A day that unravelled

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If the above statement is true, then the opposite must be true, too. I can offer some evidence for that because yesterday I felt like Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. But it started off so good! I woke up (that’s good). The weather was fantastic (also good!). I had some work scheduled (totally good!).

Before heading off to do said work, delivering for Amazon, I had a few hours to “putter,” as my mom would say. So I took the dogs to the dog park. We had a great ol’ time. I even spent entirely too much attention on a little slug we found.


I even had time for a short run before having to leave for Amazon.

Great morning, right? My day wasn’t unravelling at all! And I hadn’t even said one prayer yet. Maybe that famous quote is just an amusing tale. Maybe it’s just something people say because it sounds good. Maybe? Maybe not!

When I left for Amazon was the beginning of the unravelling. Most of the deliveries went fine until the last few. I had about 10 in an apartment complex, one that was set up with lockers for deliveries. I like lockers because the process is organized… usually. The Amazon app was having issues because of a few things which I won’t get into, so at the end of the 10 deliveries my screen was not showing the info it should’ve been. On top of that, I had one package to return to the warehouse because it was mislabeled. Not a terrible thing, but a nuisance for sure.

I returned that package and headed home. However, my Amazon app was still stuck on that wrong screen. No biggy, I thought.

Well, that screen made things more messy when I decided to pick up deliveries later in the day. The shift was 330pm to 430pm and routed me to downtown, tossing me into Nashville traffic on a horrifically high-volume day. I knew getting home would be a nightmare but I signed up for it, so I shrugged my shoulders and drove on. Traveling on the interstate towards downtown, I noticed the folks headed in the other direction were backed up for miles because of a wreck. Police everywhere. Lanes blocked. Of course, this was the very route I’d be taking to get home, so the high-volume I mentioned was compounded by less lanes. Great.

I had 3 addresses to deliver to, one of which was to a government building. Security had me sit and wait for a “supervisor” to let me up to the 8th floor. Ten minutes of sitting and then I was told I can’t go up. Meanwhile it’s already 445pm (15 minutes past when I was scheduled to finish), and I still had another delivery to do.

The last delivery went OK then I did my best to weave back to the warehouse to return the rejected government package. It took almost an hour to go 10 miles! But I managed to snag a 5pm to 630pm shift so I took some solace knowing I was still “on the clock.”

Once at the warehouse, the manager checked me in and so everything was returning to normal, or so I thought.

Later I returned home, mentally exhausted and needing to decompress from all the day had brought me. Come to find out, the 2.5 hours of work was not registered by Amazon. What!? I sat in an hour and a half of traffic, delivered packages and returned one, and none of it was recorded? I was on the verge of exploding about this. How am I supposed enjoy watching The Bachelorette– I mean, playoff hockey– now?

So that’s pretty much how my day went. Lots of detours, literally and figuratively, and I didn’t even pray until the very end of the day… when I was at the end of my rope and needed God to shoulder my burden, to soften hearts, to bring about justice. I think it would’ve been much better to start my day with prayer, not end it with prayer. Or better yet, start and end my day with prayer, and do it all the time in between, also. Isn’t that how one hems, anyway? Sewing all around the garment, not just on one side and the other.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-8

Now it’s the morning of the next day, issue still unresolved and the same anxiety is in my heart. Will Amazon treat me fairly? Will I be compensated for my work? At this point I don’t know. But I can say this and be sure about it, I don’t want today to go like yesterday did. So as soon as I post this, I’m bowing my head to start sewing prayers to my day.

[check out the follow up to this story here]

-Out of the Wilderness

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Lady Antebellum singing the National Anthem

lady aLady Antebellum had a bit of a flub singing the National Anthem on Saturday night, kicking off game 5 of the Nashville Predators 2nd round series against the Winnipeg Jets. Take a look…


But hey, it happens to the best of us, right? They still sounded great and hopefully their minor mistake will the be the worst thing that happens in Nashville tonight… meaning the Predators win to go ahead 3-2 in the series.

-Out of the Wilderness

I think I have a wasp problem

Have you ever walked out of your house and felt like you walked into a wasps nest? Well, for me, it happens at my front door, but it’s actually the opposite… I’m trying to get into the house. The other day I came back home from doing something awesome, because why else would I have left the house to begin with, ya know? So I walked up to the front door and there was a wasp floating around. He was a nuisance enough that I had to back up in a full-on retreat. And I was so close to making it inside, so close.

So there I am, standing in my yard, coming up with a strategy to get in my own house. And this time it wasn’t even because I’d forgot my keys! Note: this video below happens more than I’ll admit in writing.


I thought, “Maybe if I’m casual about it, he’ll let me by.” I walk up, no no, I stroll up to the front steps. And you know what I saw? This wasp was poised, if I can use that word here, he was poised in attack mode, and to be quite I honest, I was impressed. I was like, “Look at this little guy protecting his…well, “his” domain.” His front legs were slightly bent forward, his back legs cocked and ready to launch. I’m being all breezy and he wants to start a fight.

Every time I tried walking up to the door, even striking up a convo on the way, find some common ground  like “Hey, so you come here often?” or “Hey man, how’s your week been?” or “Can you believe the weather? Gosh it’s hot!”… but he just points his little body right towards me. And he never answered a single question. Rude. Try being a social butterfly once in a while, gee wiz.

Now anyone who knows me well knows I’m a pacifist when it comes to animals and things. I don’t want them to die, not really. Who am I to say, “You get to live. You don’t get to live,” ya know? But I found a stick and I had to beat him with it. I didn’t kill him, just sent him a message. And I was able to get by, rushing through the door before he rounded up his other wasp buddies.

I came back out about 20 minutes later, armed with wasp killing spray. Ok, yes I was a little sad about it, but I’m tired of waiting on the government to pass stricter wasp control policies. And the NRA– I mean the NWA (National Wasp Association) are millions strong! I would spray any wasp that I could… and feel bad about it later.

There’s one in the ivy, spray spray. There’s another hovering about, spray spray. Here’s one on the fence, sprayyyyyyy. This is when I realized I do have a genuine wasp problem and I might be bigger than that. The fence wasp fluttered around like a plane with one engine. He was going down. Sputter sputter and kaboom, he crash lands in the grass. You’d think that was satisfying enough, right? Nope.

I shot a wasp in Nashville, just to watch him die.

I stood over him as he crawled around haphazardly, just waiting for him to give up. So not only am I responsible for ending his life here on earth, but then to watch him suffer and die? That’s just sick. Now if I could just turn this whole thing into a country song, at least I’d have a way to pay for the therapy that I probably need for my sinister wasp behaviors!

-Out of the Wilderness

Am I jinxing the Predators?

For those of you who don’t know, Nashville has these “watch parties” for anyone without tickets to home playoff games, and also for away games. Last year when the Predators made it to the finals, I went to 3 of these watch parties.

Not only did we lose those 3 games, we also never even scored! The one time a puck made it in the net was soon called for a controversial off-sides penalty.

Now it’s 2018 and the Predators are in the hockey playoffs again. The city is having the watch parties again. I went to one again. We lost again. The next game, which happened a few days later, we won. There was a watch party but I didn’t go.

You see what kind of stress I’m under now?

While you may think the solution is easy– just don’t go to a watch party– I’ll make it even easier… Someone needs to give me tickets so I can watch from INSIDE the arena. We never win when I’m watching from outside.

Easy way to win the Cup in my opinion!

-Out of the Wilderness

What happens when there’s no romance

There’s eye contact. Laughing. An attractive woman with a pretty smile. She touches his arm playfully. He compliments her style. This has all the makings of a great relationship forming. But what happens when there’s one thing, one critical thing, missing?

It might not be apparent on the first date, or even a 5th date, but have you ever been out with someone only to realize you don’t have romantic feelings for them? Whether you ever admit it to them or not, I imagine it’s happened to most of us at least once.

So let’s get personal, shall we? Earlier this year I spent time with someone in whom I was hoping to have interest. There was clearly an attempt on both of our parts to strike the match for a romantic spark. We went out a few times and saw each other quite a bit in “non-date” scenarios. All that to say, we were able to see each other’s personalities pretty well, and I was purposely trying to be a gentleman throughout the entire dating relationship. I know I’ve got a long way to go, but I’m generally happy with how I behaved. Well… that makes one of us!

I’m not one to leave things hanging or to assume she can read my mind so once I knew I didn’t have feelings for her, I wanted to talk about it. Now, I’ll be the first to admit I’m not one who’s known for being tactful. I’ve got none! But I made a point to be kind, considerate, and to muster up at least an ounce of tact. It must not’ve worked. Somehow my approach for sharing my feelings was off-putting and she took the opportunity to let me know. Let’s just say she had a spirited response…

…which was 17 pages. FRONT AND BACK!!

OK, it wasn’t as dramatic and the Ross and Rachel saga, nor was it more than 10 or 11 pages, but she was clearly upset and told me all about it. And just so you have all the facts, she also didn’t have romantic feelings for me! The verbal lashing seemed to be out of left field, and what I couldn’t figure out is who she thought she was talking to? And I don’t mean that in a puffed up kind of way. What I mean is that she derided pretty much my entire approach to our dating relationship, the same dating approach I was proud of! Surely she was thinking about some other fellow, right?

Way back in the back of my mind I couldn’t help but think what really upset her is that I brought it up first. Maybe she wanted to be first to say there wasn’t interest. I honestly don’t know, and won’t ever know, because after I defended myself, and spent time considering her comments, I let it go. Any further communication would not have been helpful to either of us.

What helped me through this is remembering I can only marry one person. So every other person in the entire world is someone I didn’t marry. Makes sense, right? These other people… either I didn’t know them, didn’t date them, or didn’t have romantic feelings for them. Those are all the options. So this latest relationship is simply one of the ones that aren’t the one. I wish her the best…

As tje band Queen said, “Another one bites the dust!”

-Out of the Wilderness

On skateboarding, softball, and sillyness

It was one of those things where you think to yourself, “I have to do this. I must do this. I will do this!” And now, in hindsight, I should not have done this.

It all started on a warm Wednesday afternoon. The day before, on a warm Tuesday afternoon, I mowed the front yard, so naturally on the next day, I’d mow the back. It takes about 40 minutes behind a push mower I bought from my neighbor years ago. It’s a trusty little mower. I secretly planned to mow half the yard Wednesday, and finish it up on Thursday. Such a secret, I didn’t even tell my dogs! Because we’ve all seen how that can go.


Mowing only half of the backyard was partly due to conserving energy for 2 softball games I had that night, one at 615 and the next at 720. I know softball isn’t exactly physically demanding, but I still like to be energized for running, etc. Anyway, I ended up mowing the entire backyard, which wasn’t the worst decision I made that day.

While I was mowing, I thought to myself, “Hey, I should ride my skateboard to the games tonight.” Now we’re getting really, really close to the worst decision I made that day. Plus, how is riding a skateboard 2.5 miles in any way going to help me conserve energy? I’m so silly. I’m also stubborn, so now that the challenge was out there… there wasn’t really a chance I’d say no.

A couple of hours later I gathered my gear and went through everything mentally. I’d need a backpack, flashlights, water, phone. Check. I left the house and here’s what I realized by the time I arrived at the field 30 minutes later: It was mostly walking! The original plan was to walk the uphills, then ride the downhills and flat spots. Well, there were about 2 flat areas and the hills were steep and horribly positioned. They all seemed to end at an intersection. C’mon man! So I ended up walking up and down the hills.

I only had 2 close calls on the way to the fields: one where I did ride down a hill and needed to make a right, almost sliding into a car because I could barely maintain the turn with the speed I was going. The second was when I fell backwards, landing on my hands and rump. I’m sure someone saw this (I was in a neighborhood) but I didn’t hear any laughter. They were probably just being kind till I was out of ear shot.

I played the two softball games, and was pretty much dreading the ride back home, another 2.5 miles and this trip in the dark. I had a headlamp on the entire time, and flashed a Maglite flashlight when cars were near. So. Much. Walking. But I was determined to ride, so I sometimes pushed the board going uphill. I made it in about 32 minutes but my legs were toast!

Good news: I didn’t fall or have any near collisions this return trip.

Bad news: As I’m typing this post, pretty much every part of my lower body is sore. What a leg workout that was, and for future reference, you will not see me riding the skateboard on Wednesday nights from here on out! I’ll take advantage of the luxury of having a car to ride in, thankyouverymuch!

-Out of the Wilderness

The case of the unfit underwear

I tried to get in and out of Walmart without embarrassing myself too much, but how often do those plans usually work out, right? I was up front with the customer service lady, telling her I need to return my underwear. At first it was just her and I, still embarrassing but at least it was our little secret.

Then somehow it spread to another employee, then another and another! All I wanna do is return these “fashion” briefs for just regular ol’ briefs. Is that too much to ask?

Not to mention, take a look at the pic on the package, no pun intended…

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I was silly to think I could pull these off (I intended that pun). But look at this guy, totally rockin’ the briefs! I swapped out this set of 6 briefs for another set of 7. And I can’t even tell you the amount of times I had to say the size… yes, they’re smalls. Dang it. They were less expensive but not colorful and fashionable. Plain. White. Small. Briefs.

I guess it’s time I face the facts, I’ll always be a tighty whitey kind of guy.

-Out of the Wilderness