A day that unravelled

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If the above statement is true, then the opposite must be true, too. I can offer some evidence for that because yesterday I felt like Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. But it started off so good! I woke up (that’s good). The weather was fantastic (also good!). I had some work scheduled (totally good!).

Before heading off to do said work, delivering for Amazon, I had a few hours to “putter,” as my mom would say. So I took the dogs to the dog park. We had a great ol’ time. I even spent entirely too much attention on a little slug we found.


I even had time for a short run before having to leave for Amazon.

Great morning, right? My day wasn’t unravelling at all! And I hadn’t even said one prayer yet. Maybe that famous quote is just an amusing tale. Maybe it’s just something people say because it sounds good. Maybe? Maybe not!

When I left for Amazon was the beginning of the unravelling. Most of the deliveries went fine until the last few. I had about 10 in an apartment complex, one that was set up with lockers for deliveries. I like lockers because the process is organized… usually. The Amazon app was having issues because of a few things which I won’t get into, so at the end of the 10 deliveries my screen was not showing the info it should’ve been. On top of that, I had one package to return to the warehouse because it was mislabeled. Not a terrible thing, but a nuisance for sure.

I returned that package and headed home. However, my Amazon app was still stuck on that wrong screen. No biggy, I thought.

Well, that screen made things more messy when I decided to pick up deliveries later in the day. The shift was 330pm to 430pm and routed me to downtown, tossing me into Nashville traffic on a horrifically high-volume day. I knew getting home would be a nightmare but I signed up for it, so I shrugged my shoulders and drove on. Traveling on the interstate towards downtown, I noticed the folks headed in the other direction were backed up for miles because of a wreck. Police everywhere. Lanes blocked. Of course, this was the very route I’d be taking to get home, so the high-volume I mentioned was compounded by less lanes. Great.

I had 3 addresses to deliver to, one of which was to a government building. Security had me sit and wait for a “supervisor” to let me up to the 8th floor. Ten minutes of sitting and then I was told I can’t go up. Meanwhile it’s already 445pm (15 minutes past when I was scheduled to finish), and I still had another delivery to do.

The last delivery went OK then I did my best to weave back to the warehouse to return the rejected government package. It took almost an hour to go 10 miles! But I managed to snag a 5pm to 630pm shift so I took some solace knowing I was still “on the clock.”

Once at the warehouse, the manager checked me in and so everything was returning to normal, or so I thought.

Later I returned home, mentally exhausted and needing to decompress from all the day had brought me. Come to find out, the 2.5 hours of work was not registered by Amazon. What!? I sat in an hour and a half of traffic, delivered packages and returned one, and none of it was recorded? I was on the verge of exploding about this. How am I supposed enjoy watching The Bachelorette– I mean, playoff hockey– now?

So that’s pretty much how my day went. Lots of detours, literally and figuratively, and I didn’t even pray until the very end of the day… when I was at the end of my rope and needed God to shoulder my burden, to soften hearts, to bring about justice. I think it would’ve been much better to start my day with prayer, not end it with prayer. Or better yet, start and end my day with prayer, and do it all the time in between, also. Isn’t that how one hems, anyway? Sewing all around the garment, not just on one side and the other.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-8

Now it’s the morning of the next day, issue still unresolved and the same anxiety is in my heart. Will Amazon treat me fairly? Will I be compensated for my work? At this point I don’t know. But I can say this and be sure about it, I don’t want today to go like yesterday did. So as soon as I post this, I’m bowing my head to start sewing prayers to my day.

[check out the follow up to this story here]

-Out of the Wilderness

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Trusting God to sustain

…at times the path way has been steep and rocky, sometimes treacherous even, but by going to Him in prayer, in medication, in reading His word, He has sustained me EVERY TIME.
Grand-daddy Davis

My grandfather wrote those words to me in 1991, not knowing that 26 years later his grandson would be self-employed and learning what “sustain” really means. And I love that he capitalized “EVERY TIME.” It’s like having a best friend that never can’t hang out,  that won’t ever decline to show up. I also love to think about God using this definition from dictionary.com

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That’s what God promises to do for us. Amazing! It’s so much farther beyond just the physical (money, food, etc), too. It’s also emotional, spiritual, sanity, temper, fear, anxiety, worry. This whole interest in God as sustainer and provider really gained traction this year, 2017. But I guess the story dates back to when I was laid off a couple years ago (early 2015). That year flew by as I rode out my severance package. 2016 was an adventurous year as I pursued less traditional forms of income (I wrote a book!). When 2017 rolled around it was a lot like the previous year, until tax season.

You dropped a bomb on me!

I didn’t realize how much I’d owe till I totaled up everything from 2016. And I also tithe around tax season, so my checking account was about to take a hefty hit. Thankfully, I survived… though there’s a water line on the wall of my checking account, much like when a flood recedes. This line here is how much you used to have… now, you’re waaaaaaaaay down here.

So as I was monitoring my accounts more closely, I began praying more earnestly. What does the Bible say about who to trust, who will provide, and all that? Well, the answer is easy: God. But I guess when I was on a salary, I never really thought about that sort of stuff. The checks go in automatically, the health coverage is taken care of, there’s not a scramble to make ends meet.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Matthew 6:26

This is the year of trusting God to sustain me, like Grand-daddy did. The first real example was tax season, like I mentioned. But then not too long after that, my computer froze up. One Apple computer later, I was actually excited to get to trust God for a way to keep working (I edit videos as part of my income) and at the same time, not losing my mind out of frustration!

Don’t get me wrong, I have a long way to go. It’s a daily thing, and often I’m like:

But I love Proverbs 23 and 30 that have two great advices…

“Don’t wear yourself out to get rich; stop giving your attention to it.” Then in chapter 30, “Give me neither poverty nor wealth; feed me with the food I need. Otherwise, I might have too much and deny You, saying, ‘Who is the LORD?’; or I might have nothing and steal, profaning the name of my God.”

I think we all have an opportunity each day to trust God to sustain us. And it’s amazing, SO AMAZING, when we recognize Him doing it.

-Out of the Wilderness

 

The Reawakening: Part 12

The subtitle to this post is “Worth more than many sparrows,” because that’s exactly how God feels about each of us. Even in our most scary moments, maybe especially in our most scary moments, we can exhale knowing that He knows what we need and He will do it. He will. If he takes care of the birds, he’ll take care of me and you, because we’re much more valuable than birds!
bird2You may be reading this with a skeptical or unbelieving heart. Maybe you’re a Christian and maybe you’re not. That’s OK. God’s concern includes everyone; you, me, them, us, her, him, even…that one. You know the one. That guy or girl who’s so unlikeable or annoying.
annoyI’ve learned along the way that sometimes I’m that one.

But anyway, that’s another post for another time. Or just ask my siblings, they’ll tell you how annoying I can be! I like knowing that this one little human in Nashville is important to someone so big. A good comparison is a nationally-recognized, respected, winning coach looking over to his player sitting on the end of the bench, and giving him a nod that says, “Hey, I’m glad you’re on the team. We wouldn’t be the same without you and come Hell or high water, I will look out for you as a member of my team.” Feels good, right?

Well, moving right along, and tying this all together with my Reawakening series, I’m calling today Day 1 since my generous severance package from CMT ended yesterday. I should be nervous. I should panic a little. I should be losing sleep because I don’t have a full-time job. But I’m not. I won’t. And I haven’t. Because the more I read in the Bible, and as each day passes, I learn and see that I’m worth more than many sparrows. And I like that. So why would I worry? Why would I be nervous? This morning I came across the prayer that Jesus taught his disciples.

“Give us each day our daily bread. Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.”

Having health insurance is important, taking care of myself and my dogs is important, finding work I can thrive doing is important. But it seems that what’s also important is trusting God to take care of me. I think I can do that today, on Day 1. Seems simple enough, and a great reason to sing like a bird.

-Out of the Wilderness