…and I’m Kanye West

Kanye West has been an interesting conversation since he’s become a household name. I didn’t know who he was until I heard “Jesus Walks,” his fourth single off his first album way back in 2004. I remember thinking, “Well, here we go! Maybe there’ll be some entertaining mainstream rap about faith.”


Then he pretty much skidded off the rails. And by that I mean, he’s kinda nuts.


I stopped liking him because of his braggadocious personality. He was still entertaining, don’t get me wrong, but much like those rails he skidded off of, we like witnessing metaphorical train wrecks, don’t we? And there might be something loose upstairs, just saying. But back to train wrecks… well, I’ll also admit here that I watch The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise for the same reasons.

Anyway, Kanye annoyed me to no end with his “everyone’s out to get me” attitude.

Then he randomly had praise for Donald Trump last year, I believe it was. I thought, “Well, here we go! Maybe there’ll be some redeeming value to this guy after all!”

So at this point, I still don’t understand him. I mean, he willingly married a Kardashian people!!! He said he was running for president in 2020 yet I see no commercials of him saying, “I’m Kanye and I approve this message.” But somewhere deep down maybe he’s got something we can like about him. I don’t know.

-Out of the Wilderness

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20 “Would You Rather” questions

Would you rather…

… hang out with Taylor Swift then go to a Kanye West concert or hang out with Kanye West then go to a Taylor Swift concert?

… have a third arm, or a third leg?

… be able to hold your breath as long as dolphins can (as long as 8 to 10 minutes) or be able to go without water as long as camels can (in winter, 6 to 7 months)?

… work in a coffee shop although you can’t stand the smell of coffee or work as a bartender although you don’t drink?

[for the women]… spend a day with the Pioneer Woman but you’re not allowed to talk to her at all or spend a day with Chris Hemsworth but you’re not allowed to look at him ever?

[for the men]… spend a day with LeBron James but you’re forbidden from playing basketball with him or spend a day with LeBron James but all you can do for 24 hours is play basketball with him, with no breaks?

… be extremely knowledgable about cryptocurrencies 5 years too late, so you’re treated as someone who’s behind the times, or be extremely knowledgable 5 years too early and be blown off as a fool?

… be able to draw really well or sing really well, but then you’re terrible at the other option?

… improve on something that already exists or invent something completely new?

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image via ZeroHedge.com

… get a gold medal in something like curling or a bronze medal in something like figure skating (playing on the notion that curling and figure skating athletes are in completely different leagues)?

… only be able to hop like a frog wherever you go or have legs that don’t bend at all?

… have a poster of *NSync signed by the entire band you aren’t allowed to dispose of or bleach your hair blond for a year and when anyone asks, you’re required to say it’s because you’re a fan of Justin Timberlake’s *NSync days?

… fly to the moon and back but you’re not allowed to tell anyone ever or when anyone asks what you’re biggest accomplishment is, you must say “I drove to Kentucky once”?

… have an iPhone that works most of the time or an old flip phone that works all the time?

… only be allowed to talk like Yoda or only be allowed to talk like Charlie Brown’s teacher?


… debate against Ben Shapiro for 5 minutes or debate against Tomi Lahren for 10 minutes?

… be a character on the tv show Parenthood or a character on the tv show This Is Us?

… exist as a zombie in the world of The Walking Dead or be a recurring peasant… in the world of Game of Thrones?

… be part of a really great inside joke between you and you’re only two friends or have lots of people think you’re funny but don’t want to know more about you?

… be a vegan married to someone who eats anything or be someone who eats anything married to a vegan?

-Out of the Wilderness

Kanye West running for president?

Evidently during the 2015 VMAs Kanye West announced his candidacy for the 2020 presidential election.

And all of a sudden I’ve never been more convinced to vote for Hillary in 2016. Get it? If Hillary becomes president in 2016, you know she’ll run for reelection and Kanye will be out of luck. Unless he runs as a republican? With Trump as his running mate? And Taylor Swift as his Secretary of State?

Any scenario I come up with in my head makes me want Jesus to come back in 2019.

-Out of the Wilderness

Travelling Taylor Swiftly into the Night

The other day I was driving down the interstate and what did my eyes behold? Taylor Swift! OK, not exactly the Taylor Swift. But it was a semi-truck with her last name on the side. Seconds later it was cut off by a truck bearing “West” on the side and I heard it say, “Yo Swift truck, I’m really happy for you, I’m gonna let you keep driving, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time!”
swiftEvery time I see these trailers, I think of Taylor Swift for obvious reasons. The first time our professional paths crossed was in 2006 at the music video shoot for Wayne Warner and “God Bless the Children.” My guess is this video would be shot a lot differently today than it was in 2006, because Taylor wasn’t a superstar back then.

Taylor’s days as an unknown audience member in a Wayne Watson music video are long gone.  Her stock has skyrocketed and working at CMT, her name is heard quite often around the offices. I wonder if her worldwide popularity even affects the tractor-trailer business? I can’t imagine having “Swift” on the side of your trailer is a bad thing.  Unless you’re Harry Styles.

-Out of the Wilderness

Justin Bieber and Kanye West

So just being totally honest, I don’t know anyone who likes Justin Bieber or Kanye West. I mean, ANY. ONE. It’s something that’s got me curious. How and/or why are they so popular? Maybe it’s the same reason I’ll watch a Green Bay Packers game when my fantasy team is going up against Aaron Rogers. I want to see him throw a few interceptions. Justin and Kanye are two guys we want to dislike. So the more we hear about their idiotic behavior, the more satisfaction we feel. Well, when Jeopardy states, “The artist who spiraled out of control before fathering 5 kids by 6 different women and is now working at UPS part time” we’ll at least have a 50/50 shot at the right answer.

Things I Wouldn’t Have Believed A Year Ago

If you told me a year ago that I’d be making more money than New England tight end Aaron Hernandez the last half of 2013.

I’d visit a doctor and a dentist on two consecutive days.

Last summer we saw dolphins jumping in the boat wake and I told my nephew it was a once in a lifetime experience. Then this summer, we saw this. What the heck do I know?

Northwest was no longer just a direction. #poorbaby

Sharknado. Enough said.

That a few weeks ago, I’d toss the signature I got from Alex Rodriguez after chapel at Westminster Christian School in 8th grade, in the trash.

That the Dolphins would now have the lamest logo EVER. C’mon, guys! I’ve been a lifelong fan but I think now it’s reached an expiration date. #GoTitans
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That American Idol hasn’t thrown in the towel yet. It’s over, let it go peacefully into the night.

That interns all over the country were born while Bill Clinton was in office. Wasn’t that like a few years ago??