Out of the Wilderness

Carnation Instant Breakfast: You’re Gonna Love It In An Instant!

Carnation must love this. They must be eatin’ this up! Here I am a grown man singing a jingle I heard as a small innocent child who didn’t know Carnation was responsible for milk that I had to eat up! Thanks a lot, creators of powdered milk!

Powdered milk… the double-edged sword.

When we were growing up, my brother and 2 sisters each had our dinner assignments. Pray to God that you were at peace with whoever’s job it was to pour the milk at dinner each night, because when the gallon got low, there were lumps. Lumps of powdered milk that didn’t quite mix in. Lumps that were poured into cups. Lumps you didn’t know were there till they bumped your lip. It’ll ruin your day. Unless you’re the one who poured it. That’ll make your week.

Carnation “Instant Breakfast” was also popular in the family. Getting ready for work, or for school, whatever the case may be, CIB was an easy answer. So yay for fast breakfasts, Carnation. It may take a mere instant to fall in love with it, but the love I have for dry milk is not instant, it’s non-existent! It’s non-existent, Carnation!

Drinking straight from the udder,
-Out of the Wilderness

Going 80 in a 40

I begged, I pleaded, but no one I talked to seemed willing budge… except one kind lady. It was an odd circumstance because I wasn’t immediately given a speeding ticket. I was brought into a room where I had a chance to present my case… and it wasn’t going well. That’s where they handed me the $195.00 ticket, much more than I wanted to shell out. The first lady, the kind one, seemed to have a soft heart, which was working in my favor. Evidently her boss caught wind that she was about to cave, and another agent was assigned to my case. She was not budging as I began to shed tears. For some reason, a new agent came along and he was nice to me, but I doubted his willingness to waive the ticket. Then I woke up.

This was one of those dreams you wake up very grateful that it was a dream (but embarrassed to wake up crying). Weird, though, I’ve been paranoid every time I see a cop car. It seems now I have more questions than answers… like why was I going 80 mph in a 40 mph zone? Were the 3 agents a metaphor for anything in my real life? What kind of car was I driving? I’ll just assume the answer to that last question is this: