Cee-Lo Green, Kickball, and Other Thoughts

If Cee-Lo was on the Periodic Table of Elements, he would be this:
ceelo

Having dogs is just like being a parent, but nothing like having kids.

I make a point to not warn others when a cop with a radar gun is in the median.

I want to learn how to straigten out a curved broom.

My friend is extremely worried that he’s paranoid.

The song “How Bizarre” reminds me of Leon High School, class of ’97.

So does “The Distance”… remember that one? He’s going the distance, he’s going for speed? Good stuff.

My beagle’s Indian name is “Little Big Ear.” She’s a petite beagle with large ears.

My other dog’s Indian name is “Blue Eyes Rising.” She has icy blue eyes. She jumps.

Actually those are their Native American names.

I love technology but I’m always behind the curve. Yes, that means I still have a VCR.

How ’bout having thumbs, huh? That’s awesome.

I played kickball the other day. Haven’t played organized kickball since school. My hip joint hurts.

Country music: the retirement home of artists in the music industry.

Is Italian food in Italy just called… food?

This is one of my favorite performances by anybody, ever. (begins at the 7:22 mark)

You’re Not Fully Clean Unless You’re Zestfully Clean

My water bill was $19 last month. That’s high in my world because my dogs are the only ones who drink water (regularly) and I’m the only one who showers in it (semi-regularly). So for whatever reason I woke up this morning singing the Zest soap jingle. It reminds me of something Joey and Uncle Jesse would come up with in the episodes where they were advertising partners. The jingle also reminded me I need to buy soap today. And I’ll use it the next time I take a shower… in a few weeks. 

Cut. It. Out of the Wilderness.

zest

Cicadas Crash Into Me

Ok, it’s probably a little weird that I miss these little boogers. Why weird? Male cicadas play music to attract females. It’s like a reminder every 17 years of who I wasn’t in college. You remember those guys that could pick up a guitar and play any Dave Matthews song. It was rough for the rest of us. All we had to go on was our wit.  

And just imagine a few years ago when the cicadas showed up in Nashville. An insect that makes music in Music City? They had to be good. I bet they all hoped to come here and live the dream. Now they’ve settled down, they have a wife, they use a baby cicada bjorn, they’re changing little cicada diapers. The guitar’s in the corner collecting dust. They feel empty, like a shell of the wild cicada they used to be. 

But for that one crazy summer, they made music. And it was good. I can still hear the deafening melody. I can still see them flying around aimlessly. I can still recall Googling “Is it ok for my dog to eat a cicada.” But it was the harmonious buzz of summertime. Their sound synonymous with sweet tea and late sunsets. If asked why I miss cicadas…

That’s what I would say, Dave Matthews.

-Out of the Wilderness

Wacky Wednesday: Man in the Mirror

I know I’m not the only narcissistic person in the world, and for me it mostly shows up during my afternoon jog/workouts. There’s a sidewalk over on James Robertson Parkway beside a building with reflective windows. Every time I jog past those windows, I make a point to look at myself on the way… and the way back. Hey, if helps me stay motivated, I’ll keep doing it!

“I’m looking at the man in the mirror, oh yeah!”

Alright… Night, Night

It’s one of those things that you don’t realize is happening till it’s a regular occurrence. Actually, if I had to boil most of what my dogs know, it’s happened that way. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve taught Piper to sit, shake, crawl under, halt, and a few other things. I’ve taught Asia to come, stay, retrieve (at least, her frisbee), sit, and shake. But a lot of how they behave is simply based on repetition. So this phrase I’ve been saying for years, “Alright… night, night,” has been one of those repetitive things that has paid off in the long run because when the dogs hear “night, night,” they know what to do. And that’s go back to sleep. It’s awesome, especially at 330am when they scratch on the door ready for breakfast! Other repetitive behaviors and phrases the dogs have picked up on:

1. When I park in the driveway and hit the car door locks, the horn honks and the dogs come running to see me from the back yard.
2. “Let’s eat!” My dogs will sprint towards their food bowls, tails a-waggin’.
3. “Leave it!” They’ll drop whatever they have in their mouth, hopefully.
4. “Well, if it isn’t Piper the dog!” Piper begins to whine and squeal.
5. When I grab their harnesses, they both get excited for a walk.
6. “Rabbit?” Piper (a beagle) goes burzurk.

Just to name a few.

Alright… night, night.
-Out of the Wilderness