How many dogs in the history of pup-kind have eaten one of these?

It’s kind of like that one song you’ve heard with a word you’d never expect to hear in the lyrics. Like “spool”… how many songs have ever included the word “spool”? I can tell you there’s probably only one…

That’s right. Just like there’s probably only one song with “spool” in the lyrics, there’s probably only one dog that’s ever eaten…

a sea horse!

IMG_20200317_150452
pictured is the sea horse who is no more, in his last sea-lfie

Yep, I hate to say it, but my 10-year-old beagle was feeling a bit horse the other day. Was she sick? No, no… she’s fine. But she ate Sea-biscuit!!! Yes, you read that right. I was at a beach on the gulf coast of Florida and randomly found a sea horse who had apparently passed away recently. He was floating in the shallow waters and wow, what a moment! I’ve only seen a sea horse in the wild once in my life, and now twice. I reverently picked it up and stored it for the trip back to the house so I could show the rest of the family.

A few folks got to see it before the pup-petrator commited– *ahem* ALLEGEDLY commited– the crime. I had set Sea-marty Jones in a spot where he would dry out, safely away from most activity around the house. A few hours later, Snack Beauty was gone! A potential witness stepped forward with some information, very incriminating information, about one of the dogs who shall not be named, but who is known for eating anything that is close to being edible. The witness said he saw this dog near the area of Sea-cretariat.

So we don’t have hard evidence to lock the canine up, but we know her well enough to know with 99% certainty she had a salty snack that day! Plus, that very afternoon when a squirrel ran by, I could swear I heard a neigh where a howl should’ve been 🙂

IMG_20200319_085805
looking awfully pupspicious

So long, BuSEAphalus…

-Out of the Wilderness

Study shows fish discouraged by evolutionary process

Pensacola, FL — Ichthyologists doing research on the behavior of fish in the gulf region, just off the coast of northern Florida, have been perplexed for months by the apparent mood changes of many vertebrates in the area.

“We’ve seen fish change behavior based on environmental factors, predator stressers, and the like, but we haven’t seen anything quite like this before,” says scientist Joseph Blaylock. “Entire schools of fish swimming slowly, with no apparent direction, some were even documented as having ‘sad faces,’ so we’re conducting more research to find out what might be causing this.”

A few factors that might make a fish to look “sad,” or frown, are big sharks in the area, getting hooked by a fishing line, losing Nemo, or watching your best friend turn from a mermaid to a human and leave forever.

Marine biologists have been brought in to study the sounds heard amongst some of the fish in the gulf. Primarily studying the fish who appear downcast, communication between them has an eary similarity to a minor key in music.

Progress took a leap forward yesterday when a stack of paper was found floating near a school of mopey mullet. It was nearly tossed aside until some of the writing caught the eye of a few biologists on the research boat. The spelling was very, very poor, but was in English, much to the delight of all on board. The note was written by Yerlstey the Mullet, Jr., and can be summarized by extreme disappointment that they have yet to turn into humans. Pages two and three mentioned all the fun they see humans doing, from jet-skiing to parasailing, kayaking, boating, using arms and legs, talking, laughing, hugging, snorkeling, breathing air, all things fish in the area cannot do.

The last page, page four, ends with an honest question: “Can’t we at least get to lizard status? Having little legs and feet would be a real game-changer for us.”

Although the sentiment of the underwater dwellers tugged on the hearts of those who heard the plea, there’s ultimately nothing these scientists can do. In a handwritten note addressed to Yerlstey the Mullet, Jr. and friends, a response:

“We’re sorry you are still fish. The process of evolution takes millions of years, so although those reading or hearing this note won’t be turning into humans during your lifetime, but on the bright side, a lot of humans are becoming vegan. This means they won’t eat you or your family.”

Scientists weren’t exactly sure this was the right angle to take with the fish, but blamed their years of schooling and lack of social interaction on however their note might have sounded.

-Out of the Wilderness News

 

My very own epic fails, part 1

I had an epic fail yesterday so as I laughed at the mistake I made, I thought about other times in my life where I’ve had major goof-ups. A few solid ones came to mind, and a few that I was hoping I’d forget about. The first I’ll share with you takes place in a Coast Guard Day softball game. My dad was in the Coast Guard and on this particular day, he let my brother and I play in the softball game. I was probably 12 or 13 at the time. I had seen this on TV so at one point when I hit a ball to the infield, I decided to slide into first base… head first. Let’s just say I ended up back in the dugout because the mud I slid in wasn’t as slippery as I thought it would be. Dove towards first, slid a little, stopped sliding before I even reached first base! Embarrassing. Then to top it all off, I cried. What a sissy.

There’s another embarrassing softball story, but this was in college. And again, I was sliding. I rounded second base and sprinted towards third. The throw came in and the third baseman tagged me, I was out. But we were arranged in such a way that when he pulled out of the tagging position, he had to toss my legs to the side. I took that as an arrogant assault so I became visibly angry. Realizing I took this the wrong way, he offered his hand to help me up, to which I rejected and popped up on my own. Unfortunately I got up too fast for my own good and ended up falling backwards. It was the most embarrassing moment of my college career, and that includes the few times I crashed my bike riding down a hill.

Another epic fail while I was in college involves my brother, yet again. This time it was his college graduation. Me, being the techy video fanatic, brought along my video camera to record the once-in-a-lifetime event. It was a great day! The battery was charged, I had a tape in the camera and things were looking up. I recorded clips throughout the ceremony and when it was his turn to walk across the stage, I was ready. Or so I thought. Checking the video afterwards, I made a giant mistake. You know how sometimes you can be recording when you don’t think you are, then not recording when you do think you are? So I recorded him walking up the ramp to the stage, then nothing, then him walking back to his seat. I completely missed him receiving his accolades as he shook hands with faculty crossing the stage. I’m such an idiot!

I owe an apology to my brother-in-law for the next epic fail. It was a beautiful day in the Gulf of Mexico. The guys in my family went out for a fishing trip in hopes of catching grouper, snapper, rock bass, whatever we could. My bro-in-law hooked something big. It took him a good while to reel it in, and whatever it was put up such a fight that we all took turns reeling. Towards the end he took the pole back and I assigned myself video duty. It was a huge nurse shark from about 90 feet down! It was amazing. I’d show you the video here but much like the disaster that was my brother’s graduation, I hit record to capture the event, only to realize when I hit the button to start recording, it was actually stopping the recording. I got about a 1-second view of that big fish. Dang it, Ben!

And to circle back around to my most recent epic fail… it was yesterday. I set out to capture the total solar eclipse in video fashion so I planned and prepped. Practiced and packed. On eclipse day I was ready. I arrived a couple hours ahead of time to get a good spot. I wanted to record 2 separate videos… 1. A 360-degree view of the park where I watched the eclipse and 2. a timelapse of the Parthenon there at the park. The 360-video went off without a hitch, but when I went to start recording the images for the time-lapse on my GoPro, the information window said “no SD card.” My attempt at a cool time-lapse was eclipsed by my own silly forgetfulness. As it turns out, I was practicing time-lapse shots in my back yard and after transferring footage from the SD card to my computer, I forgot to return the SD card to the GoPro. Soooooooo instead of a cool shot of the Parthenon, enjoy my practice time-lapse of mushrooms in my back yard. You’re welcome, America!

-Out of the Wilderness

 

 

A retreat on early evening tides

I recently returned to Nashville from a 7-day trip visiting family in Florida. It started with a few days at my favorite beach where my dogs can explore, the ocean recedes but leaves small pools of water across newly exposed sand, porpoises feeding nearby, sugary soft white sand where crabs make their home, birds chirping above…. and this, magical time floating on the early evening tide:
paddleboarding in the Gulf-Out of the Wilderness