Would you rather date through Facebook, or go on The Bachelor?

Ever since the dawn of man, men have been trying to get it right with the ladies. Heck, Adam was the very first Bachelor contestant, right?

But there is nothing easy about deciding to be on The Bachelor, I’m sure. A lot of your dating history will be exposed to millions of people who will either cheer for you (which would be awesome, I guess), or cringe (which is most likely). Then there are the tears.

So. Much. Crying.

If you watch the show, or any of it’s spinoffs like The Bachelorette, Bachelor Pad, Bachelor in Paradise you know exactly what I mean when I say these people are… what’s the word… interesting. Most of them think being on the show is their one last shot at finding true love. Most of them are also under the age of 25.

Bless their hearts. Then, if one of these young’ns don’t get a rose, they bawl their eyes out because they thought they had found “the one.” After 3 days of being part of the cast. Barely knowing the person’s last name.

Well, getting dumped on national TV is no longer their last chance of getting rejected!!! Facebook has entered the game.  Facebook wants to be for single people what Alex “Hitch” Hitchens was to Albert Brennaman. 

So romantic. Really, it is. But does Facebook have any hope of being a successful matchmaker? I’ll say this… using an established social network to romantically connect people together makes a lot of sense. There are millions of people who have millions of friends in common, so perhaps this could be a way for friends to meet friends of friends… people they wouldn’t have met otherwise.

I just have my doubts as someone who’s tried a handful of dating platforms.

You see, what I’ve heard from my female friends is this: guys on dating sites are mostly one of 3 types. The creepy guy. The runner. The player.

[creepy guy]

Creepy guys are hard to explain because they can appear in a few different ways. But mostly, and this is just based on what I’ve heard from female friends, they’re clingy, or as soon as a woman doesn’t respond right away or asks a question about the guy’s authenticity the dude gets defensive and hurtful.

The runner is the guy that has a lot of potential in the beginning but as time wears on the other shoe drops. Meaning this… he’s got something in his DNA that won’t let him get to the place where a relationship can last. So he either ghosts, or just goes away, blaming himself.

The player. This one is easy to define. Sex. His first message is something like, “Hey baby” or “Ur fine” or something super genuine like that. 😉

They want one thing and one thing only.

Here’s another truth for you… when women join a dating site, they are flooded with messages, matches, winks, whatever. While that could be flattering, it’s actually really overwhelming. And from a friend who checked out the Facebook dating “portal,” it hasn’t been any different. She said the influx of matches caused her to delete her dating profile.

Sucks for the ladies who are on “here for the right reasons,” and for the dudes who are genuinely “looking for their person.”

So why would Facebook be any different from dating apps that exist currently? I can’t think of a solid reason except for the friends of friends thing. In that regard, it does open up more options than The Bachelor ever will, because nowadays, they’re all just dating each other. Yes, we’re looking at you Blake from Stagecoach.

He. Sounds. Hideous.

Have you tried the Facebook dating thing? Have you auditioned for the Bachelor? Chime in below and let’s get a conversation going!

-Out of the Wilderness

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…and I’m Kanye West

Kanye West has been an interesting conversation since he’s become a household name. I didn’t know who he was until I heard “Jesus Walks,” his fourth single off his first album way back in 2004. I remember thinking, “Well, here we go! Maybe there’ll be some entertaining mainstream rap about faith.”


Then he pretty much skidded off the rails. And by that I mean, he’s kinda nuts.


I stopped liking him because of his braggadocious personality. He was still entertaining, don’t get me wrong, but much like those rails he skidded off of, we like witnessing metaphorical train wrecks, don’t we? And there might be something loose upstairs, just saying. But back to train wrecks… well, I’ll also admit here that I watch The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise for the same reasons.

Anyway, Kanye annoyed me to no end with his “everyone’s out to get me” attitude.

Then he randomly had praise for Donald Trump last year, I believe it was. I thought, “Well, here we go! Maybe there’ll be some redeeming value to this guy after all!”

So at this point, I still don’t understand him. I mean, he willingly married a Kardashian people!!! He said he was running for president in 2020 yet I see no commercials of him saying, “I’m Kanye and I approve this message.” But somewhere deep down maybe he’s got something we can like about him. I don’t know.

-Out of the Wilderness

My guilty pleasure: The Bachelor shows

I’m a 40-year old man and I’m an addict. Hi, my name is Ben.

This relationship I have with the Bachelor family of shows started over a decade ago and I’ve always said I can quit whenever I want. It’s not a problem.

But it IS a problem when I wake up Monday morning and think, “Ok, I need to plan my day around the goal of being home by 7pm to watch Bachelor in Paradise.” Or when I become the very proud commissioner of a Bachelor fantasy league at work. And it’s not even the fantasy game ABC created.

We created our own league with our own points and categories and a giant excel sheet. 

To be honest, it was awesome. I loved keeping stats on kisses, who cussed or said “here for the right reasons,” who shows up with a gimmick on episode 1, who gets the first impression rose, and on and on we would go with the circus.

But it’s not like there’s ever been a lot of real romance on the show, even dating back to the very first Bachelor couple, Adam and Eve. There is some romance, for sure. However, the romance we witness rarely leads to marriage. In fact, if I were a divorce lawyer, well, I’d be poor (because of that whole not getting married part) BUT I’d be waiting right behind Neil Lane with a packet of papers and a couple of pens.

Producers pressure you into a premature proposal? Fantasy suite got you all confused about stuff? Pump the brakes and put your trust in me. Hi, my name is Ben. I’ll be your lawyer friend.

…would be my way-too-long slogan. If there were a way to make money off engagement breakups, THEN I’d be more than a poor divorce lawyer. Because this is dating in real life. So why do I, and we, keep coming back? I guess it’s for entertainment value because there sure is a heck of a lot of that. And the drama. With the current cast of Jordan and Blake and Hannah G among others, my heart rate is equal to a brisk jog on a Planet Fitness treadmill.

I guess we could call this post “Confessions of a 40 year old man: Why I admit to watching The Bachelor.” My confession: I just do. I can’t really explain why. With the windmills and the Stagecoach and Jordan being the best cast member ever, we just can’t get enough, can we? 🙂

What are your thoughts about the show and if you’re willing to share, why do you watch? Comment below!

-Out of the Wilderness

The first Bachelor contestant, Adam

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Does anyone else’s mind wander during church sometimes? Only me? OK then! That’ll give me something to confess the next time I’m in prayer.

“God, I’m sorry for thinking about ABC’s The Bachelor and what if Adam was the contestant picking from 25 women. I know it’s weird. Thank you for loving me anyway.”

…is pretty much how that prayer would go.

Today in church there was a brief mention of Adam and Eve, and my mind ran with it. Somehow Adam became the star of The Bachelor and Eve was just one of the 25 women competing to guard and protect his heart, which leads to a flurry of questions:

Where would the other 24 women come from?

Would they all be vegetarians?

They’re already in a beautiful garden, so where’re the “exotic” dates?

Who is “there for the right reasons”?

I can see the first caravan of camels pulling up now. Adam, here are the first five women… Mary, Esther, Sarah, Ruth, and Jezebel, who simply winks and says, “Let’s do the d*mn thing.” Adam looks off to the side, “Boy, am I in trouble.” The next five arrive: Rahab, Zilpah, Ashleigh R., Ashley K., and Ashlee M. He whispers under his breath, “So many Ashley’s.” On and on it goes and maybe Eve doesn’t arrive till the final five, since the host (God) wants to save the best for last.

Adam notices Eve right off the bat so she gets the first impression rose. He feels like somehow she’s already a part of him. Get it? Ok, anyway. The first date card arrives…

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So that date will end badly. A combination of fruit, a snake, and all the contestants are banished from the paradise mansion in Eden…FOREVER!!!!! No Bachelor Pad, no Bachelor in Paradise, and dare I say not even an episode of The Women Tell All. But there is a wedding. Adam eventually picks Eve and they get married.

Years go by and many more seasons of The Bachelor, then along comes the star of the first Bachelorette season ever, Ruth! You can read her story in the Bible but I’ll say this, it includes a sizzling overnight encounter!

-Out of the Wilderness

 

The woman in Chris Young’s “Losing Sleep” video

This morning I’ve been researching Chris Young’s music video “Losing Sleep,” more specifically, the cast of the video. In this case, it’s Chris Young as Chris Young and a mystery woman as the lead actress (to find out who it is, scroll to the bottom).

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Through various channels, I wasn’t able to find out who she is so then I tried looking up modeling agencies here in Nashville (where the video was shot).

Funny thing happened, I saw a few people I know, guys and girls. Some I’ve been to church with, some I’ve been to lunch with.

But then I stumbled upon Danielle M., who you might recognize from The Bachelor!

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photo from ABC.com

Her occupation on the show’s website lists “Neonatal Nurse” but that must just be her day job. She’s also a model! You can find more about her on this modeling website. I don’t know if she’s dating Wells (another Bach contestant who lives in Nashville) so no juicy details there. I do know one thing for sure: She’s not the woman in Chris Young’s video.

That woman is…drum roll, please… Kiersten Dolbec!

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Per the comments below from Kiersten’s mom, here’s a bit of info y’all will appreciate:
She was born in Folsom, Ca in 1991, grew up in Saratoga Ca, and now lives in Dallas TX. She is a model with Kim Dawson and Wilhemina Models. She has been studying improv at 2nd City in Chicago (home of the Saturday night live alumni) and has started her career in acting this past year. She was training for the Olympics in High Jump and had a full ride scholarship to UC Santa Barbara for Vollyball.

Kiersten is a model and actress and you can check out her website by clicking here. You can find her on social media by clicking the links below…

Instagram

Twitter

And a big thanks to The Chris Young Brigade for pointing me in the right direction!

-Out of the Wilderness

 

Working from home as it relates to Bachelor in Paradise.

Being self-employed, working from home, whatever you want to call it, that’s what I’ve been doing since being laid off about 2 Bachelor in Paradise seasons ago. And speaking of reality, if you would have told me 2 years ago how my life would look now, I would not’ve believed you, although I would’ve definitely hoped you were right. The idea of foregoing a desk job to explore other ways of making an income was attractive to me because I seemed to be fitting less and less in a style of work that included cubicles, time sheets, and weekly meetings.
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Plus, in our economy, now more than ever, alternative forms of income are very possible and I’m proof. I’ve also got friends that are proof. In fact, one new friend started her own business as a massage therapist less than a year ago and it’s been so inspiring to hear about. She’s really smart, went about it the right way, and I think it’s pretty awesome to hear stories like that.

I wake up each day excited about what the day holds but I’ll be totally honest, it’s not always fun or easy or safe. That’s where faith in a higher power comes in. I believe God wants to take care of each and every person on this planet. Don’t ask me how He’s able to do that because I have no idea, I’ll leave all the logistics up to Him. Some things we just weren’t meant to know, else our brains would…
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Maybe it’s a desk job. Maybe it’s professional sports. Maybe it’s working in a hospital, or inventing the next iPhone, or bagging groceries at Publix. We all can fit in somewhere.

Geez, I’m way off track.

I didn’t mean to go all Tony Robins on you.

I guess the moral of this post is that sometimes what might look like a devastating blow is actually the best thing that could ever happen. Take Bachelor in Paradise, for example.
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The rose ceremony happens and you don’t get a rose. But instead of crying and your makeup smearing all over your cheeks, you skip out with a big smile on your face and hope in your heart that paradise is actually not televised.

The adventure might only be beginning! Here’s to your adventure, my adventure, and enjoying the journey…

-Out of the Wilderness

What the texts said between Joe and Sam on Bachelor in Paradise

Fans of Bachelor in Paradise must be dying to know exactly what the texts said when Joe held up his phone to the camera on a recent episode of Bachelor in Paradise. He has long been saying that Sam (a girl he’s obsessed with) is as guilty as he is for plotting and scheming for this season of the show. Well, here’s what the texts say:
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Joe: What am i supposed to do till mid June? I hope I’m still there.

Joe: Not hilarious but very embarrassing.

Samantha: OK since you asked here’s samantha’s 2 goals to live by this month.

Samantha: 1. do what you need to do to stay i don’t care what.

Samantha: 2. don’t get 100% completely wifed up yet.

Joe: Are you being 100% serious?