Man forgoes standard home security for “coronavirus” method instead

Sikeston, MO — A Sikeston man was questioned over the phone about a sign seen on his door in the last week or so, after reports from neighbors questioned it’s authenticity. Concerns grew from the homemade warning to which the man, who’s name we will not include for sake of privacy, responded, “If anyone wants to break into my house, they have to think to themselves first, ‘Is whatever I might get from this house worth getting the coronavirus also?’ I can tell ya right now, it’s not. All I have is a small TV and a lot of regrets.”

We chose not to take the bait on what regrets he may be speaking of, but during the course of the interview we couldn’t help but notice lots of meowing cats in the background and something he uttered about bitcoins.

Asked if he was actually diagnosed with the novel coronavirus, or if this is just some sort of stunt, he replied with a series of coughs and a few sniffles. Below are a couple of images courtesy of the Sikeston man, who wishes everyone well but warns his neighbors to stop with all the “nincompoopery.”



8 movies and songs with “mask” in title

With this coronavirus scare taking over the world and sales of face masks increasing, I thought I’d make a list of movies and songs with “mask” in the title, or if they’re about wearing a mask, etc. Take a look and feel free to comment below with more additions!

The Mask of Zorro – starring Antonio Banderas

The Mask – starring Jim Carrey

“The Masked Singer” – TV show

The Man in the Iron Mask – starring Leonardo DiCaprio

“Ski Mask Way” – 50 Cent

“Behind the Mask” – Michael Jackson

“Drop the Mask” – Diana Ross

Paper Mask – starring Paul McGann

Honorable mentions: “Can’t Feel My Face” – The Weeknd, The Purge movie trilogy, V for Vendetta, “Face to Face” – Daft Punk, Face/Off 

Thanks for stopping by!

-Out of the Wilderness


High hopes amid widespread panic coronavirus cancellations

The frenzy this sickness has caused in the US is mind blowing. I mean, just check your Facebook feed and you’ll see that the majority of friends updates are about the widespread panic*… or toilet paper.

What I’m seeing on TV and hearing on the radio is about all the cancelled events, nationally and local. NCAA, golf, basketball, music festivals, conferences… there’s even Panic at the Disco**!

You know, I was in da club*** here in Nashville the other day to pick up a case of water (for normal reasons). Would you believe that people were buying water by the pallet!? I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and still can’t exactly piece together how the virus relates to a water shortage (or fear of a water shortage). With that said, it’s all coming back to me now***… I remember that Nashville does have a way of overreacting (*ahem* the gas shortage 10 years ago caused by fear of a gas shortage).

If you’re choosing to self-quarantine because of the spreading sickness, don’t worry, be happy****… I have high hopes it’ll all be over within a few months.

*the virus, not the band

**the band, not the virus

***Sam’s Club, no bottles full of bub

****in every life we have some trouble, when you worry you make it double

-Out of the Wilderness

Top 10 famous women who I am almost sure do NOT have the coronavirus

Breaking news, I am almost 99% positive that the following women from movies and TV and popular culture do NOT have the coronavirus. These are my top 10 favorite famous women who do NOT have the virus. Keep carrying on, you fine ladies! 

Dolly Parton. 

Kate Beckinsale.  

Brandi Carlile. 

Nicole Kidman. 

Robin Roberts. 


Mary Steenburgen.

Candace Owens. 

Drew Barrymore.

Ellen DeGeneres. 

Thanks for stopping by! 

-Out of the Wilderness