Study shows fish discouraged by evolutionary process

Pensacola, FL — Ichthyologists doing research on the behavior of fish in the gulf region, just off the coast of northern Florida, have been perplexed for months by the apparent mood changes of many vertebrates in the area.

“We’ve seen fish change behavior based on environmental factors, predator stressers, and the like, but we haven’t seen anything quite like this before,” says scientist Joseph Blaylock. “Entire schools of fish swimming slowly, with no apparent direction, some were even documented as having ‘sad faces,’ so we’re conducting more research to find out what might be causing this.”

A few factors that might make a fish to look “sad,” or frown, are big sharks in the area, getting hooked by a fishing line, losing Nemo, or watching your best friend turn from a mermaid to a human and leave forever.

Marine biologists have been brought in to study the sounds heard amongst some of the fish in the gulf. Primarily studying the fish who appear downcast, communication between them has an eary similarity to a minor key in music.

Progress took a leap forward yesterday when a stack of paper was found floating near a school of mopey mullet. It was nearly tossed aside until some of the writing caught the eye of a few biologists on the research boat. The spelling was very, very poor, but was in English, much to the delight of all on board. The note was written by Yerlstey the Mullet, Jr., and can be summarized by extreme disappointment that they have yet to turn into humans. Pages two and three mentioned all the fun they see humans doing, from jet-skiing to parasailing, kayaking, boating, using arms and legs, talking, laughing, hugging, snorkeling, breathing air, all things fish in the area cannot do.

The last page, page four, ends with an honest question: “Can’t we at least get to lizard status? Having little legs and feet would be a real game-changer for us.”

Although the sentiment of the underwater dwellers tugged on the hearts of those who heard the plea, there’s ultimately nothing these scientists can do. In a handwritten note addressed to Yerlstey the Mullet, Jr. and friends, a response:

“We’re sorry you are still fish. The process of evolution takes millions of years, so although those reading or hearing this note won’t be turning into humans during your lifetime, but on the bright side, a lot of humans are becoming vegan. This means they won’t eat you or your family.”

Scientists weren’t exactly sure this was the right angle to take with the fish, but blamed their years of schooling and lack of social interaction on however their note might have sounded.

-Out of the Wilderness News

 

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The problem with global warming and evolution

Global warming is a hot topic (no pun intended, or was it?) in politics, media, and social circles all over the US. I don’t typically throw my snow cap into the arena on this subject because it’s not something I get hot about either way (pun definitely intended), however while I was driving around for hours yesterday (sorry, earth), I came up with an interesting proposition concerning global warming and evolution. The reason I paired those together is because the folks I’ve seen most concerned about global warming are probably also believers in evolution. Lovers of science, they are! But before we get into it, let’s start with one reason why folks care about global warming. The continuation of life for mankind, right? Basically we don’t want to go the way of the flightless dodo bird.

Become extinct? ain’t nobody got time for that!

Here’s what I’m getting at: I find it difficult for anyone to believe in evolution and also worry about global warming. Why? Because evolution in it’s most simplest form is the process of adapting. For instance, adapting to things like… global warming! Humans have evolved over millions of years, they say, so why would we stop evolving now? Wouldn’t mankind be able to adapt to the changing climate, as mankind has done for millions of years? Especially since the rate of change is extremely slow. Nasa shows that the temperature has risen a bit less than 2 degrees in about 135 years. Surely generations would progressively change over the course of years and decades, right?

So why are people vocal about global warming these days? Well, people like to argue.

People want to fight. I think that’s really what’s at the heart of most of these protests and rallies (whether it’s about Trump, or about science (yes, there were rallies about science recently!)). And before you get onto me about using parenthesis inside of parenthesis, I’ll go ahead and say, yeah I just did that. Wanna fight about it?? 🙂

Then there’s science. It’s my belief (until someone enlightens me) that all those science rally supporters can’t have their cake and eat it, too. Either evolution is real, in which case they’d believe mankind would be able to adapt to global warming; or global warming ending the human race is real, in which case they’d have to resolve within themselves that maybe mankind can’t adapt and evolve so maybe evolution isn’t a thing.

Evolution and global warming are not two soapboxes one person can stand on.

Anyway, I’m no scientist, but I think I’m on to something here. Feel free to enlighten me if you care and have the time! *Picking up my snow cap now from the middle of the arena*

-Out of the Wilderness

 

A trailer for my new book!

As some of you might already know, I’m writing a book! It’s so close to being finished and available for purchase, I can hardly wait. There’s more info on my author website here, but for now, check out the book trailer for Big and Small, God Made Them All