Would you rather date through Facebook, or go on The Bachelor?

Ever since the dawn of man, men have been trying to get it right with the ladies. Heck, Adam was the very first Bachelor contestant, right?

But there is nothing easy about deciding to be on The Bachelor, I’m sure. A lot of your dating history will be exposed to millions of people who will either cheer for you (which would be awesome, I guess), or cringe (which is most likely). Then there are the tears.

So. Much. Crying.

If you watch the show, or any of it’s spinoffs like The Bachelorette, Bachelor Pad, Bachelor in Paradise you know exactly what I mean when I say these people are… what’s the word… interesting. Most of them think being on the show is their one last shot at finding true love. Most of them are also under the age of 25.

Bless their hearts. Then, if one of these young’ns don’t get a rose, they bawl their eyes out because they thought they had found “the one.” After 3 days of being part of the cast. Barely knowing the person’s last name.

Well, getting dumped on national TV is no longer their last chance of getting rejected!!! Facebook has entered the game.  Facebook wants to be for single people what Alex “Hitch” Hitchens was to Albert Brennaman. 

So romantic. Really, it is. But does Facebook have any hope of being a successful matchmaker? I’ll say this… using an established social network to romantically connect people together makes a lot of sense. There are millions of people who have millions of friends in common, so perhaps this could be a way for friends to meet friends of friends… people they wouldn’t have met otherwise.

I just have my doubts as someone who’s tried a handful of dating platforms.

You see, what I’ve heard from my female friends is this: guys on dating sites are mostly one of 3 types. The creepy guy. The runner. The player.

[creepy guy]

Creepy guys are hard to explain because they can appear in a few different ways. But mostly, and this is just based on what I’ve heard from female friends, they’re clingy, or as soon as a woman doesn’t respond right away or asks a question about the guy’s authenticity the dude gets defensive and hurtful.

The runner is the guy that has a lot of potential in the beginning but as time wears on the other shoe drops. Meaning this… he’s got something in his DNA that won’t let him get to the place where a relationship can last. So he either ghosts, or just goes away, blaming himself.

The player. This one is easy to define. Sex. His first message is something like, “Hey baby” or “Ur fine” or something super genuine like that. 😉

They want one thing and one thing only.

Here’s another truth for you… when women join a dating site, they are flooded with messages, matches, winks, whatever. While that could be flattering, it’s actually really overwhelming. And from a friend who checked out the Facebook dating “portal,” it hasn’t been any different. She said the influx of matches caused her to delete her dating profile.

Sucks for the ladies who are on “here for the right reasons,” and for the dudes who are genuinely “looking for their person.”

So why would Facebook be any different from dating apps that exist currently? I can’t think of a solid reason except for the friends of friends thing. In that regard, it does open up more options than The Bachelor ever will, because nowadays, they’re all just dating each other. Yes, we’re looking at you Blake from Stagecoach.

He. Sounds. Hideous.

Have you tried the Facebook dating thing? Have you auditioned for the Bachelor? Chime in below and let’s get a conversation going!

-Out of the Wilderness

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…and I’m Kanye West

Kanye West has been an interesting conversation since he’s become a household name. I didn’t know who he was until I heard “Jesus Walks,” his fourth single off his first album way back in 2004. I remember thinking, “Well, here we go! Maybe there’ll be some entertaining mainstream rap about faith.”


Then he pretty much skidded off the rails. And by that I mean, he’s kinda nuts.


I stopped liking him because of his braggadocious personality. He was still entertaining, don’t get me wrong, but much like those rails he skidded off of, we like witnessing metaphorical train wrecks, don’t we? And there might be something loose upstairs, just saying. But back to train wrecks… well, I’ll also admit here that I watch The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise for the same reasons.

Anyway, Kanye annoyed me to no end with his “everyone’s out to get me” attitude.

Then he randomly had praise for Donald Trump last year, I believe it was. I thought, “Well, here we go! Maybe there’ll be some redeeming value to this guy after all!”

So at this point, I still don’t understand him. I mean, he willingly married a Kardashian people!!! He said he was running for president in 2020 yet I see no commercials of him saying, “I’m Kanye and I approve this message.” But somewhere deep down maybe he’s got something we can like about him. I don’t know.

-Out of the Wilderness

The first Bachelor contestant, Adam

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Does anyone else’s mind wander during church sometimes? Only me? OK then! That’ll give me something to confess the next time I’m in prayer.

“God, I’m sorry for thinking about ABC’s The Bachelor and what if Adam was the contestant picking from 25 women. I know it’s weird. Thank you for loving me anyway.”

…is pretty much how that prayer would go.

Today in church there was a brief mention of Adam and Eve, and my mind ran with it. Somehow Adam became the star of The Bachelor and Eve was just one of the 25 women competing to guard and protect his heart, which leads to a flurry of questions:

Where would the other 24 women come from?

Would they all be vegetarians?

They’re already in a beautiful garden, so where’re the “exotic” dates?

Who is “there for the right reasons”?

I can see the first caravan of camels pulling up now. Adam, here are the first five women… Mary, Esther, Sarah, Ruth, and Jezebel, who simply winks and says, “Let’s do the d*mn thing.” Adam looks off to the side, “Boy, am I in trouble.” The next five arrive: Rahab, Zilpah, Ashleigh R., Ashley K., and Ashlee M. He whispers under his breath, “So many Ashley’s.” On and on it goes and maybe Eve doesn’t arrive till the final five, since the host (God) wants to save the best for last.

Adam notices Eve right off the bat so she gets the first impression rose. He feels like somehow she’s already a part of him. Get it? Ok, anyway. The first date card arrives…

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So that date will end badly. A combination of fruit, a snake, and all the contestants are banished from the paradise mansion in Eden…FOREVER!!!!! No Bachelor Pad, no Bachelor in Paradise, and dare I say not even an episode of The Women Tell All. But there is a wedding. Adam eventually picks Eve and they get married.

Years go by and many more seasons of The Bachelor, then along comes the star of the first Bachelorette season ever, Ruth! You can read her story in the Bible but I’ll say this, it includes a sizzling overnight encounter!

-Out of the Wilderness

 

The woman in Chris Young’s “Losing Sleep” video

This morning I’ve been researching Chris Young’s music video “Losing Sleep,” more specifically, the cast of the video. In this case, it’s Chris Young as Chris Young and a mystery woman as the lead actress (to find out who it is, scroll to the bottom).

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Through various channels, I wasn’t able to find out who she is so then I tried looking up modeling agencies here in Nashville (where the video was shot).

Funny thing happened, I saw a few people I know, guys and girls. Some I’ve been to church with, some I’ve been to lunch with.

But then I stumbled upon Danielle M., who you might recognize from The Bachelor!

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photo from ABC.com

Her occupation on the show’s website lists “Neonatal Nurse” but that must just be her day job. She’s also a model! You can find more about her on this modeling website. I don’t know if she’s dating Wells (another Bach contestant who lives in Nashville) so no juicy details there. I do know one thing for sure: She’s not the woman in Chris Young’s video.

That woman is…drum roll, please… Kiersten Dolbec!

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Per the comments below from Kiersten’s mom, here’s a bit of info y’all will appreciate:
She was born in Folsom, Ca in 1991, grew up in Saratoga Ca, and now lives in Dallas TX. She is a model with Kim Dawson and Wilhemina Models. She has been studying improv at 2nd City in Chicago (home of the Saturday night live alumni) and has started her career in acting this past year. She was training for the Olympics in High Jump and had a full ride scholarship to UC Santa Barbara for Vollyball.

Kiersten is a model and actress and you can check out her website by clicking here. You can find her on social media by clicking the links below…

Instagram

Twitter

And a big thanks to The Chris Young Brigade for pointing me in the right direction!

-Out of the Wilderness

 

Working from home as it relates to Bachelor in Paradise.

Being self-employed, working from home, whatever you want to call it, that’s what I’ve been doing since being laid off about 2 Bachelor in Paradise seasons ago. And speaking of reality, if you would have told me 2 years ago how my life would look now, I would not’ve believed you, although I would’ve definitely hoped you were right. The idea of foregoing a desk job to explore other ways of making an income was attractive to me because I seemed to be fitting less and less in a style of work that included cubicles, time sheets, and weekly meetings.
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Plus, in our economy, now more than ever, alternative forms of income are very possible and I’m proof. I’ve also got friends that are proof. In fact, one new friend started her own business as a massage therapist less than a year ago and it’s been so inspiring to hear about. She’s really smart, went about it the right way, and I think it’s pretty awesome to hear stories like that.

I wake up each day excited about what the day holds but I’ll be totally honest, it’s not always fun or easy or safe. That’s where faith in a higher power comes in. I believe God wants to take care of each and every person on this planet. Don’t ask me how He’s able to do that because I have no idea, I’ll leave all the logistics up to Him. Some things we just weren’t meant to know, else our brains would…
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Maybe it’s a desk job. Maybe it’s professional sports. Maybe it’s working in a hospital, or inventing the next iPhone, or bagging groceries at Publix. We all can fit in somewhere.

Geez, I’m way off track.

I didn’t mean to go all Tony Robins on you.

I guess the moral of this post is that sometimes what might look like a devastating blow is actually the best thing that could ever happen. Take Bachelor in Paradise, for example.
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The rose ceremony happens and you don’t get a rose. But instead of crying and your makeup smearing all over your cheeks, you skip out with a big smile on your face and hope in your heart that paradise is actually not televised.

The adventure might only be beginning! Here’s to your adventure, my adventure, and enjoying the journey…

-Out of the Wilderness

The Ville du Havre, a ship that inspired “It Is Well With My Soul”

Do you remember what you were doing in 1876? I bet you weren’t writing one of the best songs ever. Neither was I. But we also weren’t experiencing major life tragedies like the writer of It Is Well. Actually, the song was originally called Ville du Havre. The title came from a ship by the same name. A ship that carried the writer’s wife and 4 daughters. If you want to know more about that story, I’d strongly recommend you look it up because it’s worth knowing about. But in short, the ship sank and all 4 daughters perished. As he was carried by boat to reconnect with his wife, he floated past where his daughters died, and soon after wrote Ville du Havre/It Is WellVille_du_HavreOK that’s heavy stuff. You know what will lighten the mood? Remembering that this song is so well-known, even your weird uncle, yeah, that one, has sung it. But still, I keep coming back to the 2 performances below. Watch and let your heart be moved!

First up is a haunting rendition of the song. I say haunting because of the woman’s voice. It’s low and raspy. Smoky and mysterious. Definitely adds an element of soul, and the guy does, too. I’d be acting silly not to mention the quality of his voice. Plus, it’s easy to see that he not only sings the lyrics, but he believes them. I love listening to someone sing from their heart. The trio is called Selah. Since this video, they’ve had a rotation or two in the female singer slot, but this girl, Nicol Smith (now married, Nicol Sponberg) is the Selah I love the most. And is it just me, or does she look exactly like Ashley S. from The Bachelor?

Ashley S from the Bachelor

Ashley S from the Bachelor (above) looks like Nicol Smith (in video below)

This second video is a newer take on the classic hymn. Typically I run away from variations of traditional lyrics and melodies, but not this one. It’s amazing. It’s so good I didn’t even notice they left the original chorus out of the song. The first guy to sing has a good voice, but then the girl comes in and wow, she’ll captivate you with her tone and vibrato. But then that first guy comes back in and steals back your attention with his sound. To keep it simple, I’d say with these singers and this song, “It just works.” Plus, I actually love when the girl messes up. See if you catch it. It’s a subtle reminder that beautiful doesn’t mean perfection. In fact, sometimes there is beauty in imperfection… because it’s real. These are 4 beautiful minutes you need to watch.
-Out of the Wilderness

On having jury duty and getting laid off in the same week

Well, jury duty was very interesting. Maybe I’d have a different opinion if it was more than getting a chance to observe in real-life something I only typically see on TV. And now I’d like to thank my parents for raising me well enough that court is something I only typically see on TV. As a potential juror, I experienced a lot in the two days required of me. It was fascinating, even if the actual case sounded somewhat trivial. One person wants money, the other doesn’t want to give them money. Which means it was a civil case, as opposed to criminal.

“You can’t handle the truth!”

That line from A Few Good Men? Criminal case.

“Show me the money!”

That line from Jerry Maguire? Not a court case at all, but more likely to be said in a civil case unless you’re Cuba Gooding, Jr. Then you’re saying it all the time because hey, you’ve got the kwan.

One thing I learned is that in a civil case, the plaintiff has the burden of proof to show the accusations made are more likely true. In criminal, it’s the “beyond a reasonable doubt” we always here on TV (again, something I’ve never heard in real life, thanks Mom and Dad). I also learned about cases that involve someone stealing the spouse of someone else. Yeah, it has a name… Alienation of Affection. Crazy stuff.

“What’s love got to do with it?”

Evidently nothing. Alienation of Affection is a civil case because it’s about money. Unless O.J. Simpson’s involved. Then it would probably turn into criminal. But he’s innocent. I’m just speaking hypothetically.

On day 2 of the jury selection process, it was my turn to answer questions from the judge and the 2 attorneys. This is where they ask a laundry list of questions to find out if I’m fit to be a juror on this particular case. The thing is, I would’ve been a juror if they’d ask me all the questions before our lunch break.

Timing is everything.

After our 1-hour break for lunch, the judge began asking me his questions. The first, “What’s your employment?” My answer, “Actually, during lunch I was laid off.” What!? Laid off during lunch!? That never happens! I don’t know if it was compassion, or doubting I could make a clear judgement, but I was released from the jury. So the case was left up to 12 other people not named Ben. All of which had jobs. So I got broken up with twice on the same day! Ouchy. I returned to work to face the music.

“Gentlemen, this is the final rose of the night.”

Those words from the Bachelorette definitely apply to my last day at work. A lot of people were eliminated, and I was one of them. I found people throughout the building and said my goodbyes. Hugs. Laughter. Encouragement. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry in the limousine ride to the airport. Wait, what? No. I collected my things, got in my car, and drove away from the parking garage, knowing as I left this was the last time I’d be at CMT for a long time. Things will forever be different.

I got home to be greeted by the wagging tails of my dogs. We went to the dog park. I ate dinner. I watched another episode of Arrested Development.

“Just so you have it… because then at least you’ll have it.”

What I have is confidence that I did good work at CMT. I worked hard. People liked me. A few of my closest friends came from my time in that building. Some of them I even Snapchat with. I’m different now than I was when I started way back in 2006. I’ve got more confidence in what I can offer professionally. I’ve grown and blossomed more than just professionally. I have no regrets working for CMT, who’s most popular show right now features a lifestyle I only typically see on TV. Yes, I’m referring to Party Down South (thanks Mom and Dad!).

On to the next thing!
-Out of the Wilderness