The Bachelorette- something I liked about Tayshia Adams

Say what you want about Tayshia Adams taking over the Bachelorette when Clare went ga-ga over Dale and swiftly left the show… with Dale… (and most people LOVE Tayshia), I noticed one of her Bachelorette habits that I really liked. If you’re not familiar with the show, one thing they do is have group dates. This is where the Bachelorette goes on a date with a handful of guys. At the end of this date it’s expected that there will be one rose handed out which guarantees the person receiving it stays around for another week.

Usually there is a moment where the person gets the rose then meanders around to find the one contestant they want to give it to. With Tayshia in this situation, she did just that but before giving the rose to one guy, she would single out a few of them and say really positive things about her time with them. She complimented them and built them up and then would give the rose to one of them. I think that sort of approach probably had a great affect on the morale of the guys individually and as a group.

Break it to me gently, as the song goes. At least it wasn’t a blow to all the other guys when just one got the group date rose. There were compliments given and I think even for the guys not getting the rose, this softened the edge of not getting the rose.

I like the idea of being complimentary like she was in these situations. I’ve already incorporated a similar thing in my own world, and I will try to do it more and more as I have the opportunity. However, I will never be auditioning for the show.

Do you think her attempt at building the guys up can apply and have benefits in the real world? Chime in below with your comments!

-Out of the Wilderness

Will You Accept This Prose?

If dating were only as easy as The Bachelor makes it seem! The show is more of a scientific experiment than it is a true attempt at finding love. That’s why when you include the unknown variable, the X factor called “life,” the experiment most often blows up.

Jake Pavelka

If you can prove the success rate of that show is higher than the number of Yanni discs you have in your collection, then I will be a little more optimystique (optimism + still a little confused on where they mysteriously find the contestants for The Bachelor). Until then, I will have the sincerest devotion to the old-fashioned romantic moments I hear about when my parents or grandparents tell me how their stories began.

In my time, though, dating is a little different from theirs. Only slightly different because although the form or fashion in which relationships happen has changed dramatically (with the onslaught of social sites on the internet, ability to travel great distances quickly, revolution in sound technology, and, oh yeah, the internet!), the fundamentals of solid dating relationships remain the same: communication, common interests, mutual friends, keys to imagination and similar world views. The Bachelor includes one, maybe two of these fundamentals, and therefore, is starting behind the eight ball from the very beginning. The reason the success rate’s extremely low is because the relationships are formed in a controlled environment, just like an experiment. Once the show is over and the elements are introduced into the “real world,” the variables can no longer be controlled. Variables like career goals, family, location, ethnicity, and many more. To further my argument that dating is much harder than The Bachelor reveals, I give you… exhibit A: High School Ben Wilder.

My dating life got off to a slow start and to be perfectly honest, my first real kiss was in 10th grade. If I could tell you that secret with little to no embarrassment, then I’ve made progress in the 15 years gone by since. I often refer to my high school love life as “the private years” but again, to be perfectly honest, shrouding those years in privacy makes my love life sound so much more mysterious and exciting than it actually was. Tracy the softball player*. That’s who I kissed. Out of silence my love life burst into song!

Whether we were listening to “Sukiyaki” by 4 P.M. or the best of Yanni at the time, I can’t say. I was just happy it happened. A quick encouragement to readers patiently awaiting their first kiss: Hang in there and dare to dream!

To sum up, I hope these personal reflections of passion (I wouldn’t call my example of dating passionate, actually) help to prove the point that in dating, as in real life, sometimes you got to learn the hard way, not the live-on-television way. And yes I’m talking to you, too, Jake Pavelka. Vienna? Really? Reconsider Sheila Lidner (or return to suprise Ali Fedotowsky this season) before you tell Vienna, in one of your best Yanni voices, “niki nana.” However, if you end up marrying Vienna I’ll make a toast in celebration of life… and I’ll look up and whistle while I’m walking.

*I refer to Tracy’s love life in high school as “the chameleon days,” because I later found out she is now a lesbian. Hope it wasn’t because of me!