I need a brake

At one point in my life, I had recurring dreams about Taylor Swift. Those were the days! But now my consistent dreams are where I’m driving a car and get to a point where I need to slow down but when I go to press the brakes, they baaaaarely work. Like, so bad that sometimes I bump the car in front of me. Or the best case scenario is where I’m pressing them with all my might and I stop just inches away from an accident. 

After a little research, this could mean there’s an area in my life that seems out of control and it’s carrying me away with it. 

What are some consistent dreams you have? Do you think they mean anything? As always, thanks for stopping by! 

-Out of the Wilderness

A pirate post for FebruARRRRRRy

I had a dream that my niece said this about her boyfriend, “He and his mates are on their way.” I don’t remember the context, but I DO remember thinking, “What are they, pirates? Who says ‘mates’??” What, are they on their way to plunder the town square? Where will they dock their ship? Do they like the Pirates of the Caribbean movies?

But it was all a dream. My niece isn’t dating a pirate… but in case she is and they happen to read this post, I’m just joking around Mr. Pirate Man! Don’t make me walk the plank!

-Out of the Wilderness

Deep sleep and vivid dreams

I softly say a silent prayer like dreamers do.
Then I fall asleep to dreams, my dreams of you.
Roy Orbison

Yesterday I had one, and today I had another; extremely vivid dreams. Moreso than any dreams I’ve had in a long time. The first included one of my grandfathers who passed away a few years ago. He wasn’t exactly in the dream, though. Here’s what I remember about it:

In the dream, I was thinking about the temptation of lust that men face, that I face. It can be a tough thing to keep under control and then my thoughts turned to my grandfather who served in World War II. While at war, he was away from my grandmother but then when he came home, the war ended for him and he was able to be with her again. It was clear to me that this was symbolic of the war I face spiritually. There is an enemy with weapons of war all around me, and yet I must win the war so we can be with the woman I love (wife, girlfriend, or the hope of either in the future). I also heard my grandfather’s voice in a greeting he left as an outgoing message on his answering machine. 

The answering machine part was out of left field, but it was so nice to hear his voice again. It was just as real as if he were sitting next to me right now as I type! I don’t understand dreams because of things like that, how real they are in the moment. Anyway, I woke up with such clarity about this battle I face. And to be fair, women probably face something similar, but I wouldn’t dare try to speak on their behalf!

A couple of Bible verses that relate to this dream:

“Do not fear them, for the Lord your God is the one fighting for you.” Deut. 3:22

“But I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me.” Romans 7:23

 


Today’s dream was about moving to a new city. Not the first I’ve had about such a subject, but here’s how this one went…

I had already decided to move from Nashville to somewhere north. But in the pit of my stomach this choice felt like the wrong one. Like, things here are building into something great, and I’m about to leave it all behind. Though it felt wrong, everything was already packed and a trailer was already hooked up to a Jeep Wrangler. My departure was mere minutes away when my Mom asked something about my leaving and I started crying. I asked for a particular DVD that I needed to watch in some sort of attempt to confirm or challenge my resolve to leave. I remember the scenes I watched confirming that I needed to stay, but wondering how I’d go about breaking the news. 

I woke up before officially deciding to stay or go, but knowing deep down that I would stay. And thank the Lord for that! I love it here, and don’t want to leave, even in dreams… which is kind of funny because I had a powerful dream before I decided to move here saying almost the exact opposite: it’s OK to move to Nashville. That dream was over 12 years ago now, and represents part of a very important time in my life.

A couple of verses that relate this dream:

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21

“Pray that the Lord your God will tell us where we should go and what we should do.” Jeremiah 42:3

 


Anyway, there’s more to think about with both dreams but what I’m taking from them now is that I’m right where I’m supposed to be, here in Nashville, even though it’s a couple of states away from my family who I love so much… and that there’s a war going on for the attention of men. Will I suit up and fight?

 

-Out of the Wilderness

I was going to be a baseball player

In middle school, one of my teachers asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I remember timidly responding, “I want to be a baseball player.” Well, it wasn’t for a few more years that I would lose my love for the sport (and haven’t ever regained it :)) but up until then, I believed I could do it.

2 me and Whitney Williams
me in 5th grade sporting a Semper Paratus shirt.

Childish dreams, that’s what it was. I didn’t have the talent, and even if I had the drive and the willingness to work hard at it, I didn’t have the talent. Have I mentioned that I didn’t have the talent? But kids don’t think about what it actually takes to make it in professional sports. Or anything professional, really. It takes time, dedication, and oh yeah, talent.

The last year I played organized baseball was in 8th grade. Something flipped and I didn’t care to play anymore. When I went off to college (I say “went off” like my parents didn’t live right down the street), I played intramural softball for a winning team, albeit we were all students not playing for any school-sanctioned team of any sport whatsoever, but we were the best intramural team at FSU for 3 or 4 years running. #stillhavemyjersey #livinginthepast

As a grown man, yes I’m a grown man!, I love playing softball and even if most leagues I’ve been in fall into the “beer league” category, I’m still competitive and I’ll push a guy if it comes to that. Hmm, maybe I’m just living out the broken dreams of a middle school kid who just wants to come back to his hometown and ask his dad, “Are you prouda me, Pops?” like some dramatic New Jersey school dropout with a strong accent.

It’ll never happen, though, because my dad doesn’t go by “Pops”. Dang it!

-Out of the Wilderness

This one time, I was a train conductor

As some of you already know, I sometimes write about my dreams (for example, this one or this one). Well, last night was a fun one! I was a train conductor. Chooooo chooooo!
train conductorToo bad it wasn’t a soul train.
soul trainIt was a real train, full of passengers, and I was driving it. But when I took breaks, another driver took over… it was Fred Savage. Of course it was.
fred savageHe did a great job. There were even a couple of old, scary, wood bridges over bodies of water and I remember praying out loud for survival.

I have no idea what this dream could mean! But I definitely woke up relieved it wasn’t real, although hanging out with Fred Savage would probably be pretty cool.

-Out of the Wilderness