This post is brought to you by… Michael Bloomberg’s tie!

This post is brought to you by Michael Bloomberg’s tie. Taking on a life of its own during last night’s interview on the Tonight Show, his blue tie wants you to know, “I’ll distract everyone from the nonsense you speak about. And no one will notice how weird it looks when you laugh.”

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tie close up

More interview clips can be found on the Tonight Show YouTube page. To be honest, I want to get in an inner tube and ride down his tie. I want to climb to the top of it and plant a flag that says, “I conquered the tie.” I want to flick it back into place. I want to submit it to Guinness as the the tallest roller coaster on someone’s chest. I want to jump off of it like a motorcycle ramp to the future.

-Out of the Wilderness

Oops… I did it again

There I am laying on the couch, it’s about 11pm. The very cute Pitch Perfect 2 star Anna Kendrick just wrapped up Egg Russian Roulette on the Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon, and up next is the muscly Terry Crews. Take a break and watch him kill in this Old Spice commercial:

So the plan was to watch the entire show, because I really wanted to see Nate Ruess perform as the musical guest. I said to myself, “I’m just gonna shut my eyes and listen till Nate performs.” Huge mistake.

I woke up halfway through Late Night with Seth Meyers.

If I’ve done it once, I’ve done it a thousand times. I close my eyes with the best intentions and wake up… well, I wake up, which was totally not part of the plan because I wasn’t supposed to fall asleep to begin with. Next time I decide to “rest my eyes,” I need to think again. What’ll happen is more predictable than Jimmy getting egg on his face!

-Out of the Wilderness