On A Flight To Las Vegas

High above the clouds I saw the mounds of dirt.
I fly from a city of sound to a city of lights.
Stay up all night, lose a lot.
Keep playing try to make it right.
My eyes see many but I feel lonely with many people that barely know me.

A city that, by day, seems ok but at night changes sight.
People hungry and trying to satisfy that with whatever they might find to fill it.

I find myself at least willing to relate,
‘Cause I see in me some size and shape of an empty space.
That I try to fill with whatever I might find to fill that place.

I confess to God if he hears that I fail to follow through on what I’d like to do,
what’s right to do and if he’d speak to me, I’m all ears.
Have been for years, to the point of tears.
Not knowing what he wants or what he thinks or if he knows my fears.

I confess I need him.
On my knees again.
I trust no one to understand where my heart is or where it’s been.

Up in the sky I see him.
I look at the earth and know it’s him.
I know he’s around even without sound.
My eyes see and I don’t feel so lonely anymore.

He desires a better life than I choose for myself for me.
But I constantly choose to live selfishly.
I choose the chains the keep me from being free.
I choose to take what I can have right now.
But higher than the clouds, it’s different here.
I want to stay soaring above, I am in his love.
My eyes, mind and heart are clear.
Evil no where near.

So I gain the confidence to take on what waits for me when the plane brakes.
So goodbye clouds, goodbye easy.
If I have to, God, give me the strength to land, to get off this plane.
To hold your hand and hide in your name.

I now face the world on it’s level.
No longer too high. Evil points to me as a bullseye.
But it’s on my back ‘cause I’m facing one direction.
And I choose to move.
Forward.

An Unschooled Look Into Personalities

I stumbled across an email I sent to a friend of mine in 2005 (Yahoo! saves sent messages). When I saw his name again, I was reminded of a social phenomenon. In each group of friends I’ve been in, there’s always “the weird guy.” In 2005 I was living in Tallahassee, FL after graduating college. The friends I spent the majority of time with were the inner circle. Then the outer circle. Then the sattelites. The “weird guy” could infiltrate any of these levels. I began to think about who else was in these groups. I came up with some labels.

“The Weird Guy”: Girls are uncomfortable around him because he’s either asked three or more of them out on a date, or one of them more than three times. That or he uses his eyes when he should be using his words, ie. he’s staring.

“Indiana Jones of the South(west Airlines)”: The friend that’s in town one weekend and out the next. This guy/girl is a bit mysterious, and is attractive to the opposite sex because of their adventurous nature and limited availability.

“The Party”: In a make or break scenario, this person always makes. When they arrive, the party starts.

“The Thinker”: Who you go to when you need someone wiser than yourself.

“The Satellite”: Whether you know it or not, and whether you like it or not, they’re always hovering around.

“The Dark Horse”: Quietly munching on carrots in the back of the super bowl party, he/she is mysterious, but funny when it counts, and lends a hand when needed.

“The Database”: Full of knowledge on many subjects.

“Captains of IMDb”: The person that quotes well-known movie lines and some abstract quotes only other “Captains” would know.

“Justin Texterlake”: The cool guy that texts all the time. He’ll text you when he’s with other people, and text other people when he’s with you.

Deal Breakers in a Dating Relationship

Everyone seems to have their deal-breakers. I never really thought about mine until the term “deal-breakers” became popular a few years ago. Typically I stay away from trendy words or phrases because they annoy me. Anyone remember the book, “I Kissed Dating Goodbye“? When I was in college that book had it’s fifteen minutes of fame, but not with me. I always joked about it, something like this, “Oh, you kissed dating goodbye? Well, I kissed dating!” Ok, it’s probably a good book with valuable information that will keep the reader from heartache and miscommunication with the opposite sex, but as 1990s rock group DC Talk sang, “Some people gotta learn the hard way.” To be clear about what image I’m projecting of myself in college, I didn’t date much at all. Mainly because I did stuff like this:

I wanted to date and learn the hard way, and sadly, in some cases I did. However, with the experiences and failed attempts at long relationships, I learned what I liked. I also learned what I didn’t like, which would later become my deal-breakers. Early on in college I created of list of things I wanted (deal-makers, perhaps?) in an ideal mate. Things like a goofy sense of humor, enjoying but not understanding sports,a dog lover, a healthy disregard for cats and the Florida Gators, on and on the list went. I was very specific in what I was looking for and what I knew I wanted. Probably too specific because now, as a thirty-one year old adult male, my list has shrunk to a few general yet more absolute characteristics. It’s also easier now to narrow down the potential field using the list of deal-breakers rather than the deal-makers. What I mean is this: instead of finding what I want to live with, it’s easier to eliminate the ones who have what I cannot live with.

They Call Him Flipper

In California, St. Teresa, or the East coast of Viet Nam, it really doesn’t matter, I love the beach! There’s an exciting and mysterious attraction to the ocean, the sand and all the creatures in the deep. Here in middle Tennessee, many folks will offer up a lake as an acceptable alternative, but to that I’ll shout, “Exhibit A!” Here’s the Exhibit A: when’s the last time there was breaking news about a lake creature found thousands of feet deep? Exhibit B: when have you seen photos of exotic locations on the coast of Tennessee? Never! Exhibit B Attachment 1: Tennessee doesn’t have a coast. Exhibit B Attachment 2: even if Tennessee had a coast, you’d have to drive through legions of University of Tennessee fans, with their car flags and door magnets just to get there. Slam #1: I can think of fifteen things I rather do than talk about the University of Tennessee. And ten more rather than the SEC! (that was Slam #2)

The beach is a much happier thought, and much more mysterious, thus Exhibit C: ocean explorers are finding new species every few months. Side Note 1: the funny thing is the species have been there all along, we just haven’t been able to get to where they are. As technology advances, so does discovery. Segue 1: Personal discovery.

I go fishing in the Gulf of Mexico a couple of times a year with my dad. Honestly, I only enjoy the actual fishing part of it when I catch fish. Most of what I enjoy is the unknown. Boating two hours away from the shore will put you right in the middle of the wild. I’ve seen sea turtles, sharks, manta rays, man-o-wars, manatees, crocodiles, and my all-time favorite… porpoises. Side note 2: Growing up in the states united in the East compelled me to fall in love with three things: seafood, the sun, and the Miami Dolphins.

Segue 2: the Miami Dolphins were named after the mammal in which I intend to elaborate on. Dolphins are very similar to porpoises and I’m not going to school you on the differences. In North Florida, we called them porpoises. Proposal 1: In all I’ve seen of ocean life, these creatures are the only ones that choose fun. On a large ocean liner, they’ll swim speedily at the bow. Behind a large troller they’ll dart in and out of the wake. Or off in the distance, they’ll jump high into a flip. Years ago I had the rare privilege of watching a porpoise swim upside down underneath a small watercraft I was on. It was amazing, amazing! I still remember the color of the belly and how excited I was to witness this.

 

Look at a porpoise in the face and you’ll swear they’re smiling.

Proposal 2: It’s as if all the other creatures of the sea act out of survival instinct, while the porpoise looks for ways to be happy. Analogy 1: Sea creatures are like the cart rides at Disney World. They turn a little to the left and right, but they’re locked on a track to go one direction. Instinct is the big honkin’ metal bar underneath the cart that keeps it on track. The carts, or fish, are slave to it. The porpoise? The porpoise is a Volkswagon Beatle named Herbie. They are free to go anywhere and do anything, and sometimes, they even go bananas! That was Corny Reference 1. But it’s true. Porpoises have instinct, but no metal bar. I like to think that they’re aware of our happiness with them and that’s why they jump out of the water, swim upside down underneath our boats, and help Sandy and Bud catch a group of criminals… because we like them and they like us.

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