This post is brought to you by Michael Bloomberg’s tie. Taking on a life of its own during last night’s interview on the Tonight Show, his blue tie wants you to know, “I’ll distract everyone from the nonsense you speak about. And no one will notice how weird it looks when you laugh.”
More interview clips can be found on the Tonight Show YouTube page. To be honest, I want to get in an inner tube and ride down his tie. I want to climb to the top of it and plant a flag that says, “I conquered the tie.” I want to flick it back into place. I want to submit it to Guinness as the the tallest roller coaster on someone’s chest. I want to jump off of it like a motorcycle ramp to the future.
-Out of the Wilderness