Man forgoes standard home security for “coronavirus” method instead

Sikeston, MO — A Sikeston man was questioned over the phone about a sign seen on his door in the last week or so, after reports from neighbors questioned it’s authenticity. Concerns grew from the homemade warning to which the man, who’s name we will not include for sake of privacy, responded, “If anyone wants to break into my house, they have to think to themselves first, ‘Is whatever I might get from this house worth getting the coronavirus also?’ I can tell ya right now, it’s not. All I have is a small TV and a lot of regrets.”

We chose not to take the bait on what regrets he may be speaking of, but during the course of the interview we couldn’t help but notice lots of meowing cats in the background and something he uttered about bitcoins.

Asked if he was actually diagnosed with the novel coronavirus, or if this is just some sort of stunt, he replied with a series of coughs and a few sniffles. Below are a couple of images courtesy of the Sikeston man, who wishes everyone well but warns his neighbors to stop with all the “nincompoopery.”

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