The fun yet sometimes petty world of fantasy football

NFL football is upon us, folks! You know what that means: Fantasy football leagues everywhere are being formed, drafting, and setting up rosters in preparation for September 7, when the regular season starts featuring the Kansas City Chiefs and the Detroit Lions.

I started my fantasy football journey with a team called the Venus Flytraps. Within a few years the team was renamed to the Billy Oceans, playing in a league with college friends for many years. That league fizzled as schedules conflicted (people getting married and having kids and whatnot) and then I became part of a fun league of coworkers. My time in that league came to an end and I’m actually kind of happy about it. Who wants to be in a league where someone hates your guts for not being a Democrat, anyway? 🙃

Church and state? I’d be happy with separation of sports and politics!

Shopping for a new league has been really fun. It’s opened my eyes to how many different types of leagues and the assortment of platforms there are. Here’s a list of stuff I’ve learned about in the past few weeks…

Sleeper (another platform like Yahoo!, ESPN, etc), IDP, common to use no kicker or defense, 2+ quarterbacks as starters, $500 buy-in leagues, auction draft, slow draft, Leaguesafe (central hub for league dues and payouts), IR spots, super flex, dynasty, experimental leagues, and lots more.

Something else I’ve learned? People have gambling problems.

Seriously, who joins a $500 per team fantasy football league where winner takes all? That’s stuff your wife and kids leave you for, taking everything in the house except for one sticky note pressed on the back of the front door… a number to call and it’s a therapist.

Do I miss the friends I played with in the college and the coworker league? Of course. But change can be a good thing and because of that I’m pretty pumped about a new season of football and a new beginning to the dynasty of…

The Billy Oceans.

-Out of the Wilderness

10 Awesome AI Song Fakes

I almost included real artists that used autotune to make themselves sound good but for now this list will just have songs that were never actually recorded by the ones singing them. Artificial Intelligence is SO crazy, and I’m almost positive it’s going to ruin everything. But here we have examples of how AI can be entertaining, so stop thinking about the destruction of the world, the downfall of mankind as we know it, and robots taking over, and just listen to these beauties…

“Apple Bottom Jeans” Louis Armstrong

“Barbie Girl” Johnny Cash

“Creep” Honky Tonk Edition

“Bohemian Rhapsody” Frank Sinatra

“Gangsta’s Paradise” Frank Sinatra

“Hurt” Joe Biden

“I Will Always Love You” Freddie Mercury

“Apple Bottom Jeans” Elvis Presley

“Straight Outta Compton” Frank Sinatra (I think?)

@fitdadceo

What other 90’s songs should I do? #generationalmusic #fitdadceo

♬ original sound – Dave FitDad Ogleton

“Basket Case” Frank Sinatra

@fitdadceo

90’s music > everything else #generationalmusic #fitdadceo

♬ Youre a basket case – Dave FitDad Ogleton

-Out of the Wilderness

Are You Transgender? Another Question Men Should Never Ask Women, plus Alternatives

Denver, CO – Matt Richardson recently opened up about a first date with someone he matched with on a popular dating app. The pair had exchanged messages until both felt comfortable meeting “casually for coffee,” as Matt put it. Matt confessed he was still somewhat hesitant about who he’d been chatting with.

“Something looked… off.”

Starbucks. As far as first dates go, finding a place that’s predictable, safe, comfortable is important, Matt explained. He arrived early as to not keep his date waiting. His recollection of the evening is that it generally went well up until the final moments. Sipping the bottom of their grande drinks, Matt hadn’t been able to shake the thought in the back of his mind, only more constantly brought forth in his conscious after meeting in person.

He treaded as lightly as possible when he asked, “Is there anything I should know about you that you’d like to share?” The response didn’t extinguish what was nagging him. He let the conversation wander off as a river through a steep canyon. 

Trash tossed into the bin. Smiles exchanged. Keys extracted from pocket and shoulder bag. 

Matt opened the coffeeshop door politely as they exited, and casually asked, “I just have to know, are you transgender?” Matt has learned a lesson here. There are a handful of questions men should never, ever ask their dates if they want another date. That’s what Google is for. Matt never saw her (or him–she never answered, just stormed off, shaking her hips in defiance) again. To help Matt and other clueless men out there, here’s a list of questions and phrases to avoid along with alternatives to be used with more tact, even if your woman might possibly be a man.

No: Are you transgender?

Replace with: Tell me about your childhood.

No: How old are you?

Replace with: What year did you graduate high school/college?

No: How far along are you?

Replace with: Are you looking forward to being a parent?

No: You look like my mother.

Replace with: You have a familiar face.

No: Are you a cat lady?

Replace with: Do you go to a lot of protests?

No: Can we talk about politics?

Replace with: How about that weather? Sure is hot out.

No: It’s not you, it’s me.

Replace with: You seem to have your hands full with all the cats.

-OTW News

McDonald’s “As Seen In” Commercial… Better Than The Menu It Advertises

McDonald’s restaurants are everywhere. Kind of like Michael Jordan or Michael Jackson or maybe Taylor Swift to use a more recent reference, I think everyone has heard of McDonald’s whether you live in ‘Bama or Bangkok, or anywhere on the little map displayed on my awesome old watch.

I remember loving the McDonald’s chocolate milkshakes when I was a young’n, back when their ice cream machines always worked. 😉

Highlighting the part they play in the fabric of modern humanity, a new ad from McDonald’s is out and shows how it’s been integrated into movies and music. It’s a great idea, and I love the commercial. Take a look then scroll down for the details…

At the end of the commercial is a list of the movie and TV clips presented. They are…

• Coming to America
• Richie Rich
• Blankman
• The Devil Is a Part-Timer
• Seinfeld, “The Boyfriend”
• Reality Bites
• 30 Rock, “St. Valentine’s Day”
• The Fifth Element
• Friends, “The One with the Bullies”
• I’m Not Rappaport
• Clueless
• The Longest Yard
• From Paris with Love
• Fallen Angels
• The Office (US)
• Aquí No Hay Quien Viva
• Palasonic (Palace Skateboards)

The commercial is for a limited-time menu (they’re calling it the “As Seen In Menu”). I looked it up on their website and it’s actually a lot more underwhelming than the ad. The only items listed on this special menu are Big Mac, Quarter Pounder with Cheese, and a 10-Piece Chicken McNuggets. Aren’t these items always on the menu already, or am I missing something… like when I missed that Janice from Friends was also an actress on Seinfeld? The website also has a few additions to the list of films, TV shows, and songs referencing McDonalds. They are:

• Space Jam
• “You Be Illin’” by Run-D.M.C.
• Brief Answers to the Big Questions by Stephen Hawking
• “Cómo, Cuándo Y Dónde” by AKWID
• Chak De! India
• The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

I’m guessing they might not have secured the rights to these in time for the ad, or the cost was just too high to justify their inclusion. What do you think about the commercial? Does it entice you to stop in to a McDonald’s near you for a meal today? See you all tomorrow…

-Out of the Wilderness

I’ve picked my top Florida State Parks photos

This is the second year I’ve submitted photos to the Florida State Park photo contest and I’m just as proud of these as I am of last year’s. Also, I think I’ve improved in my photography between the two submissions. First up, here are the 5 pics from 2022…

In 2023, I sent in 12 photos and, to be honest, I had a lot of fun narrowing it down to my favorites from all the parks I’d been to. One thing I think that made a difference… 1. This year I knew there would be a contest, last year I didn’t know. So I think I did better when there was something at stake, something to aim towards. 2. I had more time. In 2022 I had only camped in a handful of parks. In 2023, I went to almost all the parks I’d wanted to visit in Florida.

Here are the 12 I picked to send in for 2023…

I think the website said they’re picking winners in November. I would be surprised and so happy if one of my photos was chosen. Surprised, because I saw a lot of the photos people sent in from the online parks gallery and there are great photographers out there who captured very unique moments. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see, and I’ll say this, too… camping was its own reward for each of the parks I visited. Florida has such beautiful natural settings, I’m just glad I captured a tiny portion of it on camera!

-Out of the Wilderness