Out of the Wilderness

If you haven’t been to Nashville before, consider this your invitation. Live music pretty much anytime of the day- from rock to country to bluegrass to classical, the city has it all. There’s a zoo, not to mention a couple of professional sports teams (go Preds)! And downtown Nashville was also the site of this year’s annual company Christmas party. I brought a buddy along with me and we sure had a good time. He met a lot of my work friends and a lot of my work friends’ friends. There was one friend of a friend in particular that latched on to him pretty early in the night. She was a cute brunette, dressed well, with a smile that seemed quite genuine. However, let me set the record straight: though I’m being very complimentary, I was not taking interest in her. But if you’re ever in a situation like this and you are interested, you’ll be heartbroken when…

#6 The next day she asks about your friend.

That’s exactly what happened to me. I got a text from my friend asking if the guy I brought was single. So let’s act as if I was interested in the girl. This text would have been devastating to receive, right? I would’ve had to consult The Bro Code for advice on how to handle it, but I’m 99% sure it’s always “bros before hoes.” Translated that means, the friendship you have with your guy friend is more important than making out. Although in my case, it often meant: girls you like are going to like your brother more than you. Ouch! But his face is more symmetric than mine, so I get it.

Getting back to the main point, and it’s pretty obvious: if the girl you like is showing more interest in someone else, move on. This sign is in the same arena as “Trusting Your Intuition” because often times you’ll get a vibe if she’s digging someone else.

But anyway, like I said earlier, go Preds!
-Out of the Wilderness

I learned this sign the hard way. It was back when I was on Match.com. I was emailing back and forth with a potential and we decided to go on a date. Great! Our first date had all the elements of being successful. A beautiful night in Nashville and tickets to a Ben Rector show. But guys, take note of this…

#6 when you hang out, she appears to be unhappy.

I have a fault and it’s this: I immediately decide whether a relationship’s going to work in the first few minutes. So the moment she parked in my driveway and we met, I heard a game show buzzer and saw a big red X hovering over her head. Not good. But hey, maybe this was the beginning of a good friendship. Plus, we’re going to a good show in Nashville. And if it wasn’t for her sour attitude… the. whole. night. it would have been a great show! I guess I had a big red X over my head, too. But that’s not a good excuse for asking to leave early. Sorry, Ben Rector. We never spoke again and I think it’s safe to say I’ll never see her in a white dress.

A lot can be said about a woman’s intuition. Well guess what laaaaadies? We have intuition, too! Bam. Got her. Seriously, we do. It takes longer to develop, sure. To the junior high guy, intuition is just a word from last year’s spelling bee. College, we begin to understand dating advice from our fathers because it matches up with our budding intuition. Our development is a bit slower, but it’s there. So guys, when you happen upon a coed that strikes your fancy, listen when…

#7 Your gut tells you to move on.

It comes down to trust. Especially if you’ve already started pursuing her. If your gut is telling you she’s not interested, trust it. You’re probably not wrong. Granted, the river banks directing the path of your intuition are formed by how she responds to you and your advances, it’s still up to you to float. Keep your head above water by knowing where the boundaries are, and act accordingly. Plus, if you go against your intuition, you run the risk of capsizing your boat. And your boat in this scenario is any chance you have of dating her friends.

Let’s say you do get her digits. I know, we’re speaking hypothetically because if you’re like me, asking a girl for her phone number is rare. But let’s move past that because you’re the champ who got her number, all 10 of ’em! Conversations start out light and fun through texting. But as feelings get stronger, you realize:

#8 You Start Conversations and She Ends Them.

Not good, champ. Not good. This type of scenario happened to me when I asked a girl for her number. And let me just say, that was the best estate sale I’ve ever been to. Not only was she cute, she was a lot younger than the stuff being sold (in a related note: you can find some of that stuff on my Etsy site). So we texted a lot the first few days. We even met up for lunch once. But as the weeks went by, I noticed a trend. I started almost every conversation. Maybe she’s old-fashioned but I bet even old-fashioned girls mailed a letter to a guy without being prompted every once in a while. I know being the initiator of conversations isn’t a bad thing. It’s flattering, I’m sure, for a girl to be pursued this way. But if you take a slightly different angle, the picture is more clear. Here’s what I mean. It’s the back end of conversations that holds the clues. If the person who ends it is never the person to start the next one, that’s a sign. Take a look below: