Bachelor Brad Womack episode 4. 01/24/2011.
I defy you to tell me Michelle isn’t more likable after this episode. Just a leeeeeeetle more likable. It’s ok to admit it. I admitted it to myself and a couple of guys who, by request will remain nameless, watched the show with me. Strange? Perhaps. Embarrassing? Maybe. But we don’t care. Every Monday we three men get together and watch The Bachelor. It’s fine. We’re fine. We’re straight. We’re confident. We’re fine. We weed out the girls Brad should and shouldn’t give a rose to, who we like the most, and sort of all know we’re secretly hoping Emily leaves without a rose so one of us have a chance with her. Nameless guy #1 thinks they’re setting her up to be next season’s Bachelorette. I have my doubts. So let’s move on to episode four…
The first one-on-one date was with Chantal O. They did a poor man’s version of scuba diving. They wore these helmet things that were connected to an oxygen source up in the boat they came from. Why she and Brad tried to have a glass-to-glass kiss is beyond me, but hey, who am I to assume it’s not possible? If Spiderman is allowed to kiss upside down, then Braddy Mack is allowed to try a glass kiss. Anyway, after the underwater walk, they move to phase two- a romantic date on the beach. They obviously open up here about their past and the conversation gets deep and dull (for us the viewers). Chantal finally apologized for slapping him when they first met, but come on, she’s not really sorry. Hitting is the most flirty way to say “I like you.” Brad said that this day felt like a normal day, one he’d have in real life and with no glass to separate them, they kiss. He offered her the first rose of the evening and she accepted it.
Next was the group date. They rattled off the names way too fast for me to write them all down, so let’s just say he took a bunch of girls that’ll be eliminated later this season. I suppose I could run the DVR back and check each name. Sigh. It’s decision time. Is it worth it to turn the tv back on, rewind it, oh and I have to get up to get the tv controller, my dog’ll get up assuming I want to play, she’ll bite my hand, I’ll have to scold her, then give her a treat for sitting and shaking, wash my hands, wonder where the controller went, oh man my dog took it, why is she hiding under the table, give me the controller Piper!, she thinks it’s a game, darn she chewed a button off, I demand her to “come here” (she’s been learning this), she doesn’t, I wait for her because I can’t let her win, she eventually answers the call with the controller in her mouth, I have to wipe it off, I accidently hit a random button that fires up “input #4” and I can’t figure out what is on the tv screen now, check the clock, what!! it’s already 10:45, I can’t watch the episode now, “Piper get in bed,” so I brush my teeth and climb in bed without even posting this post, soooo no, I’m not gonna look up their names.
On the group date, they all went to the radio studio where the live show “Loveline” airs. Dr. Drew and Mike ask Mack Braddy questions and then ask the girls questions. If you recall, Britt actually shined the most here, showing a vulnerable cute side that Brad fell for. Unfortunately, an early favorite got bit by the jealous monster. He’s been biting some of these girls lately, that rascal. Who was the victim? Ashley H. I don’t normally use course language, but let’s be honest, she was acting like an Ash-hole. During the radio show, Stacey opted to take the “I hope my honesty makes me look good even though what I’m being honest about makes me look worse than the Ash-hole over there” route, and it’ll come back to haunt her later when the no-rose monster pays her a visit.
What’s up with this season of girls looking way different without makeup on? I mean, Ashley S., yowzers. Can I get an “Amen!” Call me superficial but I know I’m not the only one who also noticed how much different Chantal O. looks with glasses on. The camera adds ten pounds, but where did the other 20 come from? Those glasses shall be removed from YOUR FACE if thee wishes to win Brad’s heart. Ding ding, I included a “YOUR FACE” joke. Nameless guy #3 who blogs about the bachelor will like that I did this joke.
Later at the group date dinner, Ashley S. steals Braddy away from Alli. Jackie steals Braddy away from Ashley S. The girls begin to grumble about Ashley H. Britt admits to Brad she has a crush on him. They kiss passionately. Then Monster Mashley showed up and Brad wondered what the heck she’s doing being so caddy. Evenso, Brad later joined the girls in the hot tub with a rose to give. He was going to give it to Ashley H. till she made another under-her-breath comment, and he gave the rose to Britt instead.
The second one-on-one date went to Michelle. Why do the girls dislike her so much? What has she done different than any of the other girls? I think it’s because she barks and threatens to bite, but check this out: how many times has she talked behind a girls back? How many times has she said one thing and done another? One or less for either of those questions. She’s pretty darn genuine even if it’s not the way the other girls prefer her to act. That’s what they don’t like about her, she’s not like them. She’s the anti-hero to Emily’s hero. And yet, they both have Brad’s full attention.
Towards the end of the episode, Shawntel got some alone time. Meghan also got some time with him, but they sat far apart on the couch. Nothing says “I want you” like distance. She’s like that guy in that movie that no one remembers, you know who I’m talking about… that one guy, he does the thing. Oh forget it, she won’t make it much longer.
Just before the rose ceremony, Brad took Emily out to the stony entrance of the mansion for a picnic. He, like us, is trying hard to find something wrong with her. Good luck with that. He’s totally comfortable, as shown just after he laid the picnic blanket down. When he stood back up, he did a little hop step. I’m telling you, he’s giddy. Ali Roberto giddy.
Finally, Chantal cried a little but was reassured when Brad reassured her to rest assured that she’s safe. They kissed. Got to admit, they have a good real-life connection. We’ll have to see how that plays out, but for this episode she got a rose, as did Chantal, Britt, Michelle (all three from the dates earlier), Ashley S., Alli, Emily, Shawntel N., Lisa, Jackie, Marissa and Ashley H. Sent home were Meghan, Stacey and Lindsay.
Quotes of the episode:
Braddy to Chantal O. on their date: You better accept the damn rose.
Braddy: I like you Britt.
Britt: Me, too.