Marriage worship

How many of you have watched romantic comedies where all the problems are solved when the man and woman finally become a couple? It’s the plot of a few of my favorite movies (Hitch, The Notebook, Serendipity) and EVERY Hallmark movie. There’s the main character who is dating someone who is clearly the opposite of a good match, then a love interest pops on screen who initially has conflicts with the main character but is clearly the perfect match for them romantically. An hour and a half later bells are ringing and everyone’s cry-laughing and hugging.

Gosh, I love The Notebook. I just watched this boat/swan scene again and I’m not crying, YOU’RE crying. But anyway, what I’ve noticed as a single man in my 30s and 40s about marriage specifically are a few things. One, it’s a wonderful thing most of the time. I’m not here to bash the institution of marriage at all. I hope to one day experience it. There are many great things about it (so I’ve heard), but there’s something else…

Marriage worship.

The idea that a relationship (and marriage, specifically) is the highest of life goals one can pursue and achieve. As a single person, this idea can be so hurtful. Imagine going up to a woman who hasn’t had children yet and talking to her all about how great being a parent is. Try approaching a blind person to tell them how beautiful the sunset was last night. Do either of those examples sound like a good time for the childless woman or the blind person?

We’ve put marriage on a pedestal and that’s not at all where it belongs. Yes, it should be sacred and cherished, guarded and nurtured, but I fear that in America it’s become a thing we worship. The lesson is that a person is not reaching their full potential until they have a love in their life. We’ve been conditioned to think this way and it’s so unhealthy.

I need to stop watching these clips before I include them. You’re crying again. But to get back to the point… it bothers me how marriage is worshipped in this country.

You complete me.

That’s a classic line and it sounds good, but sorry, no. You can be a complete person with or without a wife or husband. I’m a Christian so my slant on the solution is this: I would rather worship God and if I ever get married, yay. If I don’t, yay. I hope and pray that at the end of my life if I’ve never been married, I don’t feel as though I didn’t reach some sort of man-made goal and have despair about it.

Let’s take marriage and love OFF the pedestal and treat it as a great thing, but not the ultimate goal of life. There is so much more out there than finding someone to grow old with. At least that’s my take as a happy man looking in from the outside.

-Out of the Wilderness

 

Favorite romantic movie endings

For the longest time I’ve thought of myself as a sucker for a good romantic comedy. It’s true, rom-com’s are my favorite movie category, and I’m only a little embarrassed to say that! As a dude, shouldn’t I like action or gory films or just straight comedies? I don’t know, I like what I like. So now that I’ve confessed this to you, here’s a list of a few of my favorite romantic movie endings, and I’ll try hard to pick out a favorite scene from each.

The Wedding Singer

Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler in their 329th movie together but this one is set in the 1980s. Most romantic scene in the movie is in the airplane with Adam singing to Drew, with the help of Billy Idol… a very very memorable moment.


Elizabethtown

This whole movie is amazing. If you haven’t seen it, take a couple hours one night and let yourself be immersed in the humor of life in the south- crickets chirping at night, screened porches, big family gatherings, and romance! Towards the end there’s a scavenger hunt of sorts involving Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom, and it’s an amazingly romantic way to wrap up the story. This movie is in my top 3 all time favorites.


Serendipity

The beautiful Kate Beckinsale stars in this along with John Cusack. A story of fate, chance, and doing everything you can to find “the one,” I really like this movie! My favorite scene, without giving too much away, is when the guy (John C) opens up a particular book and finds her (Kate B) name written in it. That’ll make more sense if/when you seen the movie, but it’s a really heart-stopping moment.


Hitch

Will Smith and Kevin James… need I say more? OK, I will. It’s got a fantastic cast including Eva Mendes and Amber Valletta. Amber is also the star of this Keith Urban music video. The movie is equal parts comedy and romance, and has a really great ending. My favorite scene…

Will: “Where are you going?”

Kevin: “Skydiving!”


Never Been Kissed

Another Drew Barrymore movie, also set in the 80s, but this time she’s an adult posing as a student to find out more about what popular life is like. Also stars David Arquette as a funny popular guy. Great movie, and this one is my #1 music to movie combo. The scene where Drew is on the baseball field standing on the pitcher’s mound waiting for her love interest to arrive… the countdown clock hits 0 and the guy doesn’t show up… major letdown… crowd is deflated, as is Drew…. then from the furthest end of the bleachers, teacher comes briskly down the steps to the Beach Boys “Don’t Worry Baby” and it’s quite the moment! Whoever thought to use that song in that moment, major kudos to you. That’s the best scene, capped off with this exchange…

Teacher: “Sorry I’m late, it took me forever to get here.”

Drew: “I know what you mean.”


Dan in Real Life

Steve Carrell in a more serious role, although very likable and still funny at times. This movie builds and builds and by the end, you’re cheering so much for Steve’s character. The best scene is a song by Steve and Dane Cook. Such a deep moment for Steve’s character…

 


Enchanted

Amy Adams is a cartoon princess who gets whisked away into a physical 3-dimensional world (the one we live in, ya know?) and it’s so charming and funny. Her character is really cute and by the end, she’s in love but not with a cartoon prince. The scene I remember the most (besides the squirrel going “bloop, bloop, bloop!” with the ice tea) is a dance featuring a great song by Jon Mclaughlin. The song steals the moment, but the romance is real, too.

 


Jerry Maguire

I don’t suppose you can have a list of romantic movies without including this one. “You had me at hello” became a phrase everyone and their mother knew, along with “You complete me.” Of course, there was also “Show me the money!” but that one wasn’t quite as romantic as the former quotes. Tom Cruise and Renee Zellweger are the two sharing the romance, and it’s a great movie.  I’d say it’s in my top 10 because it combines humor, sports, and love. Here’s the scene that’s uber lovely…

 

Thanks for checking out my list! What are some of your favorite romantic movie endings?

-Out of the Wilderness

 

How Famous People Sleep

I never thought much about the way I sleep until I read an article about different sleep positions. While I found the diagram quite hilarious, the research findings seem pretty accurate. I usually start out in the Fetus position, then before I fall asleep, shift to the Yearner. How about you?

[check out “how famous men sleep in 2020,” my latest post by clicking here]

Fetus position – tough exterior but are still sensitive and may appear to be shy but warm up quickly.

Log position – social, easy-going person who is trusting, sometimes to the point of being gullible.

Yearner position – open-minded and still cynical, suspicious, and stubborn about sticking to decisions once they are made.

Soldier position – reserved, quiet, without fuss, and hold themselves and others to a high standard.

Freefall position – brash, outgoing, and very uncomfortable with criticism.

Starfish position – good listeners, helpful, and uncomfortable being the center of attention.

A lot of people will say they shift during the night, but studies have shown that most people stay relatively still throughout the night. Here’s my take on a few of the Lost characters:

Kate Austen (Evangeline Lilly on Lost) – Fetus

Jack Shephard (Matthew Fox on Lost) – Yearner

John Locke (Terry O’Quinn on Lost) – Soldier

Sawyer (Josh Holloway on Lost) – Freefall

John Locke (as Smoke Monster on Lost) – Freefall

Other famous people:

Cindy Lauper – Starfish

Shia LaBeouf – Yearner

Conan O’Brien – Fetus

Keith Urban – Fetus

Mr. Darcy – starts in a Freefall, ends in a Soldier

Bingley – Starfish

Sara Thomas (Kate Beckinsale in “Serendipity”) – Fetus

Jonathan Trager (John Cusack in “Serendipity”) – Log

Summer (from 500 Days of Summer) – Freefall

Piper (my beagle) – Double Yearner

Billy Ray Cyrus – Log

David Hasselhoff – Fetus

Ellen Degeneres – Log

Boyz II Men – Fetus