The Bachelorette Clare Crawley debuts tonight!

Once upon a time I blogged about The Bachelor/ette franchise. I liked all my posts, and even loved some of them, like this one confessing this show is my guilty pleasure. It’s been less pleasure and more annoying as the seasons have gone on, mostly because of the maniacal producers setting up the drama. In fact, that’s why I boycotted last season. But alas, Clare Crawley is the star of the season making its debut tonight.

I have liked Clare Crawley from her first appearance on the Bachelor, back when Juan “esss okkkk” Pablo was the one searching for love. Then I fell in love with her as she delivered a total rejection of Juan “esss okkkk” Pablo. She was the one of the last two contestants Juan “esss okkkk” Pablo was to choose from and he chose the other woman. As he feigned heartbreak over the decision, she unleashed havock upon his soul. Take a look, it was pretty amazing.

So yeah, I’m a fan. To be totally honest, I was a fan of Juan “esss okkkk” Pablo, too, until we all got to know him. He had appeared on the Bachelorette and came off as being very likable, probably because he barely talked. Once he became the Bachelor…

As I mentioned earlier, I have actually given up on entire seasons of the Bachelor/ette because of the fakeness orchestrated by producers, but I’ll watch tonight as Clare welcomes a million guys to the mansion hoping to right what Juan “esss okkkk” Pablo did wrong. Plus, it’ll be interesting as the season goes on (if I’m still watching) how they handle the mask/covid situation.

If you’re watching tonight, what are you most looking forward to? What are you least looking forward to?

-Out of the Wilderness

Would you rather date through Facebook, or go on The Bachelor?

Ever since the dawn of man, men have been trying to get it right with the ladies. Heck, Adam was the very first Bachelor contestant, right?

But there is nothing easy about deciding to be on The Bachelor, I’m sure. A lot of your dating history will be exposed to millions of people who will either cheer for you (which would be awesome, I guess), or cringe (which is most likely). Then there are the tears.

So. Much. Crying.

If you watch the show, or any of it’s spinoffs like The Bachelorette, Bachelor Pad, Bachelor in Paradise you know exactly what I mean when I say these people are… what’s the word… interesting. Most of them think being on the show is their one last shot at finding true love. Most of them are also under the age of 25.

Bless their hearts. Then, if one of these young’ns don’t get a rose, they bawl their eyes out because they thought they had found “the one.” After 3 days of being part of the cast. Barely knowing the person’s last name.

Well, getting dumped on national TV is no longer their last chance of getting rejected!!! Facebook has entered the game.  Facebook wants to be for single people what Alex “Hitch” Hitchens was to Albert Brennaman. 

So romantic. Really, it is. But does Facebook have any hope of being a successful matchmaker? I’ll say this… using an established social network to romantically connect people together makes a lot of sense. There are millions of people who have millions of friends in common, so perhaps this could be a way for friends to meet friends of friends… people they wouldn’t have met otherwise.

I just have my doubts as someone who’s tried a handful of dating platforms.

You see, what I’ve heard from my female friends is this: guys on dating sites are mostly one of 3 types. The creepy guy. The runner. The player.

[creepy guy]
Creepy guys are hard to explain because they can appear in a few different ways. But mostly, and this is just based on what I’ve heard from female friends, they’re clingy, or as soon as a woman doesn’t respond right away or asks a question about the guy’s authenticity the dude gets defensive and hurtful.

The runner is the guy that has a lot of potential in the beginning but as time wears on the other shoe drops. Meaning this… he’s got something in his DNA that won’t let him get to the place where a relationship can last. So he either ghosts, or just goes away, blaming himself.

The player. This one is easy to define. Sex. His first message is something like, “Hey baby” or “Ur fine” or something super genuine like that. 😉

They want one thing and one thing only.

Here’s another truth for you… when women join a dating site, they are flooded with messages, matches, winks, whatever. While that could be flattering, it’s actually really overwhelming. And from a friend who checked out the Facebook dating “portal,” it hasn’t been any different. She said the influx of matches caused her to delete her dating profile.

Sucks for the ladies who are on “here for the right reasons,” and for the dudes who are genuinely “looking for their person.”

So why would Facebook be any different from dating apps that exist currently? I can’t think of a solid reason except for the friends of friends thing. In that regard, it does open up more options than The Bachelor ever will, because nowadays, they’re all just dating each other. Yes, we’re looking at you Blake from Stagecoach.

He. Sounds. Hideous.

Have you tried the Facebook dating thing? Have you auditioned for the Bachelor? Chime in below and let’s get a conversation going!

-Out of the Wilderness

Hannah B and her thir(s)ty men – episode 1

The show starts with Chris Harrison talking to Hannah on the phone, asking her if she wants to be the Bachelorette. I have so many questions.

Why was a camera crew recording her? Would ABC pay a crew to record a FaceTime chat between the two if she WASN’T going to be the Bachelorette?

Here’s how I think it ACTUALLY went down. Chris and Hannah were together, like maybe during last season’s After the Final Rose or whatever, and Chris says “go in a different room and take a camera guy with you. We’ll be done in 5 minutes.”

Enough of all this trickery! 

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Ok, Hannah is a former Miss Alabama. Chris “asks” if she “wants” to be the next Bachelorette. She cautiously says yes and acts like she was just crowned Miss Bachelorette 2019. Roll Tide. 

Here are some notes from the show and the 30 men who showed up to meet Hannah.

First out of each limousine: Garrett, Devin, Peter the Pilot. I think I must’ve missed a few, but 53 other guys showed up on tractors or in boxes or over fences.

Guys with a gimmick: Connor S. jumps fence. Cam raps. Scott has floor plans for a dream home. 

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Goofy gifts: Joe in a huge carboard box. Joey with wine in a baby carrier. Ryan wears skates. Hunter with a tie so they can “tie the knot.” Grant has a hot dog and tons of condiments. Jonathan pizza. Kevin footballs. Matt Donald tractor. Chasen the Pilot made a paper airplane. Peter the Pilot brought a wings pin. 

How many times someone said…

Find my person: 1 (Hannah)

Dude mentions Colton: 1 (Dylan)

Here for the right reasons: 3 (all by Hannah)

How many times I threw up someone said “Roll Tide”: 9

First impression rose: Luke Timberlake (is he not Justin Timberlake??)

Kisses Hannah: Cam the Rapper, Connor S, Luke Timberlake

Steals Hannah from someone else: Chris Harrison, who drops the bomb that Scott may have a girlfriend back home. 

Going home without a rose: Scott…obviously. Matt Donald. Ryan. Other guy. Joe the Box King. Chasen the Pilot. A few other guys.

Gets a rose: Mike. Connor S. Matthew. Connor J. Tennessee Jed. Dustin. Joey. Devin. Peter the Pilot. Dylan. Matteo. Jonathan. Tyler C. Tyler G. Darren. Luke S. Garrett. Grant. Kevin. John Paul Jones Ledger (this might be Heath Ledger, not sure yet). (Cam and Luke already had roses from previous moments).

Featured in the final credits: Chris Harrison sweeping up shipping peanuts after Joe busted out of the huge cardboard box…. which leads me to these final thoughts. 

Final thoughts #1: Joe with the box full of peanuts is a great example of what has me fit to be tied. Connor is too. He throws her a Bachelorette party. Can I be the one who asks this…. does the crew hate any dude who “comes up with an idea” because you know those guys aren’t the ones actually setting up these elaborate things. It’s the crew! Some poor PA has to get a p-card, find a car (probably their own), fight traffic, buy the props, put the receipt in their secret garden lest they lose it and have to pay for all that stuff themselves, get back to the set, set up the date or stunt, then watch some moron swoop in and take all the credit. Always a bridesmaid, I guess. Oh yeah, and who’s gonna clean up these messes (looking at you Joe with the shipping peanuts!), it’s the PAs!!!!!!

Coming from a TV background, this really gets my knickers in a twist!

Final thoughts #2: Then there’s Jed. Did you have to be from Tennessee? Did you have to be named Jed? People already think we’re backwoods dum dums. Now with that said, I’ll admit the song he sang was granny-slapping’ good. Dern tootin’.

-Out of the Wilderness

The first Bachelor contestant, Adam

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Does anyone else’s mind wander during church sometimes? Only me? OK then! That’ll give me something to confess the next time I’m in prayer.

“God, I’m sorry for thinking about ABC’s The Bachelor and what if Adam was the contestant picking from 25 women. I know it’s weird. Thank you for loving me anyway.”

…is pretty much how that prayer would go.

Today in church there was a brief mention of Adam and Eve, and my mind ran with it. Somehow Adam became the star of The Bachelor and Eve was just one of the 25 women competing to guard and protect his heart, which leads to a flurry of questions:

Where would the other 24 women come from?

Would they all be vegetarians?

They’re already in a beautiful garden, so where’re the “exotic” dates?

Who is “there for the right reasons”?

I can see the first caravan of camels pulling up now. Adam, here are the first five women… Mary, Esther, Sarah, Ruth, and Jezebel, who simply winks and says, “Let’s do the d*mn thing.” Adam looks off to the side, “Boy, am I in trouble.” The next five arrive: Rahab, Zilpah, Ashleigh R., Ashley K., and Ashlee M. He whispers under his breath, “So many Ashley’s.” On and on it goes and maybe Eve doesn’t arrive till the final five, since the host (God) wants to save the best for last.

Adam notices Eve right off the bat so she gets the first impression rose. He feels like somehow she’s already a part of him. Get it? Ok, anyway. The first date card arrives…

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So that date will end badly. A combination of fruit, a snake, and all the contestants are banished from the paradise mansion in Eden…FOREVER!!!!! No Bachelor Pad, no Bachelor in Paradise, and dare I say not even an episode of The Women Tell All. But there is a wedding. Adam eventually picks Eve and they get married.

Years go by and many more seasons of The Bachelor, then along comes the star of the first Bachelorette season ever, Ruth! You can read her story in the Bible but I’ll say this, it includes a sizzling overnight encounter!

-Out of the Wilderness

 

Working from home as it relates to Bachelor in Paradise.

Being self-employed, working from home, whatever you want to call it, that’s what I’ve been doing since being laid off about 2 Bachelor in Paradise seasons ago. And speaking of reality, if you would have told me 2 years ago how my life would look now, I would not’ve believed you, although I would’ve definitely hoped you were right. The idea of foregoing a desk job to explore other ways of making an income was attractive to me because I seemed to be fitting less and less in a style of work that included cubicles, time sheets, and weekly meetings.
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Plus, in our economy, now more than ever, alternative forms of income are very possible and I’m proof. I’ve also got friends that are proof. In fact, one new friend started her own business as a massage therapist less than a year ago and it’s been so inspiring to hear about. She’s really smart, went about it the right way, and I think it’s pretty awesome to hear stories like that.

I wake up each day excited about what the day holds but I’ll be totally honest, it’s not always fun or easy or safe. That’s where faith in a higher power comes in. I believe God wants to take care of each and every person on this planet. Don’t ask me how He’s able to do that because I have no idea, I’ll leave all the logistics up to Him. Some things we just weren’t meant to know, else our brains would…
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Maybe it’s a desk job. Maybe it’s professional sports. Maybe it’s working in a hospital, or inventing the next iPhone, or bagging groceries at Publix. We all can fit in somewhere.

Geez, I’m way off track.

I didn’t mean to go all Tony Robins on you.

I guess the moral of this post is that sometimes what might look like a devastating blow is actually the best thing that could ever happen. Take Bachelor in Paradise, for example.
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The rose ceremony happens and you don’t get a rose. But instead of crying and your makeup smearing all over your cheeks, you skip out with a big smile on your face and hope in your heart that paradise is actually not televised.

The adventure might only be beginning! Here’s to your adventure, my adventure, and enjoying the journey…

-Out of the Wilderness