The Side Hug

“Well, it was nice to meet you, Greta,” Michael said.

“Nice to meet you, too, Michael,” she responds.

Michael takes a step towards her and opens his arms wide. Michael hasn’t touched a girl in a while. Unfortunately, Greta can see the desparation on his face. This does not sit well with Greta, and a hug would only make her feel vulnerable.

This kind of situation happens every day. Fortunately for Greta, she’s skilled in the art of…

Women have been executing side hugs for centuries. Why? Because men have been hugging them for centuries. I am not a woman, so any women readers out there can feel free to chime in, but I believe the side hug is used as a fantastic counter-manuever to a full frontal hug. Not unlike a “thank you” to an “I love you.” The idea here is to shift your shoulders next to the hugger, deflecting any uncomfort that could arise. Let’s check in with Greta and Michael.

As Michael steps in closer in an attempt to wrap his arms around her, Greta instinctively turns her body while extending only one arm towards Michael. This is key, so pay attention here. The other arm must remain lifeless, as if crushed by a large rock, lest Michael see movement and assume a front hug is happening.

As Greta extends the arm, she must also swiftly shift her outside shoulder up and away from Michael. In a successful side hug, Greta will be facing the same direction as Michael, a clear sign a frontal embrace will not be happening, and an even clearer sign that he’ll be going home alone again tonight. Lonely Michael goes back to the drawing board, while Greta can go home feeling good about herself and her ability to master the art of…

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2 thoughts on “The Side Hug

  1. LOL! I personally am not a side hug person. I prefer real hugs. BUT i have definately come across other people, men and women alike who do side hugs OR that really cheap barely give you a good squeeze front hug, it’s like someone saying, “ew” or “i really don’t want to hug you, so this is the best I can do so I look nice”. Its really funny though.

    • You’re right, men can also master the side hug. And I almost prefer the side hug over the cheap “ew” frontal hug, like you mentioned, haha. Usually real hugs are more personal, for sure. Thanks for reading!

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