How many dogs in the history of pup-kind have eaten one of these?

It’s kind of like that one song you’ve heard with a word you’d never expect to hear in the lyrics. Like “spool”… how many songs have ever included the word “spool”? I can tell you there’s probably only one…

That’s right. Just like there’s probably only one song with “spool” in the lyrics, there’s probably only one dog that’s ever eaten…

a sea horse!

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pictured is the sea horse who is no more, in his last sea-lfie

Yep, I hate to say it, but my 10-year-old beagle was feeling a bit horse the other day. Was she sick? No, no… she’s fine. But she ate Sea-biscuit!!! Yes, you read that right. I was at a beach on the gulf coast of Florida and randomly found a sea horse who had apparently passed away recently. He was floating in the shallow waters and wow, what a moment! I’ve only seen a sea horse in the wild once in my life, and now twice. I reverently picked it up and stored it for the trip back to the house so I could show the rest of the family.

A few folks got to see it before the pup-petrator commited– *ahem* ALLEGEDLY commited– the crime. I had set Sea-marty Jones in a spot where he would dry out, safely away from most activity around the house. A few hours later, Snack Beauty was gone! A potential witness stepped forward with some information, very incriminating information, about one of the dogs who shall not be named, but who is known for eating anything that is close to being edible. The witness said he saw this dog near the area of Sea-cretariat.

So we don’t have hard evidence to lock the canine up, but we know her well enough to know with 99% certainty she had a salty snack that day! Plus, that very afternoon when a squirrel ran by, I could swear I heard a neigh where a howl should’ve been 🙂

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looking awfully pupspicious

So long, BuSEAphalus…

-Out of the Wilderness

I leave the toilet seat up, and she hates it

I thought today was a good day to come clean about my stereotypical male behavior. After I use the restroom, I do not, I repeat… I DO NOT put the toilet set down when I leave. Does that make me a horrible person?

So sue me! But I’ve learned the hard way that this social faux pas is necessary in my household. To set you up with the full story, you need to know I live alone. Well, no other humans. I have 2 dogs named Piper and Asia. They are little rascals but they are my buddies. Asia is a tomboy, tough, but snuggly. Piper is a queen, tough, and adorable. But it’s because of Piper that I have to be this way. I have to leave the seat top up in the bathroom.

Too many times when I don’t hear anything after Piper wanders from one room to another, I fear the worst. The worst meaning that she’s snooped somewhere she knows not to. It could be a friends backpack, purse, pulling a loaf of bread off the shelf, but with the restroom environment, 100% of the time she wrestles with the roll of toilet paper.

The toilet paper never wins.

So now if you walk into my bathroom, you’ll see a toilet paper stand where the toilet paper should be. Then on the back of the toilet, you’ll notice that’s actually where the tissue is. Why? Because anywhere else is fair game for Miss Piper. You’d think having it on the back of the toilet is safe, right? I thought so, too, but we were wrong.

Piper has been known to jump up onto the toilet seat lid and start a fight with the toilet paper there. And like I said, she wins every time! So now I leave the seat lid up and so far she hasn’t figured out a way to get to her arch nemesis. She soon will, I feel sure of this. Then I’ll have to move the toilet paper farther away. Is there toilet paper with a scent of shampoo? That may do the trick!

-Out of the Wilderness

My dogs like to cuddle, and I’m OK with that

When it comes to weather, winter is my least favorite time of year. My feet are always cold, I usually get sick at least once, everything shocks me, and there’s just not much to do outside when it’s 15 degrees! But there is a silver lining.

My dogs are so warm!

Check out a few clips in this montage of one of my dogs under the covers.

Our sleeping arrangement here at the house goes like this… there are 2 bedrooms; one is mine and the other belongs to the dogs. In these bedrooms there are mattresses. Mine is a queen and the dogs share a king. I know that might sound weird but one day I was at Bargain Hunt here in Nashville and happened to catch a sale on these gigantic mattresses. So basically for the price of 2 dog beds at PetSmart, I could get a mattress that is twice the size of the two doggy beds put together.

So with all that said, most nights I sleep with the dogs on their enormous bed. Hey, it has sheets and pillows so why not? 🙂

One of my dogs, Piper, loves to burrow under the sheets entirely, so she typically ends up by my feet, leaning against my legs. Asia, on the other hand, prefers to curl up against my chest, half under sheets and half out. But like Piper, she’s got to be touching me in some form or fashion. Sometimes it’s leaning against me, other times it’s my arm draped over her.

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What I’ve found with a little research is that most dogs still have the instinct of holing up in dens like their ancestors. Packs of dogs would huddle up together for warmth and protection. So there’s a little of that going on with my dogs too, and yours also if they’re the type that love being under sheets or they’re super cuddly.

It’s awesome being part of the pack!

-Out of the Wilderness

Are my dogs secretly vegetarians?

The funniest thing happened with my dogs recently. Before I tell the quick story, it’s important to remember they, especially regal beagle Piper, will eat almost anything. And I’m being very serious about that. ANYTHING. Think of the grossest thing you can come up with. Yeah, she’ll eat that.

So I came home from grabbing dinner with a friend, setting the doggy box of leftovers on a chest just next to the front door. I went to let the dogs out of their room and then to do a few other things around the house. They weren’t crazy about going outside so for about 10 or 15 minutes we all just puttered.

WAIT!!! I LEFT FOOD OUT!! Oh no. There goes my dinner for the next day. But I was definitely curious why I didn’t hear a familiar frenzied ruffle of paper or plastic bags being investigated by curious noses.

I immediately went to the box of leftovers. Untouched. Dogs acting as if it weren’t there at all. What? This was food they could have completely obliterated!

Now I know for sure they’re carnivores. The least picky eaters and they leave my tofu veggie roll completely undisturbed!?

I’ve decided to spend the rest of today being offended.

-Out of the Wilderness

Doggy doo on a stick

One of my dogs eats her own poop. I’ve written about it before so it’s not a subject I’m uncomfortable with. I mean, if she’s comfortable enough to eat poop, shouldn’t I be comfortable enough to talk about it? She’s my daughter after all, and I’m not ashamed of her! With that said, I’m not particularly fond of this habit of hers. She’s 8 years old and pretty much for her entire life I’ve tried to keep her from doing this horrid thing. But for 8 years, she’s done this horrid thing.

The other day I caught her in the act and I was determined to stop it. So what did I do? Something I’ve done a million times before: I got a stick to poke the poo and toss it over the fence.

That’s right, I poke the poo.

The only thing is, just like a million times before, I ended up just stabbing the poop balls because they wouldn’t stay on the stick. So now we’re left with poop that’s actually easier to eat than it was before!

Yep, I’ve smashed it all up into bite size pieces. Think of a potato that’s been turned into smashed potatoes. Just add butter and she could have a decent second or third meal going here.

All in all, I guess it does help keep the yard clean, so the next time I’m mowing I don’t step in a bunch of doggy doo. Maybe this is her way of earning her keep.

Oh goodness, should be thanking her?

-Out of the Wilderness