her “amazing” story:

IMDB Trivia (authored by Kelsey):
Did not apply to be a participant on The Bachelor, was nominated by a friend.
Moved to Sarasota, Florida two weeks after graduating high school. Alone. With only $1,000 to her name.

Since episode 5, Kelsey has since deleted her Twitter account.

Her deceased husband Sanderson was born January 27th, 1971. He died on May 3rd, 2013. He’s buried in the Resurrection Memorial Cemetary in Oklahoma City, OK.

Kelsey has a younger sister named Taylor… who has stuck up for her sister by writing this.

She has a nephew named Ezra.

Has a website that is under construction but will be back online in March, after The Bachelor airs the finale.

Sanderson kinda looks like Pat Monahan from the band Train.

And then there’s her Bachelor application video as recorded by her younger sister Taylor. So to sum up, I believe there’s more to the story. We all know ABC edits to make it more scandalous, but they can only work with the footage they have, if that makes sense. She may not be crazy, but she sure ain’t normal.
Kelsey7kelsey 9

Remarkable Dashcam Footage

I’ve been getting heckled for having a dashcam in my car. I’ll admit it’s a bit odd, but only in the U.S. With GoPro’s being mounted pretty much anywhere, police officers being fitted for chest-mounted cameras, having one in your vehicle doesn’t seem very extraordinary. Plus, cars already have cameras (think: cameras that assist in backing up). Why not have one in the front to capture things going on as you drive down the road? In other countries they are used to defend against corrupt cops as well as other civilians faking accidents (backing into you and claiming you rear-ended them). I’m an enthusiastic supporter of these cameras. I’m more and more surprised that they’re not catching on faster in America, but I’m guessing they will. In fact, I’m calling it now, one day they will be included as a package deal like power windows and automatic door locks. Just put them in the front bumper, or behind a rear-view mirror. Simple. Done.

I recently caught this on camera and it was featured in news locally, and elsewhere:
(warning: this is a highway vehicle/pedestrian accident, not graphic but still may not want to watch)

I also caught a breathtaking bolt of lightning:

Faith Hill and Tim McGraw: part 2

Recently I posted my thoughts on Faith Hill and Tim McGraw’s video “Like We Never Loved At All.” Great video. My favorite of theirs, though, is “I Need You.” Since this video came out after “Like We Never…,” I’m assuming Jackie and Isaac, or Issac, worked out their issues and now they want to get lost in some corner booth in Mexico. Which, to me, doesn’t sound like a vacation at all. Mexico is dangerous. Maybe they didn’t work out their issues and this is Jackie’s way of leaving Issac in Mexico to fend for himself.

She’s like, “I need you”… to come to Mexico with me so I can leave you there you dirty worthless man. Wow, Jackie, that’s cold.

Faith Hill and Tim McGraw

Faith4So this week at work I got reacquainted with the Faith Hill video “Like We Never Loved At All.” She and husband Tim McGraw play the singing duo Jackie and Isaac. Hard to believe it’s been almost 10 years since the video was released… yeah, it was 2005! That was before Twitter, before hashtags, before iPhones and iPads, heck it was before everything on TV went hi-def. Anywho, watching it again I noticed Tim signs his name as “Issac” though clearly his character’s name is “Isaac.” Weird, right? Well, Issac, as it turns out, is simply an English variation of Isaac, however why Tim’s character uses the variation we may never know. Faith3Maybe it was a subtle jab at Jackie, since they obviously had broken up before the performace they’re preparing for in the video. Perhaps his insistence on spelling it with 2 s’s instead of 2 a’s began to eat at her over the course of their relationship. Then she noticed he also chewed his food slowly, like a cow and that bothered her. Not to mention his peculiar affection for hats. He’s got a flat one. A cowboy one. A baseball one.

“Just what exactly is he covering up, up there?” she wondered.
Faith5So they broke up. Reuniting for this performance, it took all her strength not to slap Issac right in the face. To slap his silly hat right off his silly head. But still, deep down, she loved him. That’s why (spoiler alert) she doesn’t say “yes” when Moses proposes to her. Hey, if Isaac can change his name, then I can call the old guy Moses. I have rights, too. Check out the video, it really is a good one.