Underachiever… and Proud of it, Man!

I was a middle school student in Stafford, Virginia when “The Simpsons” was a really popular show. Actually, I’ll toot my own horn… I could do Bart Simpson’s voice pretty accurately. Phrases like “Don’t have a cow, man” and Homer’s “Doh!” were part of middle school conversations, the show’s relevance solidified by Bart Simpson even having a song.

It was in this part of my educational career where clothes and shoes became a status symbol. Michael Jordan shoes, Starter jackets, wearing clothes backwards were all part of middle school. “The Simpsons” t-shirts were common also. The one I had featured Bart Simpson with a simple, rebellious message:

At some point my parents said I couldn’t wear that shirt anymore. I guess they had decided the idea of underachieving wasn’t something they appreciated. I mean, how many successful people have ever boasted about being lazy? I didn’t understand it then but now many years later, I get it. It reminds me of those stickers you’ll sometimes see on cars that play off of the 26.2 or 13.1 stickers. Have you seen the ones that say 0.0? I have more thoughts about those here. Since those days in middle school, I’ve developed a real distaste for laziness and maybe it all goes back to how my parents handled that Bart Simpson shirt.

But “rest” is healthy… an important part of quality of life, keeping ourselves from injury or sickness, and taking time to recharge. Rest can look like laziness but it’s very different. Total transparency: there have been many times in my life where I’ve been lazy. Sometimes I just don’t want to get out of bed. On cloudy days, I just feel less productive. Sunny days I feel like those people in the Skyrizi commercials– nothing is everythiiiiiing.

My parents did a wonderful job of teaching me the importance of being active, of work, and of earning. I give them all the credit for that. It’s translated into so many areas of my life from work to recreation, from pursuing hobbies to exercise. The most recent thing I’ve achieved is finishing a sprint triathlon. No, it wasn’t an Ironman or even a half Ironman. The next level down is Olympic triathlon, I haven’t even done that yet! Go down another level and that’s where I am: Sprint. This one was a 600-yard swim, 13-mile bike, and a 5K run. I’ve done them before but this is the first one that had an epic bike crash. It may or may not have been caused by a traffic cone that I clumsily rolled into with my bike. I’m usually not accident-prone but one ER visit and a lot of bandages later, here I am nursing a stitched up wound and a few road burns. I say all that because I want to include a photo from the race that I love. I want to set it up though, by saying I’m not trying to impress anybody. There’s nothing impressive about going over the handlebars after being such a goofball that I hit a stationary traffic cone. But there’s a bill coming in the mail from the ER and I know it’s going to be a chunk of change. So why not get a few blog posts out of the whole experience, you know? Here’s one of my favorite photos from last Saturday… crossing the finish line and the faces of the onlookers is pretty funny.

I may make clumsy mistakes while I’m swimming, cycling, or running… but I would rather do that than ever be called a proud underachiever.

-Out of the Wilderness

Harris Walz Parody Meant to be Serious – A Huge Flop!

I came across an X post from Clay Travis about a new ad supporting Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. His post is actually misleading– the commercial below WASN’T created or endorsed by the Harris-Walz team.

In fact, if Mama-la and the Knucklehead ever see it, I’m 99% sure they’d disavow it immediately. Not because they’re embarrassed by it (they should be), but because Democrats still can’t define what a man is (or a woman). Take a look at the commercial better suited as a Babylon Bee parody.

And Republicans are the weird ones? I guess when weird is normal in a Democrat’s world, normal IS weird. But like I said, Harris and Walz are not responsible for the ad; it was made by a crazy fan. Objectively speaking… the production is professional and it had me laughing but for all the wrong reasons. The he/him who made the promo had this to say about it:

With the rise of role models like Tim Walz and Doug Emhoff on the national stage, I think the left is finally finding its footing on how to talk about masculinity.

Um, what!? Tim’s habitual lying and Doug Emhoff impregnating a mistress… such wholesome men! The guy who made this video clearly only has gay friends. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the most manly guy in the world, but there are things even average straight men don’t say. Here are 4: I eat carburetors for breakfast. Accept my full-throated endorsement. I’m a man, man. I’m not afraid of women.

The script wreaks of overcompensating. It’s like the guy Googled “Ivan Drago” and crafted his script accordingly. No man talks about car parts that way. No man has to tell you he’s a man. No man is completely unafraid of women. And yes, it’s healthy to have a fear of women in the sense of awe and reverence. Women are incredible and you’d be crazy to not be a little afraid (in a complimentary way) of their insight, abilities, and power.

Here’s another peculiar video from the same he/him. Production value: High. Cringe-level: Higher.

Something tells me there’s a watchlist out there with this video producer’s name on it, a restraining order just a signature away from all Tim Walz events.

-Out of the Wilderness

Tim Walz on $25K Down Payment Assistance: “You’ll Pay It Back”

Kamala Harris and Tim Walz, the Democratic nominees for President and Vice President, recently unveiled their plan to help first time home buyers. Besides the fine print (for instance: if your parents have ever owned a home, you’re out of luck), Tim Walz said something the other day as part of his speech in Nevada that seemed to skirt by the supporters at his rally. I haven’t seen or heard it brought up in any news reports either. What the pair has promised is $25,000 down payment assistance from the government. Lots of people have pointed out that this will only compel sellers to jack up the prices by $25K but who cares, right? It appears as though Democrats just like to make promises that corral voters to their corner (remember the college debt forgiveness promised 4 years ago right before election time) without genuinely believing it will amount to anything. It’s all about that vote.

But then there’s knucklehead Tim Walz. Sometimes he gets “caught up in the rhetoric”– which is alarming to hear coming from someone who is in such a powerful position– and in part of his Nevada speech he said something he probably didn’t mean to say out loud. In context, he was talking about the $25K down payment thing and practically under his breath he said, “You’ll pay it back,” while the arena cheered in support.

Walz didn’t stop to explain, just moved along to the next empty promise. I’m sure he’s glad no one really noticed because if this “assistance” is really a loan, that’s a big deal and such a dangerous thing to hide from citizens. Voters should know that loans come at a cost– like the interest you’ll have to pay back on that $25,000. If it’s true, not only are they misleading everyone, but also just imagine how devastating it can be for young first time home buyers who think they got free money only to find out they owe the government $25,000 plus interest.

Washington Democrats who tell you everything you want to hear are vile. What they want more than money or fame… is power. Lies seems to be granting them that wish but I hope news outlets will point out the lie about the $25K loan soon before gullible and naive voters cast their ballots.

-Out of the Wilderness

An Environmentally Friendly RV Roof Cover!

It’s hard to believe I’ve been living in my fun Gulf Stream Vintage travel trailer for nearly 3 years now. What started out as a wild idea turned into selling my home in Nashville, buying a van to live in full-time, selling that van, buying a travel trailer, and camping around the southeast (and so far, as far west as Texas; recaps here) visiting awesome locations all over the place. My favorite state park– no wait– my LEAST favorite state park is St. Andrews State Park near Panama City Beach, Florida. Definitely don’t go visit that one. It’s not incredibly beautiful, with idyllic sunset views, big sandy beaches, and luxurious campground accommodations. Yeah, don’t go there. 😉

But when I’m not towing the camper, I have it parked on family property. That’s all well and good except in the very beginning, I didn’t think about getting a shelter for it. Some kind of barn or carport. That would’ve protected the roof of the trailer from outdoor elements like sun, rain, leaves, etc. Actually, one of the biggest benefits would’ve been noise reduction. When it rains, it’s pretty loud. One of my pups has developed anxiety from loud noises so when it rains (and a Florida summer basically consists of rain every single day), she gets all shaky and whatnot.

I started looking at ways to cover the trailer with these as my guideline… 1. Temporary, 2. Discrete, 3. Not super expensive. Those metal roofs are surprisingly more pricey than I thought they’d be. Plus I’d have to also think about how to anchor them down, adding more costs. I also didn’t want to bring in something that draws attention to the camper. Nor did I want anything permanent since I’m technically on someone else’s land. I won’t be pouring concrete for a pad, or doing anything that can’t be undone.

As I researched, the idea of using the nearby trees became very interesting. So that’s what I’ve done (and it’s still a work in progress) to cover my trailer, and this would work for an RV, boat, etc. I found a sun sail at Home Depot that’s waterproof, lightweight, and strong. The trick to this was finding the right shape. Of course I’d love to have a rectangle outlining the shape of the trailer but I’m limited to what anchors are available (trees, house roof, etc). So I went with a triangle-shaped sun sail made by ColourTree. Here are a few pics with the sun sail positioned to cover as much of the camper as possible. I’ll be adding a second sun sail to cover the back end of the trailer, as well. A work in progress but I’m happy with it so far…

What do you think? Do you have other environmentally-friendly ideas to help give some shade and noise reduction to the trailer? Chime in below!

-Out of the Wilderness

The Triathlon That Ended With a Trip to the ER – Part 2 (with Injury Photos)

**WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS DETAILED PICTURES OF BLOOD AND INJURY**

Fall Guy. I almost saved it. But then in the blink of an eye and yet also in slow motion, I went over the handlebars and slid across the road. It was spectacular enough that somehow I have strawberries on both sides of my hips (still haven’t figured out how that is even possible!). I remember putting my hands down to brace for impact but everything after that is just folklore at this point. One thing is for sure, though, Garmin tracking nailed it.

Superbad. What had happened was I got distracted by a bystander. I shouldn’t have, but I looked back because I thought he was trying to get my attention. Maybe a water bottle had fallen out? Part of my race gear out of place? I had no idea. Nothing was gained by looking back, though. Absolutely nothing. When I turned my gaze to focus on riding again, the traffic cone was unavoidable. It slowed me down immediately but for a second I thought I’d escape without anything embarrassing happening. Nope. Instead of deflecting away, the cone stuck in its place which sent my front fork into a jackknife and up and over I went. Hands scraped. Shoulder, too. The chain must’ve slipped down to the small chain ring exposing the teeth of the large chain ring, a few of which sliced through part of my leg (although I didn’t know that at the time). There were also a couple of bad road burns on my knee. This wouldn’t have been a big deal except for the amount of blood now streaming down my leg. It felt like a superbad situation that might require attention before I could finish the race. In the chaos of the aftermath, I only thought to check my bike when I probably should’ve also inspected my legs, shoulders, etc. The tires were OK, pedals fine, chain was a little out of sync by still grabbing onto the small chain ring. I distinctly remember hopping back on the bike, thinking, “Either I’m screwed or I’m good to go, so might as well give it a shot!” Back to the grind of finishing the bike leg of this triathlon.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I decided to keep racing until I finished or was dragged off the course. I kept glancing down at my right leg, watching the blood ooze further and further until it was soaking my sock. Without further ado, here are photos and remember the warning: if blood or injuries make you nauseous, this is where you want to close this tab and go pet a kitten.

photo by Daniel Cook @RunDMC_88]

[photo by Heather Tucker @Tuck_and_Run]

[photo by Heather Tucker @Tuck_and_Run]
[photo by Heather Tucker @Tuck_and_Run]
[photo by Heather Tucker @Tuck_and_Run]

Bubble Boy. For the next couple of weeks I’ll be walking as gingerly as possible so the fancy horizontal mattress stitching stays in tact and I don’t get any infections. Doctor’s orders! I’m not allowed to swim anywhere or do any leg exercises for a while.

Final Destination. OK, now that the gruesome stuff is out of the way… it’s time to show some statistics from the race. I usually have 3 goals– where I finish overall, within my age group, and my overall time. This race I wanted to finish in the top 50 overall, top 5 of age group, and under 1:20:00. Here are the results…

I’m most happy about the run, especially with an injury that was worse than I thought in the moment. The cycling was a bit of a disappointment (crazy headwinds and the clumsy crash) and the swim was not a good test of any improvements (because of the venue change, water depth, etc.)… but I loved the race. Just having the opportunity and ability is such a gift that I don’t ever want to gloss over. This crash, as mild as it was considering how bad it could’ve been, is serving as a reminder that some people are in situations where they want to exercise but can’t. From the first place finisher to the last, the officials, the volunteers, the fans, everyone out there crushed it. It was a challenging race that I hope to do again next year…

…but maybe without the trip to the ER.

-Out of the Wilderness